Pat Robertson, Louis Farrakhan, Mariah Carey, Fidel Castro, Brad Pitt, and Nancy Pelosi were on vacation together, and riding across East St. Louis in a rented car, when it stalled on the railroad tracks. Immediately the gates came down and they realized they were stuck. Pat, Louis and Nancy managed to escape, but Mariah, Fidel and Brad weren't so lucky - the train smashed into the car before they could escape. Oh...what a gooey mess!!!
The three newest roadkill found themselves suddenly standing at Heaven's gate, with St. Peter standing guard, which of course he always does 24/7 except when his cell phone rings and he has to wield his ax and his trombone to fix a Halo Discombobulation (which can happen without any kind of advance warning, and which threatens the universal equilibrium of Heaven). These roadkill victims were relieved they didn't have to wait around for St. Peter and occupy themselves by playing charades or Twister or something.
It would boggle the mind trying to imagine Mariah Carey, Fidel Castro, and Brad Pitt trying to play Twister, but I digress.
St. Peter told the three that, if they wanted to enter Heaven, each one had to answer a simple question, and they'd get let in.
To decide which one would get the first question, St. Peter would flip a three-sided coin. Each of the three had a chance to call Heads, Tails, or Plëvvib€xoltty. St. Peter flipped the coin and it came up Plëvvib€xoltty, which had been called by Fidel, so he got the first question.
ST. PETER: What is the name of the day, which occurs on the same date every year, which celebrates the birth of Jesus?
FIDEL CASTRO: Navi..., er, Christmas. (He started to answer in his native Spanish, but quickly remembered that he was talking to St. Peter rather than San Pedro, and therefore maybe he should answer in English.)
Immediately the trumpets blared, the fireworks went off, the light show began, the gates opened, and Fidel walked in.
Brad Pitt happened to be closest at that point, so he got the next question.
ST. PETER: What is the title of the person who preaches in front of a Catholic congregation?
BRAD PITT: A PRIEST, of co...
(before he could even finish, the trumpets blared, the fireworks and light show went off, the gates swung open, and Brad walked into Heaven.)
Mariah Carey remained though, by the time her question came up, 22 more people were in the queue behind her.
ST. PETER: Mariah, what was the first thing that Eve ever said to Adam when she saw him naked?
MARIAH: Uh, let me think...still thinking...um, that's a HARD ONE...
Immediately the trumpets blared, the fireworks and light show went off, the gates opened...