just got called faggot...

[CowboyBob]

Unfortunately there are assholes in the world, and the guy that called you a faggot is one of them.

Consider the source.

 

[Kulindahr]

Unfortunately there are assholes in the world, and the guy that called you a faggot is one of them.

Consider the source.

This inspired another response idea:

"Careful who you say that to -- some of us are mean."

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

People saying what they would have said or done are so full of shit. We all would have reacted exactly as the OP did because the comment was a sucker punch. Sorry you had to experience that. Some people are assholes.

I think you underestimate the joy that shouting abuse back at idiots brings me.

 

[Frosty]

Never pick a fight with someone who can kick your ass, that's just stupid. I know there are a lot of skinny gay guys out there that pretty much anyone can beat up. If you're one of those guys, do not go around picking fights because you'll get your ass kicked.

One thing you can do to reduce the amount of people picking on you is going to the gym and getting big. People don't mess with people they're afraid of. Even if you are big and strong though, anyone of any size can be carrying a deadly weapon so always avoid getting into a fight if possible.

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

for the first time ever, well, for being gay anyways. didnt kno how to react, just opened my mouth like i was shocked.


happened as i was leaving a house, home owner said 'bye faggot'

Reply with something like"Well your sister/mother said I was better than you, and she should know" .......... and Your Brother said I was better than you or your fucking DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Kulindahr]

Reply with something like"Well your sister/mother said I was better than you, and she should know" .......... and Your Brother said I was better than you or your fucking DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's with the idea of being insulting? That generally just encourages them; it validates their insult by showing they ht a nerve.

 

[Kulindahr]

I'm gonna have to agree with Kuli here.

If you're going to say that to someone, seriously be ready to fight.

And lose even if you win, unless you're lucky enough to whip someone who will respect you for it.

 

[Kulindahr]

Perhaps, but personally, I wouldn't care in the heat of the moment. I'm human, I have feelings, and I'm not perfect, so naturally, I'm going to react and/or retaliate occasionally. If that "validates" the insult or encourages them, so be it. Sometimes, I'd rather stand up for myself than [STRIKE]take the high road[/STRIKE] be a doormat. Right or wrong, it's liberating, regardless of the consequences.

Responding with dignity doesn't make you a doormat, except to barbarian ethics. It takes more guts and composure to respond with dignity than to react with the animal forebrain.

Being the civilized one is what should be liberating. Perhaps the biggest victory I've ever had was the time a guy slammed me in the nose, sending blood everywhere, knocking me flat, and I wiped blood, looked at it, looked up at him and calmly asked, "Do you feel better now?"

 

[Kulindahr]

^
In terms of real defense...

have you read my sig?

 

[Ganoderma]

(....)

hi pai mei,

Thanks for the additional information. I fully agree with your posting.

Best wishes.

 

[Lefty]

Many are Called

BUTT

Few Are Chosen

​

 

[Kulindahr]

As for your "biggest victory", maybe you and I are wired differently, but I'm with Joswan on that one. I'd feel defeated. "Do you feel better now?" is weaksauce.

"Do you feel better now?" is total strength. It relegates the attack to the realm of insignificance, and says the other guys has serious issues. It says I didn't get diminished in any way.

It's like getting shot and not reacting to it, only reacting to the person's act -- it says "You haven't hurt me -- you can't hurt me."

Defeat is letting animal desires take over. Animals return insult for insult -- humans are better than that.

Ever seen the movie Road House? There's a nice bit in there by 'cooler' Dalton: be nice, until it's time to not be nice. Time to not be nice, here, is when they actually threaten your safety -- until then, be nice. Be imperturbable.

 

[DepravedMuscleFTL]

If you were here, with your attitude, you definitely wouldn't be terrified -- you'd be dead. And though the sheriff knew otherwise, he'd dutifully report it to the DA as an accident.



In other words, they're just like the mindless trolls of the skinhead tribes.



Yes. Sometimes rifle-toting endowment members of the NRA get called faggot by strangers.

And sometimes the rifle-toting endowment member of the NRA says, "So? I can still outshoot you."

becazuse u guys are a bunch of pussies who wont stand up for yourself we are trolls - and yeah - again - we are all terrified of ur boys in oregon ROTFLMAO - translate ur post as: I'm gonna get my big brother to beat u up and the entire state government is gonna help to ur an asswipe - but I mean that in a loving gentle way

 

[Críostóir]

becazuse u guys are a bunch of pussies who wont stand up for yourself we are trolls - and yeah - again - we are all terrified of ur boys in oregon ROTFLMAO - translate ur post as: I'm gonna get my big brother to beat u up and the entire state government is gonna help to ur an asswipe - but I mean that in a loving gentle way

OK, you've now lowered the level of discourse here, but I'll respond just as if I thought you'd listen, in case I'm wrong.

You mistake what Kuli is saying. He's not threatening, even in the abstract. He's saying that the responses advocated by some here would get you killed if you lived among the barbarians of Oregon, the point being that considerations of personal safety have to be weighed on an individual basis, depending on your situation.

If someone calls you faggot on Christopher Street in NYC, you can say whatever you want back, and if violence erupts, several bars full of leather-clad men will empty out to tear your assailants to bloody shreds. Respond the same way in God's Wrath, Arkansas, and your body will never be found.

Kuli's saying that where he lives, even if you win the fight, someone will shoot you in the back on a dark night two weeks later, and the local police will call it suicide. Yep, five long-range gunshot wounds in the back, worst case of suicide you ever saw.

So, if you judge your own situation to be such that you can successfully resist (verbally or physically) homophobic verbal attacks, that's great. More power to you. But don't judge others for making different decisions than you do, because their situation (not just their opinion) may be different.

 

[DepravedMuscleFTL]

and I repeat - I was raised on the streets of Baltimore - and I am NOT concerned with some hick in Oregon - I can assure u if I were ever in a vile dreaded place like Oregon or Alabama it would just be to pass through - and if someone calls me a faggot they are gonna have to go tell thier buddies without the use of a fucking tongue - and they will have to come hunt me down in Seatle or Atlanta or where ever my destination might have been - the origanal poster didnt say he was in some homophobic location - so if this stretching of the topic to relocate the entire ordeal into the backwoods of America is valid - then certainly my response that I would only be passing through is valid to - and - for the record - if you are living in some place as vile as Oregon or Alabama then move the fuck out and stop ur bitch whining - its a free country last I heard -

 

[Críostóir]

Yeah, I wasn't wrong.

 

[Kulindahr]

No, I've never seen Road House.

Sorry, but those idealistic metaphors don't work for me. I'm a realist. When someone attacks me, I'm going to defend myself. When someone upsets me, I'm going to be upset. When I feel pain, it hurts. Simple cause and effect. There's no way around that. Bottom line, if I were called a faggot, it would bother me, and I'd probably express that somehow.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

It can only bother you if you believe they have ownership over you.

Otherwise, you could just laugh at the antics of the animals.

 

[Kulindahr]

becazuse u guys are a bunch of pussies who wont stand up for yourself we are trolls - and yeah - again - we are all terrified of ur boys in oregon ROTFLMAO - translate ur post as: I'm gonna get my big brother to beat u up and the entire state government is gonna help to ur an asswipe - but I mean that in a loving gentle way

I guess you haven't read my posts. I did stand up for myself -- I just didn't do it in an animal, barbaric way.

Your translation is hilarious -- my big brother would just laugh quietly and shake his head at you being a little kid so late in life.

 

[Kulindahr]

OK, you've now lowered the level of discourse here, but I'll respond just as if I thought you'd listen, in case I'm wrong.

You mistake what Kuli is saying. He's not threatening, even in the abstract. He's saying that the responses advocated by some here would get you killed if you lived among the barbarians of Oregon, the point being that considerations of personal safety have to be weighed on an individual basis, depending on your situation.

If someone calls you faggot on Christopher Street in NYC, you can say whatever you want back, and if violence erupts, several bars full of leather-clad men will empty out to tear your assailants to bloody shreds. Respond the same way in God's Wrath, Arkansas, and your body will never be found.

Quite correct. Get called a faggot down near Stark street in Portland, and you can laugh at the guy, or get the attention of others and ask, "Can you believe this degenerate?"

Get called a faggot up in the Coast Range while shooting with the Pink Pistols, and you can say,"Would you mind repeating that?" while a dozen very serious-looking gays and lesbians and friends turn to regard the guy with a look you might use when someone walked in through your front door with dog doo on both shoes (or as one of us did, you can reply, "Yeah, I've heard that before" -- I loved the confused look on the redneck's face).

But get called a faggot on the streets and get into a fight, and ...

Kuli's saying that where he lives, even if you win the fight, someone will shoot you in the back on a dark night two weeks later, and the local police will call it suicide. Yep, five long-range gunshot wounds in the back, worst case of suicide you ever saw.

Probably not shot. Though you could be tied up, tossed alive in a canyon in the woods and have a dead cow thrown on top of you, and left there. More common is the "accident" with old logging gear up in the woods -- impaled on an old, rusty, moldy 36-strand cable through your guts.

This is a place where my best buddy got his tires slashed and car keyed for recommending that some guys not kill a dude for being gay, while they were in the middle of carefully breaking every rib and a number of other bones.

So, if you judge your own situation to be such that you can successfully resist (verbally or physically) homophobic verbal attacks, that's great. More power to you. But don't judge others for making different decisions than you do, because their situation (not just their opinion) may be different.

But try to rise above the old animal piece of the brain, either way.

 

[Kulindahr]

I don't subscribe to your philosophy. Slurs bother me simply because I find them disrespectful, and I react however I see fit. If you disapprove of that, so be it.

Do you react exactly the same if the slur is directed at someone you don't even know?