Just Say No To Sports!

[Grant Tarredus]

 

[Araucaria]

...say the boy in the rugby shirt and the girl in the cheerleader dress.

 

[Essex Boy]

But what about footie?

​

 

[Thad1527]

^ I hate misspellings. I bet they did that just to avoid paying royalties to a nonexistent brand name.

If you'd rather watch Real Housewives than ESPN...

 

[Grant Tarredus]

Just Say No Sports! is the work of artist Steven Rhodes, one of his many designs combining spot on ‘70s kitsch, a seeming desire to wreak terrible vengeance on kid culture (whatever happened to him?) and outrageous slogans. They’re marketed by him everywhere t-shirts, mousepads and such are sold (I especially like his such).







There’s something to offend everyone. I fell in love with his attack on athletics because this was me in gym class.

View attachment video.mp4

 

[Araucaria]

OK, now we're getting somewhere. It sounds like Steven Rhodes was reacting to the messages adults sent to kids back in the 60s and 70s, when you'd get annoyed because there was often something that didn't feel right about many of them, but nobody ever gave a hint of concern. So when we got old enough to parody those messages that got us so pissed off we could scream, we often added a vicious twist to them.

Like My First Knife Fight really isn't funny, but I'm laughing because it's so bizarre. And where did that boy get all that money to pay off all those other kids? Five dollars was real money to little boys and girls in those days.

Yeah, and I can see making fun of the obsession with sports. Everything in P. E. classes was about competition and achievement, and the kids that didn't do well ended up with five years of psychotherapy to deal with the trauma. Why did nobody ever get the idea that the classes should help all kids find something they enjoy? Like having fun bike riding or whatever if football didn't suit them?

 

[Grant Tarredus]

“YES” to every syllable of that. I was born in 1960 (I’m 65), and five dollars was a FORTUNE.
As for P.E., I did everything I could to skip it as often as possible. I hated it; I’ve never had the slightest interest in playing or watching any sport, and I couldn’t throw or catch a ball or run any more than I could fly to the moon.
This is freaking hilarious.

 

[Essex Boy]

[Spoken:]
Let's go back to your childhood, childhood, childhood...

[Verse]
The Odd Boy lay down by the football field
Took out a slim volume of Mallarmé
The centre-forward called him an imbecile
It's an Odd Boy who doesn't like sport

[Refrain]
Sport, sport, masculine sport
Equips a young man for Society
Yes, sport turns out a jolly good sort
It's an Odd Boy who doesn't like sport

[Spoken:]
Dear Mr. Poxham, would you kindly excuse Steven from Games today?
He has had a nasty cold over the weekend and still has headaches and feels a bit snotty
I don't feel he should be outside with the rougher type of boy, as he is a little delicate
Hoping you will understand, yours sincerely, Nellie Maynard, Mrs
(Give him a nice, cold shower.)

[Refrain]
Sport, sport, masculine sport
Equips a young man for Society
Yes, sport turns out a jolly good sort
It's an Odd Boy who doesn't like sport

 

[Essex Boy]

Who remembers Molesworth!

 

[Dargelos]

Thank you very much for the Bonzos song. It could have been written just for me, every word is true.
School games taught me to hate sport always and forever. The odd boy is now an odd old man.