just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[borg69unimatrix]

I play Words With Friends on and off. Mainly with my boyfriend and maybe one other person, but someone used "ID" on me today when I remember trying it long ago and it didn't work (and it shouldn't). Stop changing god damn rules. -_-

There was a time when "ID" was another name for Brain, or Thought... I believe.

I remember a science fiction movie when I was a kid called, "Monsters from the Id".

I would have allowed it.

 

[Lefty]

I wouldn't ignore you even if it was a diss.

On that word matter, there was a 'Wizard of Id' cartoon years ago.

Then there is always this old rock of ages ...

Id, ego and super-ego are the three parts of the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche ;

 

[Scealle]

Really tired of being the first to say hi to people. I sometimes wonder why do I put so much effort into being nice to people. Most don't even greet back anyways.

 

[Kulindahr]

You know I have to say this is something that always amazes me. I know times are changing and it's 2013, but IS there a big straight male crowd at gay bars?

I run into them. I was talking with one guy when his girlfriend came up, and jokingly I asked her, "You know if he comes to a gay bar, he's subject to being groped, right?"

I had to fish my jaw out of my drink when she said, "Sure. He's fair game."

 

[xbuzzerx]

I run into them. I was talking with one guy when his girlfriend came up, and jokingly I asked her, "You know if he comes to a gay bar, he's subject to being groped, right?"

I had to fish my jaw out of my drink when she said, "Sure. He's fair game."

I can't even believe you asked that Kul lol. Getting such a different image of you now.

 

[cgymike]

Just a blank entry instead of buying into that energy. It was what it was but it isn't and won't be. That sums it up anyway. Oh...now to delete your number from my phone...oh wait your name never was in there...LOL

 

[G-Lexington]

My vague new year resolution was to "get back on track" on a few things - to wit, exercise and household chores. Six days in, I've already skipped exercising twice (once because I was sick with a cold, once because it was my birthday) and I still haven't caught up on the chores thing. I'm at least making progress on both.

Lex

 

[Anders123]

Someone here just ignored one of my compliments.

Welcome to my world.

It's the nature of the internet, I suppose. I no longer post on the forums or even send comments and PMs with the expectation of getting a response. If somebody says something that I think is funny, clever, or wise, I'll drop them a comment, but I do that because I want them to know that somebody appreciates what they have to say, not because I want recognition.

I get a little disappointed if I'm having an in-depth discussion with a close friend and without explanation they don't respond, but if it's just light flirtation or casual chat, I don't allow myself to get invested in waiting for a response. I simply click reply and get on with my day.

If I took it to heart every time somebody around here didn't respond to one of my comments or PMs, I would've necked myself a long time ago.

 

[Lefty]

^
I've never ignored you.

I am sure there are others who haven't ignored you either

 

[frankfrank]

I play Words With Friends on and off. Mainly with my boyfriend and maybe one other person, but someone used "ID" on me today when I remember trying it long ago and it didn't work (and it shouldn't). Stop changing god damn rules. -_-

ego, superego, id...I don't understand WHY it didn't work when you tried it? It should.

 

[frankfrank]

Someone here just ignored one of my compliments.

Also possible that person doesn't even know that the comments exist, though I REALLY LIKE the Notifications tab which came in a recent JUB upgrade! Also, not all comments require a response (and the best way to reply specifically to a Comment is still rather cumbersome). I am not all that good at responding to comments, but that doesn't mean that I don't care, not at all. "[STRIKE]Jasun[/STRIKE] frankfrank loves you all."

UPS is a frickin' nightmare. They royally screwed up delivery of one of my textbook rentals, so I swore them off (and the rental company for using UPS).

Gawdzz, I despise UPS. I will *NOT* give them my physical home address. NOT EVER. As soon as they start using THAT, they might deliver a package that may be found only MONTHS later, or they may leave something in the rain and it gets ruined, etc. I don't want to think about a package that comes two days after I've started a 38-day trip. I always have UPS send to a place in town that I do some business with, but they have to be careful and remember to use the "c/o" in the address or I may never see it.

AND, TO PICK UP MY PACKAGE, I AM STRICTLY LIMITED TO THE HOURS THAT THE PLACE IS OPEN - which is never after 5 in the afternoon, and not on weekends.

P. O. Box is so, so, so much better - there has not, to my knowledge, ever been even ONE HOUR of even one day, even once, in the past 27 years, that I WOULD NOT have had access to my Box if I decided to go there (such as 4:30 on Christmas morning or something). Of course, if something is too large or I have to sign for something, that's another issue, but the Box is much safer. (If something is merely too large - BUT NOT HUGE - they'll put a key to a nearby locker into my Box, and I can retrieve the item from the locker. Brilliant idea, but it's not all that common at Post Offices in cities as small as where I am.)

I actually like the Post Office more... because if I miss a box the post office is nearby for pick up. They are cutting service though because of budget shortfalls.Amazon may essentially render this all moot... as they initiate their Amazon Locker service.

What's that Amazon thing?

G...C, you ARE aware WHY the Post Office is cutting service, right? It's an issue which is being talked about by Bernie Sanders and ALMOST NOBODY ELSE. The Republicans, in 2006, REQUIRED giving the Post Office only TEN YEARS to pre-fund seventy-five years of retirement pensions, so the Post Office has to pre-fund retirements for some people who haven't even been BORN yet. The Republicans want the Post Office DEAD, because they're represented by a union. Goddam on them.

If the Post Office goes out of business, so do I. Absolutely and undoubtedly.

I no longer post on the forums or even send comments and PMs with the expectation of getting a response. If somebody says something that I think is funny, clever, or wise, I'll drop them a comment, but I do that because I want them to know that somebody appreciates what they have to say, not because I want recognition.

I get a little disappointed if I'm having an in-depth discussion with a close friend and without explanation they don't respond, but if it's just light flirtation or casual chat, I don't allow myself to get invested in waiting for a response. I simply click reply and get on with my day.

Pretty much an exact clone of my approach. I don't often leave Comments, but I have no expectations of a reply. If I expect a reply, I'll send a PM.

 

[frankfrank]

remember, if they're not attracted to YOU...don't look for any recognition.

Yes, I interact with some people here on JUB who are very good-looking guys.

But it would be MUCH more accurate to say that "I interact with many people here on JUB - and, as anybody would statistically expect, some of them also happen to be good-looking guys."

 

[Anders123]

^
I've never ignored you.

I am sure there are others who haven't ignored you either

I know you haven't, leftykins.

The intention of my post was not to grumble about the times I've been dismissed or ignored, but to explain my philosophy regarding online interaction. There is a near infinite list of reasons why a person might not respond to a comment or a message, and I was simply emphasising the importance of not taking it personally.

It's somewhat similar to a technique I often utilise to negate anger whilst driving. It's entirely possible that the impatient driver weaving in and out of traffic to get ahead of me is a reckless, inconsiderate twat, but it's also possible that he/she is in an emergency situation and has something incredibly important to attend to. When applied to JUB; it's entirely possible that a person not responding to a PM from me is doing so because they think I'm irritating or uninteresting, but it's also possible that they had a long day, that they feel tired, that they're not in the mood to discuss a certain topic, etc. etc.

Instead of crumbling into a neurotic mess wondering what it is about my personality that doesn't appeal to them (as I made the mistake of doing when I first started posting actively on JUB), I simply choose to let go of expectations and self-doubt. If people are in the mood to interact with me, then that's fantastic, but if not, that's okay too.

I have many friends here on JUB and elsewhere; there's always somebody somewhere who's happy to have a chat.

 

[refujiunderground]

even though this thread is based on venting, i do NOT feel like saying anything or expressing my true feelings because i have nothing to gain. a part of that was because i actually feel discouraged from something that was said on here awhile back.

but you know what. personally, if that person would have said the same thing to me right now like he did then right to my face, i would beat and stomp the shit out of him. like i don't ask for a fucking audience or whatever because what can someone do besides be a bystander, you certainly aren't living my life so don't think that i'm putting on a fucking show for you. but since you feel obligated to be a part of the show, i might as well kick your ass so you don't feel left out with how i'm feeling.

with that out the way, i'm just basically keeping to myself, not speaking to anybody for the moment because i don't feel in the mood and i don't want anybody to feel how i'm feeling. it's not good. i don't wish it on anybody BUT if you want to join in where you want to go like "shut the fuck up about your pity party" or worst off, look down on me for expressing myself, then i do have the right to fuck you up.

man, motherfuckers is just lucky that i just don't get tired and start taking out the anger and etc out on other people where i just start robbing and beating the shit out of people. when i went to the shrink's office for that group session, i felt like it was fucking pointless to be in there, in a group, talking about how i feel damn well knowing that i'll still be the same fucking way when i leave. i always feel that i have people telling me how to live MY life and do what they want me to do. from how i walk to what should keep me happy. it's as if i'm a fucking puppet where someone wants to shove their hand up my ass and tell me that this is what i should do. no sense of freedom, no fucking nothing.

you know, what i want out of this is a sense of living in peace where i'm happy with myself where i can live with myself. i can simply be confident to do whatever i want, whenever i please and not have anybody get in the way of that feeling. i would like to walk in the woods feeling happy, to go to fucking jazz clubs, feeling a sense of liberation in my mind and etc. it's me that's in the way of me achieving this and that's why i went out to reach help and etc to begin with.

 

[refujiunderground]

but back to what i just said, i feel in a sense that the person that was acting like "wanker" was basically insulting all the people such as myself outthere who geniunely have a problem where they're basically trying to have the courage to work on it and basically making fun of that struggle. i realized this when i went over to how many damn shrinks, therapist or whoever. i was already afraid that the things that the things that i say would be used against me where i would find myself in a straightjacket or be put in a background check where it will be held against me. it is NOT easy saying things such as that you're angry, you're sad, you're unhappy with your life, you have weird behavior patterns and etc because people will look down on you where they'll be like "this person is crazy. he's a terrible person" to anybody. with most people, they'll just judge you off of that without even trying to know you as a person. you can be the nicest guy in the world but because you have some issues going on, fuckers judge you and treat you like a fucking criminal. i feel that the "wanker" alias just made it harder for people such as myself who is scared of getting help look bad.

just like the adam lanza kid or the columbine kids or the james holmes cunt or whoever else. they basically make it hard for me to say my fucking thoughts and feelings because then people will think that i'm THEM when i'm NOT. i don't want to hurt anybody nor get myself in trouble doing bullshit. when i say my feelings and how i get mad sometimes where i feel like beating somebody up, it's simply because i don't know how to manage those feelings. i also have a problem where i can't put my mind in check where i can just block all of the negative bullshit out which help keep those feelings out or whatever. i sometimes have memories of the past or thoughts that bother my emotions that suddenly pop up and before i know it, i'm angry or i'm sad as hell.

you know, i don't really care about getting laid, finding a boyfriend, having a million dollars, having a job or whatever. i just want to have a sense of freedom with my mind where i don't feel like i'm trapped. i don't want to have some ocd related behavior, i don't want my emotions to go down south or to get really blown up because i'm in an environment where my paranoia due to my low self esteem makes me think that people are out to hurt me when they don't give a fuck about me, and etc. i also am concerned about how the world sees me BUT i also realize that that's also is what has been kicking me in the ass too because then my anxiety builds up. i end up worrying about if such and such person thinks i'm a weirdo, if i'm a loser or if they're laughing @ me behind my back. i feel that a part of that shit has to do with being around some godawful bullies and assholes when i was a kid that would just take pride in making me feel like i was shit.

 

[refujiunderground]

^ You will be happy one day, 'fuji.

Funny thing about life is things can change drastically (for the better, and sometimes for the worse), in an instant. There are a number of things that I'm not happy about these days--but I know they won't last forever. Just try to use your time to work toward change, stay positive, and most of all--have some 'fun'. Whatever brings you some sense of 'joy'.

oh shit...I'm sounding like a broken record to you, huh?

thanks, neo.

you mentioned a few things that i thought were really interesting that hit a lightbulb.

one of them is moving towards change. change in itself scares me even though i know that i have to change in order for things to get better. guess a better word for it would probably be adjustment problem. my anxiety will actually work against me in that matter where i'll get all nervous when it comes towards doing something that will move me in a positive direction.

another thing you said is about nothing last forever. you know, that's something that provides hope because a better day might be tomorrow where these issues will stop. however, i also am aware of that there are opportunities at hand that are only around for a set time and the fear of changing the way i thought patterns, actions and etc do have an effect. there's been plenty of missed opportunities because of that. probably wouldn't be in the mess that i'm in right now.

but naw, you don't sound like a broken record. in fact, you're basically helping out think about the light at the end of the tunnel because for a second, the darkness made me forget about it. being hopeless and thinking that things will never change is a horrible feeling.

 

[refujiunderground]

RJ, your experience with Wanker illustrates perfectly the harm those kinds of guys can do.

They come in here, make up a false identity, go around insulting everybody, playing with everybody's emotions, and end up getting banned after they do their damage.

It's not you, RJ, who has the problem in this particular case--it's the "Wanker"s of the Internet.

God damn them to hell.

exactly, they basically make it hard for someone who has a problem to come forward and say something because they might get dismissed as wanting attention or whatever else. horrible.

 

[frankfrank]

There have been updates to the game a few times since I tried it. They probably just added it in one of those updates.

Playing an electronic version, or an app or something, then?

Yes, they updated it and even added QI for those who play in English. Before I play with somebody, I ask them if they include QI in their lexicon, then I either will or won't use it (when appropriate to get rid of that icky letter). I loves-me mah Scrabble!!

About the closest to here that I ever play it, though, is in Indianapolis. I just don't happen to have nearby friends who enjoy the game all that much.

What's the strangest of all Scrabble letters? Other than the X, of course (which can form two-letter words with all five of the "full" vowels...and is absolutely AWFUL for seven-letter words), I'd have to say that the V is the strangest. It can be a bitch to get rid of...and no two-letter words exist in English for it. But, on the other hand, I think that a full half of all BINGOS I've ever played (i.e. putting down all seven tiles in a turn) have had a V in them. Strange that V would be good for words of that length (formed with the V and otherwise common letters).

 

[refujiunderground]

i feel like punching somebody in the face right now because i'm frustrated. i'm not mad with anybody but myself. i feel like putting the beats on somebody though.

 

[G-Lexington]

This is going to be one of those rants where I'm deliberately playing coy with details. So, you know, forgive me for that.

I started putting together these events. They're meant to be fun social events, but the "draw" is the entertainment. It involves me getting ten to twelves different entertainers from different groups to come and do a small performance. These small performances end up making a program. I've done two so far, and although the crowd has been modest thus far, everybody has walked away saying how much they've loved them, and that they're definitely coming for more. (My brother has come to both, and he doesn't come to ANYTHING I do.)

This is basically a labor of love for me right now - I may make a little money at the end of the night. But considering how much effort goes into putting them together, the cash doesn't come anywhere near meeting expenses, even if I billed at the rate of a dollar an hour.

* I have to contact the performers, explain what the gig is all about, and try to get them to agree to do it.
* I have to be aware that many of them get booked with little warning, and I fully expect them to take a well-paying gig over my free one. So I constantly have cancellations, and these "open spots" then have to be filled with other performers.
* I have to get them to pick what piece they'll perform.
* I have to build these small pieces into a cohesive whole.
* I have to advertise and try to get people to come out to the gig.
* I have to sort of act as the "glue" to keep the show running along.

Again, I like doing this. It's a lot of fun, and I love watching the gigs even as I'm working them.

Now the rant. The next show is weekend-after-next. I've had trouble getting this one filled, for some reason. Lots of cancellations, lots of holes being plugged. But that's part of the deal. Here's the part of the deal I wasn't expecting - the VENUE cancelled on me. Ends up somebody wants a private party there that night, and since that brings in more coin, see ya Lex.

I totally understand that this is a business, and they probably should take a gig with more guaranteed money than mine. But that means all my work up until this point just went out the window. They offered me the following weekend instead, which I can do. But that means I now have to contact all ten performers to see if they can move to the new date. So far, I've been lucky - only one cancellation (he'll be out of town), and four confirmations, including two "name" performers who I think will be excellent. But I honestly didn't really feel like putting even more effort into this damn "hobby" of mine.

Lex