Lost my love of 30 years...... and feeling lost

[oakpope]

Thank you Passat for giving us news.

Glad the lawn get mowned Did you do it yourself ?

For the decompression, that's normal I think, you can't keep up the pressure eternally. You will have lows, and few highs, and with time the lows will be less low (if I make sense). Don't be too harsh on yourself.

What will be your occupations for next week ? More cleaning to do ? Paperwork ?

For the urn, difficult moment to pass, maybe find something that would be to the liking of both of you ? Not knowing both your tastes, it's difficult to pick one for you.

Hoping you well

 

[Eagle653]

PASSAT, I am so sorry for your loss. I know that sometimes it must seem incomprehensible. As others have said, take time to heal and spend time with friends and family and all who love you. May they be a good source of support for you, and may your loving memories of your partner give you comfort in the days ahead.

Take care of yourself.

 

[diamondstar]

Am truly speechless here, but I feel the need to say something. Sorry about your lost Passat and I really do hope the feeling hurt and abandonment lessen from day to day. Peace and take care of yourself.

 

[hughmc]

I am so fortunate to have stumbled on this thread, having 3 short months ago lost my partner of 56 years at the ripe old age of 92. Passat, I sympathize and empathize with your pain and emptiness - it so parallels my own. Any relationship be it yours or mine, that lasted until the death of one, has seen lots of ups and downs and hard work by both at times to keep the relationship on solid ground. And that is true of any relationship, be it platonic or sexual.
I know how it feels to be alone in bed at night with just the memories to sustain me, and the tears flow readily then and when I sit down to eat alone. But I know it is all part of the grieving process which must be gone through if we are to retain our sanity. Fortunately, in the 26 years we have lived in San Diego, we made some very good friends who have helped me immensely - calling me, emailing me, stopping by to make sure everything is ok.
I understand why you feel some of your postings ramble, but you need to do that in order to come to grips with the reality of the loss. And we, who are here, are your friends and are here for you - just as I know they are for me.
I thank you for giving me more understanding of how important it is in our situations to reach out to others - you do a wonderful job of expressing your feelings

 

[Yuki Sohma]

I send my condolences on your loss

ys

 

[vforvendetta]

If I weren't in the company of others right now I'd cry - that's such a terrible thing to have to bear and I'm glad you're pulling through strong in this. I honestly can't imagine the hell of losing a long time partner - best wishes as you continue to go through the grieving process.

Remember that your partner probably would have wanted you to be happy after he passed on, and I hope you do find new happiness in life.

vv

 

[oakpope]

bump to have news

 

[Ram]

Sorry

 

[oakpope]

Bump - to have news from Passat. How are you ?

 

[FPNY]

Yeah, where is our little Passat? Fill us in on everything.....

 

[oakpope]

Would like to hear from Passat. How are you ?

 

[oakpope]

Another week without Passat news

Anyone knows his whereabouts ?

 

[ibill1]

Passat, please let us know you are OK.

I lost my Steve 3yrs. ago after 33yrs. and know everything you are going through. I didn't have to go through the sickness ordeal however, he passed from a massive heart attack in his sleep. Just like that, my world as I had come to know it was taken from me. I still have crying binges and think of him most of the day, everyday. Everything your feeling is normal. The anger of him being taken from you will subside, mine did, and you just start being able to live with the pain, it just becomes a part of who we are. I'm still in the same house we shared for 30yrs. Most of his stuff is still there. I sleep with his pillow and robe every night I'm home. I was taking his robe with me when I traveled but I stopped for whatever reason.

Believe me, it becomes easier as time passes and we just get used to him not being there any longer. I won't say I've accepted it, it just gets easier. The most difficult time for me was reliving that initial feeling of him not being here when I first woke up in the morning, that first few seconds I would think of him as still being here then it would hit me like a load of bricks that he was gone. That finally stopped about 3 months in and now it's much better. PM me if you like. Bill

 

[geloge]

Passat wasn't a very active member, probably he is fine but he doesn't have his mind in this site for the moment, at least I wish so.

 

[jknightuk]

Hi...

I'm really sorry to hear of your loss. I have also lost someone who I was with too... we had been together for 10 years. It's difficult, I know as losing someone you love makes you feel there's a huge space missing from your life. Keep going, my friend and remember: although he may not be with you in person... he is still very much a part of you in your heart and mind. Think of the good times, and the wonderful times you had together. This helped me

Easy for me to say, I know.. but I really hope things will be ok for you, and I wish you all the best. I'm certain everyone here will look out for you and keep you company.

All the best

 

[metta]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtPaA2oXuhI[/ame]

 

[voyager1994]

Passat - I'm sorry for you loss. After reading your post, I had tears in my eyes, your loss and grief touched me. I really hope that you are doing just fine, and PM me anytime if you need an extra pair of listening ears. I'll remember you and your partner in my prayers. Wish you all the best buddy!