me in 60 seconds

[jackoroe]

I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry but I will never understand this.

I am not trying to judge you. You're probably a nice person for all I know but I will never understand this and I can never completely respect a person who cheats on his wife, and furthermore comes to terms as if it's something that is OK or acceptable. The same goes for everyone in here who's agreeing or applauding this behavior. Honestly, I have to ask. How do you go back home to your wife and not have the guilt eat at you? I'm just trying to figure this out. I don't think I could deal with a situation like this without having it fuck at me mentally.

I asked for you to explain to me your views and reasoning behind his and you ignored it.

I also do not agree with the mods deleting peoples posts. Everyone should have a right to their opinions. I'm sorry this is offensive to some of you but I find this behavior immature, selfish and disgusting but I'm very curious to hear how he came to terms with doing this regularly and what HIS views on it are.

I'm bi and I'll never marry a woman and start cheating on her regularly. Nobody said it was easy being bi but this isn't the right way to deal with your sexuality.

You've asked the question and the OP has chosen not to respond. That's his right. The topical query posed at the start of this thread was:

be curious in hearing from any other guys with similar experiences

As to the deletion of posts, this is a no flame zone. I'm not about to have the OP castigated as to his choice of lifestyle, whatever it may be, so long as it is within the parameters set up by JUB. While everybody has a right to an opinion, not all opinions conform to individual message boards.

In any event, should he desire to explain his compartmentalization process for dealing with his issue, he's free to do so. But let's let him decide if that's a topic he's like to address.

 

[Rex]

Its a morality issue. Morality varies.
I think you are in love with Mr BiCover.

LOL, not really.

I mean in some sense I can understand the whole "Omg sucking off a hot married guy" but the guilt that would set in after you've shot your load will hurt. I guess the real question is why did these people WANT to get married? Is this just to please society and their parents? Maybe Mrbiundercover won't answer but this is interesting. Maybe someone can shed some light on it.

I DO see these "married guy" ads on craigslist all the time and I know gay blowjob whores flock to them. I think it's the whole "omg sucking off a straight guy" fantasy for them.

As long as your wife knows about your extra-curricular activities, what's the big deal?

Kudos for ALWAYS wearing condoms, a lotta people forget that part when they're being promiscuous.

But she doesn't know and very few bi guys who do this sort of thing let their wives know about it, because any there aren't many women who will stay in a relationship like that.

 

[Rex]

Are you sure she doesn't know? Maybe I missed it but I thought he hadn't mentioned whether or not she knows. It's not fair to assume she doesn't know because many women marry bisexual men and aren't bothered by the husband's night life, especially since, in this case, he always uses condoms, and his 'always' was underlined. If nothing else, atleast he's being safe.

Many women marry bi guys and let this happen? I doubt it. The majority of women wouldn't stick around in a relationship with an openly bi guy. Some women are open minded and would but even those few would usually not be with their man being unfaithful. Atleast not in any serious relationship that's going to last.

As for Mrbi, I don't think he mentioned whether or not his wife knows but it's pretty obvious she doesn't know. He says they have a healthy sex life so chances are she may never know what he's doing.

 

[Fucker29]

Are you sure she doesn't know? Maybe I missed it but I thought he hadn't mentioned whether or not she knows. It's not fair to assume she doesn't know because many women marry bisexual men and aren't bothered by the husband's night life, especially since, in this case, he always uses condoms, and his 'always' was underlined. If nothing else, atleast he's being safe.

Huh? He said it in the OP:

I'm mid-30s, married w/ kids, work in law enforcement, triathlete, musclehead, bi, horndog, I meet guys 1-2 times a week on the downlow, wife does not know, am 100% top, happy with the way I am & no interest in coming out, realized I was bi when I had my first m2m sex as a senior in high school, had banged a fair # of girls by then

 

[Rex]

The part that I don't understand is this person realized they were bi in highschool so that gave them PLENTY of time to really think it over, find out who he was and come to terms with his sexuality.

Yet he still married a woman who doesn't know he likes men and opted for a traditional straight lifestyle and figured this was the way to go. This is how he dealt with his sexuality.

 

[Rex]

I will admit what I did was wrong, though from my understands with that guy is that he was broken up at the time with his girlfriend. He may have or may not have been lieing. I was pretty foolish to do that. As for the guy, he's now in jail and that will disqualify him from ever becoming a police officer (what he was pursuing), his girlfriend has left him, and he's basically ruined his life.

Also, having a girlfriend is one thing but being married with children is even more extreme. Again, I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means and I hate to be judgmental but I really don't like the fact that people do this thinking it's OK and that other people condone and applaud this behavior.

 

[Rex]

I have a good friend of mine who is married and has 2 girls, got married to his wife with the understanding that he could have one boy on the side, and she could have one girl on the side. They have their rules. Each spouse must meet the "other" that they are going to be sleeping with. My friend was Russian, and she was American. It worked quite well for them, but they were upfront and honest with it.

That's different though if both the man and wife are bi.

Well, let's face it she isn't here saying they have a healthy sex life. As he's said, he prefers / sleeps with men 90% to 95% of the time. Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't.

I personally couldn't live with myself lying to my spouse but that's my opinion, and my own personal moral code, and not a damnation of anyone.

I think too many people assume that a lover, mate, friend, relative, employer, etc can't accept any behavior outside of a very narrow preconceived ideal that they don't even attempt to give the other person a chance, and thus embark on a life of lies, deceit, and shame.

Yeah it's a shame really. Because if a marriage is going to last and you're going to grow old and die together, you have to ask yourself, when does it end?

When you're an old man and your kids have all grown up and had kids of their own and then it's just you and the wife, ready to live out the final years of your life together, can you really look in the mirror and be satisfied with the person looking back at you? What kind of life is that?

 

[Fucker29]

I have a good friend of mine who is married and has 2 girls, got married to his wife with the understanding that he could have one boy on the side, and she could have one girl on the side. They have their rules. Each spouse must meet the "other" that they are going to be sleeping with. My friend was Russian, and she was American. It worked quite well for them, but they were upfront and honest with it.




Well, let's face it she isn't here saying they have a healthy sex life. As he's said, he prefers / sleeps with men 90% to 95% of the time. Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't.

I personally couldn't live with myself lying to my spouse but that's my opinion, and my own personal moral code, and not a damnation of anyone.

I think too many people assume that a lover, mate, friend, relative, employer, etc can't accept any behavior outside of a very narrow preconceived ideal that they don't even attempt to give the other person a chance, and thus embark on a life of lies, deceit, and shame.

No, what he said was:

90% women/10% men

when my wife's pregnant, the men % rises

before I was married it was more like 95% women

There are a lot of couples into swinging and open relationships. They may not be the majority but the number of cases is still considerable. I, personally, see nothing wrong with it since both sides are aware and honest about it...and agreed to it. In this case, it's one forcing it upon the other, without the other even knowing...it's about the absence of honesty, the lying and deceiving. If she knew and still decided to stay with him, there'd be no problem...but that's not the case.

 

[Rex]

I really don't think those percentages are accurate. If it's only 10% men, why does he feel the need to cheat on the wife twice a week? If it was truly 10% I would take that as he'd have an encounter with a man two or three times a year.

With his description it sounds to me like he has an addiction to having sex with men.

 

[Rex]

I read his blog.

*shrug*

https://www.blogger.com/blogin.g?blogspotURL=http://bisexualcop.blogspot.com/

I feel I've made an educated decision based on the OPs own words. I'm just stating my opinion, nothing more.

I just read them and they are kind of saddening. Undercoverbi dude you sound like a nice guy and probably not trying to hurt anyone but I really hope you LISTEN to the comments people left you on your blogs. Some of them left you with some really good insight and I hope you don't ignore them.

I feel bad for lashing out at you in this thread before but after reading your blog I have a better understanding of who you are. I just hope you take the advice people have given you. I mean it, they really gave you some smart, intelligent responces. Best of luck and I hope you end up making some changes in your life.

 

[Fucker29]

I read his blog.

*shrug*

https://www.blogger.com/blogin.g?blogspotURL=http://bisexualcop.blogspot.com/

I feel I've made an educated decision based on the OPs own words. I'm just stating my opinion, nothing more.

There's certain things I don't get. I mean, he says he's been tempted to have sex with women but said no. Ok, so if sex with women makes him feel like he's doing something wrong...how come he doesn't feel the same when it comes to sex with men? What's the difference? That sex with men doesn't "hit close to home" since they don't have a vagina nor tits, therefore, don't remind him of his wife while sex with women would remind him of his wife? I'm just speculating here...I don't understand...both things are cheating.

And then there's this BIG contradiction:

I'm straight but I like to fool around with guys sometimes on the down low. I know that makes me bisexual. That's a part of life I keep 100% secret. I don't have a problem with that but sometimes I just need to get things off my chest.

If he doesn't have a problem with that...how come he feels the need to get things off his chest? *hint hint*

 

[Telstra]

*hint hint*

some people like to put stories on paper and some don't

 

[Rex]

There's certain things I don't get. I mean, he says he's been tempted to have sex with women but said no. Ok, so if sex with women makes him feel like he's doing something wrong...how come he doesn't feel the same when it comes to sex with men? What's the difference? That sex with men doesn't "hit close to home" since they don't have a vagina nor tits, therefore, don't remind him of his wife while sex with women would remind him of his wife? I'm just speculating here...I don't understand...both things are cheating.

And then there's this BIG contradiction:

I'm straight but I like to fool around with guys sometimes on the down low. I know that makes me bisexual. That's a part of life I keep 100% secret. I don't have a problem with that but sometimes I just need to get things off my chest.

If he doesn't have a problem with that...how come he feels the need to get things off his chest? *hint hint*

You took that out of context. He said "To most people I know and my wife", which means he's accepted that he's bi.

 

[Fucker29]

You took that out of context. He said "To most people I know and my wife", which means he's accepted that he's bi.

No I didn't. You misunderstood my point.

Maybe if I put like this it'll be clearer:

To most people I know including my wife I'm straight but I like to fool around with guys sometimes on the down low. I know that makes me bisexual. That's a part of life I keep 100% secret. I don't have a problem with that but sometimes I just need to get things off my chest.

See what I'm trying to say?

 

[Rex]

Oh ok sorry misunderstood. I haven't read the part where he said he wouldn't cheat on his wife with women.

 

[UnderBiCover]

If he doesn't have a problem with that...how come he feels the need to get things off his chest? *hint hint*

you skipped over the operative word "things" - that indicates there's no correlative connection, that the "things" are unrelated to the part I don't have a problem with - this is the complete sentence: "I don't have a problem with that but sometimes I just need to get things off my chest".

but you've made a correlative connection - had I said what you're "hinting" at, I would've said "I don't have a problem with that but sometimes I just need to talk about it"

I know I'm not Hemingway but I think you're reading a little too much into one sentence from a capsule summary, I'll rework that sentence when I get a chance so it's a little clearer

tomorrow's entry will be a good example of something I need to get off my chest

I asked for you to explain to me your views and reasoning behind his and you ignored it.

dude I don't want to sound like I'm being nasty to you because I'm not but seriously, do you actually think if you just demand an explanation that compels someone to answer you?

if some bible thumping gay hating fundamentalist demanded an explanation from you as to why you commited sodomy & violated the scriptures, would you feel compeled to answer?

 

[Fucker29]

you skipped over the operative word "things" - that indicates there's no correlative connection, that the "things" are unrelated to the part I don't have a problem with - this is the complete sentence: "I don't have a problem with that but sometimes I just need to get things off my chest".

but you've made a correlative connection - had I said what you're "hinting" at, I would've said "I don't have a problem with that but sometimes I just need to talk about it"

I know I'm not Hemingway but I think you're reading a little too much into one sentence from a capsule summary, I'll rework that sentence when I get a chance so it's a little clearer

tomorrow's entry will be a good example of something I need to get off my chest



dude I don't want to sound like I'm being nasty to you because I'm not but seriously, do you actually think if you just demand an explanation that compels someone to answer you?

if some bible thumping gay hating fundamentalist demanded an explanation from you as to why you commited sodomy & violated the scriptures, would you feel compeled to answer?

I understand.

 

[UnderBiCover]

I really hope you LISTEN to the comments people left you on your blogs. Some of them left you with some really good insight and I hope you don't ignore them.

I am buddy, don't worry, & thanks for your concern - I've been in touch with some of those guys by email too - a whole bunch of guys have also emailed me who didn't leave comments to share their personal stories & insight

 

[Rex]

you skipped over the operative word "things" - that indicates there's no correlative connection, that the "things" are unrelated to the part I don't have a problem with - this is the complete sentence: "I don't have a problem with that but sometimes I just need to get things off my chest".

but you've made a correlative connection - had I said what you're "hinting" at, I would've said "I don't have a problem with that but sometimes I just need to talk about it"

I know I'm not Hemingway but I think you're reading a little too much into one sentence from a capsule summary, I'll rework that sentence when I get a chance so it's a little clearer

tomorrow's entry will be a good example of something I need to get off my chest

I don't think he's reading too much into it. You say you don't have a problem with that you're doing but I think all this blogging, wanting to talk with people and get feedback SAYS you do have some kind of problem with it, or atleast aren't 100% confident with it.

The part that hurts me though is in your blog you say you don't have a problem cheating on your wife but I'm glad you are ready to make some changes.

 

[NineOfClubs]

These threads always amaze me.

Guys bashing behavior unlike their own, when their own is perverse as well, to others.

Most of you are gay, you're condemned by most religions, you've done all kinds of things you're not proud of, you're here on a porn site---but you can single out this guy for abuse.

So, negative posters, it's a live and let live world; if it weren't, you wouldn't even be alive to comment on this thread.