My first proper gay 'night out' - older guy manipulating younger one

[BostonPirate]

the real problem is that the young guy probably thought that he could work the guy over for a night of drinks and then just shimmy out of it, and the older guy KNEW that wasn't going to happen if he gave him enough alcohol.

the lack of experience on the young guy caused him to make a bad choice, and he really OUGHT to be held responsible for it so he wont repeat it.

BUT the experience of the older guy is damning. He knew precisely what the game was and played it well... which makes me think he is not so new to the game.

Sexual predators are dangerous.

trying to manipulate an obvious sexual predator? that is absolute idiocy when you are manipulating them to give you mind altering substances.

 

[Sha-Rok]

Rule #1: Never accept drinks from a guy unless you go to the bar with him.

 

[sd1989]

Or most likely the younger guy wants a shag off an older guy.

 

[altlover85]

sd1989, you're saying the younger guy wanted to sleep with the older guy? If that was the case why all the booze? Was it because you think he was in the closet?

 

[sd1989]

Yeah, I have no idea if he was in closet, I'm just saying, he probably likes to drink, he's 18!!

Has noone else ever been with an older guy and been drunk in their lives, I find this hard to believe!

 

[Willie Boy]

Hmmm.. We have an 18 straight (probably)kid being plied with liquor by his gay boss (probably the only reason the kid came along was to get alcohol as he isn't of a legal age to get it himself).

Am I the only person who sees the full meaning of that statement?


This boss is heading for serious trouble (all of his own causing):

1) The boss is putting himself in the position of sexually assaulting his employee!
2) The boss is administering alcohol to an underage person.
3) The boss is putting himself in the position of rapist if he has sex with the kid. He got the kid drunk to remove his inhibitions and take advantage of him. If he gets caught he will become a registered sex offender for the rest of his life.
4) The boss is potentially engaging in, at the least, involuntary manslaughter. As much alcohol as he's giving the kid would be alcohol poisoning and could very easily cause death!

Just an average night at a gay (or any) bar.

Personally, if I had been there, the kid would have been placed in a cab (with my partner riding along to make sure he was ok) and taken to the hospital to get checked out. The "boss" and I would have gone out into the alley for a little conversation. Then I would meet my partner at the hospital and make sure the kid got home safely.

But I don't go to bars, specifically because of the kind of shit that takes place at them.

 

[altlover85]

I love drinking and older men. However, I've never gotten really drunk with someone who I wasn't friends with or seeing in a relationship. I also find that getting too drunk tends to be make having sex more difficult.

The only reason I say he was closeted was because of the OP's first post.

Willie, they're in the UK.

 

[sd1989]

Hmmm.. We have an 18 straight (probably)kid being plied with liquor by his gay boss (probably the only reason the kid came along was to get alcohol as he isn't of a legal age to get it himself).

Am I the only person who sees the full meaning of that statement?


This boss is heading for serious trouble (all of his own causing):

1) The boss is putting himself in the position of sexually assaulting his employee!
2) The boss is administering alcohol to an underage person.
3) The boss is putting himself in the position of rapist if he has sex with the kid. He got the kid drunk to remove his inhibitions and take advantage of him. If he gets caught he will become a registered sex offender for the rest of his life.
4) The boss is potentially engaging in, at the least, involuntary manslaughter. As much alcohol as he's giving the kid would be alcohol poisoning and could very easily cause death!

Just an average night at a gay (or any) bar.

Personally, if I had been there, the kid would have been placed in a cab (with my partner riding along to make sure he was ok) and taken to the hospital to get checked out. The "boss" and I would have gone out into the alley for a little conversation. Then I would meet my partner at the hospital and make sure the kid got home safely.

But I don't go to bars, specifically because of the kind of shit that takes place at them.

The legal age of gay sex in the UK is 16. And alchohol is 18! So its perfectly legal!

He is not a kid! He is an adult!

 

[Willie Boy]

The legal age of gay sex in the UK is 16. And alchohol is 18! So its perfectly legal!

He is not a kid! He is an adult!

You are correct. I didn't notice that. But I do not believe they have made it legal to commit rape by getting someone drunk, or that plying such a young man with that level of alcohol is looked on as a wonderful thing to do. But at 18, no matter which country he's in, he's still a kid.

 

[bankside]

An 18 year old is an adult, not a kid. I mean from my point of view he's a kid, but in the eyes of the law he's an adult.

That doesn't mean that just because some guy might be legally pervy that we all have to allow it. The law gives us the freedom to call people out on their bad behaviour, even when their behaviour is not criminal. It's called "social censure."

There is a difference between being "young and stupid" and being a kid.

 

[sd1989]

You are correct. I didn't notice that. But I do not believe they have made it legal to commit rape by getting someone drunk, or that plying such a young man with that level of alcohol is looked on as a wonderful thing to do. But at 18, no matter which country he's in, he's still a kid.

Nope in the UK the age of an adult is 18. And there was NO rape.

The OP never saw on sex going on, so anyone can only speculate.

And I don't know how it is in you're country but in the UK this kinda thing sounds kinda normal, where younger guys want to go with older guys.

Its very easy to criticize others choices, but at some point you've got to let people enjoy themselves. If an adult wants to get drunk they can do!

 

[erobert]

/\ They should also know their limit which this guy did not. If the older guy cared for him he wouldn't have let him get to the stage where he was gagging on his vomit. He's his boss? The situation sends up multiple red flags for me.

And that guy was rubbing eveyone's legs at the table? Time to leave in my book and possibly take the 18 year old home or to a safer place.

 

[Willie Boy]

Nope in the UK the age of an adult is 18.

Legally, yes. But that does not mean they automatically have the full emotional maturity of adulthood.

And there was NO rape.

The OP never saw on sex going on, so anyone can only speculate.

Based on what already happened that the OP actually did see, there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999% probability that the kid was raped.

And I don't know how it is in you're country but in the UK this kinda thing sounds kinda normal, where younger guys want to go with older guys.

Not once did I talk about the age difference. That isn't an issue. My partner is a young lad of 25. I am much older.

Its very easy to criticize others choices, but at some point you've got to let people enjoy themselves. If an adult wants to get drunk they can do!

If an adult wants to get drunk, that's one thing. But it doesn't mean that someone else should have the right to take advantage of them. And we aren't even sure the kid "wanted" to get drunk. Maybe the boss brought the kid (his employee) out on a business dinner and pressured him into having more than a beer or two. Once started it is so easy to suggest yet one more as the "participant's" (victim would be a better word) inhibitions start to crumble. And the more alcohol given, the easier it is to talk them into having more. You're right, anyone can speculate, I just prefer to speculate based on logic and reason instead of while looking through rose tinted glasses.

 

[sd1989]

Well there are 50 year olds with the maturity of a 16 year old. But that doesnt make him a kid.

Very snobbish remark the 'rose tinted glasses'.

And Ive lived in this country and been out on the gay scene, there are alot of young guys looking for older guys.

 

[Willie Boy]

Ive lived in this country and been out on the gay scene, there are alot of young guys looking for older guys.

True. But that doesn't mean every 18 year old kid who has dinner with his boss is a gay guy looking for an older man. It doesn't mean those older men can take advantage of a young kid even if he is gay and wanting to get to know them.

The point is, pouring as much alcohol down anyone's throat in an attempt to get what you want from them is just wrong, no matter what the ages of the involved parties.

My remark about the rose tinted glasses is not snobbish, its correct. You are not seeing the facts as posted, maybe because you don't want to accept that this shit does happen. People get raped and abused, no matter what their ages. To gloss over it because you assume that it's just an 18 yr old who gets a little more than he bargained for (or that he secretly desires it) is just plain bonkers.

 

[SilverWolf]

And Ive lived in this country and been out on the gay scene, there are alot of young guys looking for older guys.

So the younger guy have to drink so much alcohol, they puke in front of everybody? The older guys keep giving the younger drinks when they clearly don't need it?

If that is what is common where you live, I feel sorry for the younger guys. To me it seems like the older guys are taking advantage of them.

Now I believe they are plenty of young guys wanting to hook up with older guys. And vice versa. I don't believe they need so much alcohol they are puking where they stand. And I don't believe older guys need to be giving more drinks

But in this case, the older guy was the younger guys' boss. And the older guy more than likely got him drunk. And from what the OP said, it looks he wanted to have sex with very drunk, cute, younger guy. Not to mention the younger guy claimed he was straight. And staying with the older guy as well?

To me, that's just wrong. He should be called out.

Now the 18 year old is legally an adult. He should know his limits. However he is 18. We all know that 18 year old are just brimming with life experience...

But unfortunately, this is like someone above said is not an everyday sight, but not uncommon. You see this everywhere, gay straight, old, young...There are always people who will do anything for to get laid.

Now what is the proper action? Some say call him a cab? Others say mind your own businesses. I say in this situation, it probably would have been best to call a cab for the younger guy.

Now I wonder if this had been an older male with his younger female employee, would we still say that its not that big of a deal? Or that younger women want older men in this situation?

 

[sd1989]

True. But that doesn't mean every 18 year old kid who has dinner with his boss is a gay guy looking for an older man. It doesn't mean those older men can take advantage of a young kid even if he is gay and wanting to get to know them.

The point is, pouring as much alcohol down anyone's throat in an attempt to get what you want from them is just wrong, no matter what the ages of the involved parties.

My remark about the rose tinted glasses is not snobbish, its correct. You are not seeing the facts as posted, maybe because you don't want to accept that this shit does happen. People get raped and abused, no matter what their ages. To gloss over it because you assume that it's just an 18 yr old who gets a little more than he bargained for (or that he secretly desires it) is just plain bonkers.

There was no mention of dinner in the OPs post, I do know rape and what goes on.

And I don't assume he got more than what he bargained for. I have said more than a few times that young guys go after old guys. Its normal for people to get wasted and then go shag someone in the UK.

 

[sd1989]

So the younger guy have to drink so much alcohol, they puke in front of everybody? The older guys keep giving the younger drinks when they clearly don't need it?

If that is what is common where you live, I feel sorry for the younger guys. To me it seems like the older guys are taking advantage of them.

Now I believe they are plenty of young guys wanting to hook up with older guys. And vice versa. I don't believe they need so much alcohol they are puking where they stand. And I don't believe older guys need to be giving more drinks

But in this case, the older guy was the younger guys' boss. And the older guy more than likely got him drunk. And from what the OP said, it looks he wanted to have sex with very drunk, cute, younger guy. Not to mention the younger guy claimed he was straight. And staying with the older guy as well?

To me, that's just wrong. He should be called out.

Now the 18 year old is legally an adult. He should know his limits. However he is 18. We all know that 18 year old are just brimming with life experience...

But unfortunately, this is like someone above said is not an everyday sight, but not uncommon. You see this everywhere, gay straight, old, young...There are always people who will do anything for to get laid.

Now what is the proper action? Some say call him a cab? Others say mind your own businesses. I say in this situation, it probably would have been best to call a cab for the younger guy.

Now I wonder if this had been an older male with his younger female employee, would we still say that its not that big of a deal? Or that younger women want older men in this situation?

My point was there was no talk of sex, no sightings off rape.

I think it doesn't help the gay community when a gay man goes out with a younger guy and people assume the gay is a rapist, its like saying ive got AIDS just cos im gay.

The older guy sounds actually more interested in the original poster. I mean you say it sounds like he wanted sex with the younger guy, but the OP suggests the older guy was interested in him!

Re reading the OP it actaully sounds like two people going out to get drunk. There is nothing wrong with that!

 

[ChickenGuy]

just curious, then why did you?
couldn't you have talked to the other work colleagues? asked them for the guy's address so you could send him home in a taxi or something?

In retrospect, I should have done more, but I lack confidence, I'm still unsure of myself, I don't like confronting people, and I'm VERY new to situations like this. My friend started walking away to one of the other places, so I simply followed him.

Your inexperience and shyness obviously prevented you from being more assertive and taking a stand against this "Guy 2".

This is true. I wish I had the presence of mind to take charge and do something about it, but the whole situation was very new to me, and I followed my friend's lead. I will try not to be so ineffective if this sort of thing ever happens again.

Yeah, I have no idea if he was in closet, I'm just saying, he probably likes to drink, he's 18!!

He actually kissed his female colleague, and used his tongue as well. I thought that it was a very odd thing for a 'gay' lad to do. She was right there through all of this as well. They said they worked in some sort of care home for the elderly or something. So there was the boss and at least two of his employees. Hopefully, she managed to see the guy home, as she was drinking far less, and was handling it far better.

Based on what already happened that the OP actually did see, there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999% probability that the kid was raped.

I REALLY hope that this wasn't the case. It doesn't make me feel very good about myself right now.

 

[sd1989]

In retrospect, I should have done more, but I lack confidence, I'm still unsure of myself, I don't like confronting people, and I'm VERY new to situations like this. My friend started walking away to one of the other places, so I simply followed him.



This is true. I wish I had the presence of mind to take charge and do something about it, but the whole situation was very new to me, and I followed my friend's lead. I will try not to be so ineffective if this sort of thing ever happens again.



He actually kissed his female colleague, and used his tongue as well. I thought that it was a very odd thing for a 'gay' lad to do. She was right there through all of this as well. They said they worked in some sort of care home for the elderly or something. So there was the boss and at least two of his employees. Hopefully, she managed to see the guy home, as she was drinking far less, and was handling it far better.





I REALLY hope that this wasn't the case. It doesn't make me feel very good about myself right now.

Just get this clear, you said in your post that he sounded interested in you, with the rubbing. How come they cant just be friends who wanted to get wasted, you make no mention of the older guy doing anything other than buying his friend/colleague drinks.

And you say the woman was there, so most likely they left together.