My first proper gay 'night out' - older guy manipulating younger one

[SilverWolf]

I don't know if you realize this. But you've made this man a villain for being gay and out. You've made taking someone to a gay bar be a crime. You come across as incredibly homophobic.

I would sound homophobic if I criticized this guy and gay guys in general. But i did not. If you read all my posts, including my response to the others who accused me of the same thing, I said anybody in this situation would look suspicious.

Once again, as an out gay man with plenty of friends both gay and straight, it's not uncommon for a mistake like this to happen. You go into a bar, it's just a pub where folks are having fun, go in and finding out that either a.) someone you thought was gay was really straight and you didn't know or b.) someone you knew was straight but thought knew he was at a gay venue didn't know.

I've said before this stuff happens all the time. And I said why this situation seems different in my eyes.

You guys are criminalizing him based on what could be a misunderstanding. And you are homophobic for doing so. PERIOD. "He took that straight guy to a gay bar...he must be up to no good."

Show where I said "gay guy takes straight guy to a bar, he must be a rapists. I have said numerous times, it was his actions that seem odd, and that anybody in that situation would looks suspicious.

What's even worse is that the OP had his first experience at a gay bar, saw something that he perceived as shady, and instantly wonders if that's a regular activity at all gay bars. When he sees a straight person do something stupid, does he associate that action with all straight people or just the person doing the action?

I answered this question. If a straight guy was in the situation and the young was a young woman, people would still wonder about him. I said in all my posts, this has nothing to do with him being gay.

I think it's only fair to hear the aftermath of this story. I'm 90% sure--even with only the OP's account of the night--that this straight guy went home and passed out on the couch.

I posted statistics about how alot of these situations usually end up not as you describe. I also said that all I know is what the OP said.

BTW, you can't emotionally blackmail someone for being at a gay bar they didn't even know was gay.

If they had sex he could.

And the fact that he kept drinking after he found out implies that he didn't care so much anyway.

I said that he was trusting of the older man, and that his trust could be misplaced.
Now if you don't agree with me that's fine.

But if you call me homophobic, please post where I said that an out gay men with friends are rapists/shady and did not include straight guys in this situation would be seen just as shady or where I insisted I was right.

 

[altlover85]

I still maintain this 18 year old guy should have known better than to get drunk at a gay bar if he was straight and worried about these type of things. We actually don't know if the older guy was predatory or not. We only know what the OP knew and he wasn't there when they walked into the bar so who knows what transpired before that or exactly what the circumstances were.

 

[SilverWolf]

I still maintain this 18 year old guy should have known better than to get drunk at a gay bar if he was straight and worried about these type of things.

He more than likely trusted him. Which or may or may be misplaced. I posted why I think it was misplaced. The numbers I posted show a disturbing trend in the number of date rapes that happens because one party knew and trusted the other party.

We actually don't know if the older guy was predatory or not. We only know what the OP knew and he wasn't there when they walked into the bar so who knows what transpired before that or exactly what the circumstances were.

I've said before all I know is what the OP posted. And I could be very wrong about this situation, but for someone reason people think I'm taking it as absolute truth and am sure I'm 100% correct.

 

[altlover85]

I think that's because you keep arguing against people that say something that's different than what you think happened. It's what you are doing now even.

 

[SilverWolf]

I think that's because you keep arguing against people that say something that's different than what you think happened. It's what you are doing now even.

I would just drop it, but this is the 3rd time I've been accused of saying something I have not, and I'm homophobic for false things I said.

That is big enough to have me post multiple times.

The first one accused me of it. I responded and that was it. The second one accused me of it, I responded and ended on good terms. And now the same thing, being said once again for the 3rd time...guess what's going to happen?

 

[altlover85]

I never said you were homophobic and don't think you are. All I'm saying is, the younger guy should bear some responsibility in this whole thing and that we don't know what happened beforehand between the older guy and the younger guy.

 

[SilverWolf]

I never said you were homophobic and don't think you are.

Thank you. But as you can see...

I don't know if you realize this. But you've made this man a villain for being gay and out. You've made taking someone to a gay bar be a crime. You come across as incredibly homophobic.

And you are homophobic for doing so. PERIOD. "He took that straight guy to a gay bar...he must be up to no good."

Now if you want to try and use statistics to say all gays are rapist then go ahead.

I think its very damaging on the gay community when people say colleagues are going out to get drunk and as one is gay, obviously he's a rapist. And unless you can delete you're posts that is what you and others have been saying.

Get a grip everyone! (why are you all going on about rape and predatory older men for?)

This is not the 1st time but the 3rd time I've been accused of being homophobic for something I did not say. Can you see why this would have me post multiple times?

Now Alan and SD have come to an agreement, we agree to disagree. And they acknowledge I was not targeting older gay men exclusively, but based on my posts they see why I find this situation odd.

Now as for NaughtyArousal, I am still waiting to hear his evidence of me homophobic, when I clearly have made no such comment. Either he did not read my posts or conversation I've had with people who accused me of the same thing and jumped to conclusions, or he deliberately is accusing me of being of homophobic for no reason or sees something I do not despite numerous conversations about these accusations and how they are wrong.

All I'm saying is, the younger guy should bear some responsibility in this whole thing and that we don't know what happened beforehand between the older guy and the younger guy.

I agree with you. Again, this is just me trying to clear any charge of me being homophobic.