My Sexuality.

[Blueyes]

so i need some opinions about what you guys would think about this. i think i'm probably bi.

as a young boy around ages 4 or 5, i watched wrestling faithfully with my family and was always turned on by it. then, i entered kindergarden, where i immediately started to like girls. i got back into wrestling a few years later without any sexual attatchments to it. i was dating lots of girls and was always turned on by them until the time of puberty, age 12 or 13, when i started to look at boys. with girls, i was more turned on by being emotionally close to them and loved to be in relationships with them. with guys, i more wanted just sex. i went through a few years where i thought i was gay, but then i got more into girls, dated some more. as of right now, i am in the boat of liking both gedners, really. i had a girlfriend not too long ago, but it didn't work out. i think i'm probably bi, but it's weird the way i kind of go through phases, isn't it? and the fact that mean are more sex objects and women are love objects?

i feel like i don't have a place in the world right now. any help?

I know exactly how you feel. I have had similar experiences, almost identical. I dated many girls up until just recently and i had a similar emotional attraction to them, however i had very little sexual attraction. I always thought that for me men were just objects of sexual desire but that i could never feel romantically attracted to another guy. Just recently i realized that this wasnt actually true, i indeed feel both sexually and emotionally attracted to one of my newer guy friends. Too bad that I am still in the closet and I am unsure about his sexuality I sure hope that he is also gay however

based on my own experiences I would say that you might be gay, but it really depends on the degree to which you are attracted to women.

 

[teh_nathan]

Personally, I'm a little alike.

I would still want the whole emotional attachment thing rather than sex. I was in relationships with females before I was having relationships with males.

I don't bother labelling myself, I don't like labels. So I wouldn't bother to ask "So what do you think I am?" - what do you think you are? Only you can answer this because only you know yourself well enough to.

 

[natedogg323]

Jesus...why the fuck do you all have to beat Soilwork over the head every time he makes a post? I don't agree with everything he has to say but come on...the point of this thread is to help someone figure out his sexuality, to help somebody who is confused, not critique every word Soil types!

Joey....

I grew up knowing I was gay but was raised a Christian. I was told at 14 that if I was gay I would burn in hell for eternity. I had to go to counseling with a pastor for years to change the way my brain thought. I ended up dating, having a child with and marrying a girl. Even though all along I knew I was gay, I thought "God" could change me. My point in saying all that is, you need to do what is best for you. Once you get into a "relationship" be faithful and honest with that person. It doesn't fucking matter if its a dude or a chick. DO WHAT FEELS BEST FOR YOU!!! Just don't' be a cheater, cause that really sucks. There no rule that makes us have to be straight or gay or bi. We are who we are. Don't stress so much about a label. Let your path lead you to your soul mate. You WILL find yourself when your done experimenting with what life has to offer.

Sorry to ramble but thats my opinion.

 

[teh_nathan]

"You ALL"? You've included me in that "all" and I haven't even said a word about OR to Soilwork.

I replied to the initial post itself, not on other comments.

 

[natedogg323]

"You ALL"? You've included me in that "all" and I haven't even said a word about OR to Soilwork.

I replied to the initial post itself, not on other comments.

WOW...Are we seriously going to start this here?? One could say that when I said "you all" ALL referring to ALL of the people who specifically made comments on Soil's post. ALL does not have to refer to everyone who posted. I meant ALL as in ALL of the people who attacked Soil instead of answering Joey's question. Next time I'll just name the 15 - 20 people by name who I specifically am referring too. Maybe that would be simpler.

 

[Soilwork]

Man, every thread really does end up about me, doesn't it?

Anyway... Just so we're clear... I haven't changed my mind, I think dating someone who's only in it for the sex is a bad idea.

Call me crazy.


But let's dramatize it:




Bi guy: I think you're hot.

Gay Guy: Would you like to go out to dinner with me?

Bi Guy: No, let's just fuck.

Gay Guy: You wanna go to a movie?

Bi Guy: No. I think you're hot and I want to have sex with you. But I'll never love you and I'd prefer if you didn't tell all my straight friends that I'd be seen with you.

Gay Guy: Sorry, I want more out of a relationship than sex. I dont' think I can go out with you.

Bi Guy: You're a bigot and have issues. You're a misogynist, you're self absorbed, you're neurotic, full of self loathing, vapid, self absorbed, emotionally damaged and hate all people who aren't like you.

 

[Hard Luck]

Wow, that was kinda funny and really one of the rudest things I've ever seen ... all at once.

 

[Soilwork]

Just like me in real life.

Funny and offensive.

 

[looseliam]

Just like me in real life.

Funny and offensive.

A plush doll is in the works...

 

[spooger]

Man, every thread really does end up about me, doesn't it?

actually......NO

but thinking so IS indicative of exactly the psychopathology others have pointed out.....

sad.......really sad....

about the original poster's question.....your sexual orientation is less important than your mental orientation.......

bond to whom you choose......be physical with whom you choose......

just be certain your partner understand your choices.....and exercises his/her own choices ....be WILLING partners and (almost?) anything goes....

cheat on a trusting partner....or USE people simply for your own gratification....and you're despicable ......REGARDLESS OF YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.....

ALL JUST MY HUMBLE OPINION....

 

[Soilwork]

actually......NO

but thinking so IS indicative of exactly the psychopathology others have pointed out.....

sad.......really sad....

What's even sadder is that you can't see a joke when it's pretty much arranged neatly on the wall.

I swear, some people are so thick you could stand on them.








(since you probably didnt' get that either.... I don't ACTAULLY think that every thread is about me, but I DO think the fact that everyone is attacking ME instead of the point I made pretty much proves that I'm right and you're all bitter)

 

[spooger]

What's even sadder is that you can't see a joke when it's pretty much arranged neatly on the wall.

I swear, some people are so thick you could stand on them.








(since you probably didnt' get that either.... I don't ACTAULLY think that every thread is about me, but I DO think the fact that everyone is attacking ME instead of the point I made pretty much proves that I'm right and you're all bitter)

jokes that are funny (or intended to be) deserve a laugh......that didn't (IMO)

since you seem to think I don't have a clue and am blinded by your presence in this thread....please be aware that I DID comment about what you said and expressed "MY HUMBLE OPINION" of what it means in the context of the poster's question....

i have no desire or motivation to attack YOU...i don't even know who you are....it doesn't matter anyway....just what you say and/or how it is said....

SHOUTED opinion is still.........opinion......

generalizations about a whole group of people is still........opinion......

of course that's what we ALL offer here....and I'm thankful for yours also......I just take it for what it is.....

 

[Riverrick]

Bi guy: I think you're hot.

Gay Guy: Would you like to go out to dinner with me?

Bi Guy: No, let's just fuck.

Gay Guy: You wanna go to a movie?

Bi Guy: No. I think you're hot and I want to have sex with you. But I'll never love you and I'd prefer if you didn't tell all my straight friends that I'd be seen with you.

Gay Guy: Sorry, I want more out of a relationship than sex. I dont' think I can go out with you.

Bi Guy: You're a bigot and have issues. You're a misogynist, you're self absorbed, you're neurotic, full of self loathing, vapid, self absorbed, emotionally damaged and hate all people who aren't like you.

Now that's pretty funny! I like it when you're in good form.

BTW, you shocked the heck out of me with all of those smileys you used in that other post.

 

[teh_nathan]

Re Soilwork's joke, this is strange: I don't act like the bi guy in the joke at all.
(but it's not strange to me, I'm pleased I don't fit the generalisation )

 

[blueto21]

Oh please, don't act like you have ALL the answers to how ALL bi men are in their sexual/romantic attractions.

Just because you're bitter and jaded about someone who hurt YOUR feelings in the past, don't lump everyone else into that category and give out horrible advice such as "if you're gay don't date bi men". I guess if a gay man cheats on you you shouldn't date gay men.

This is just as bad as how heterosexuals say that gay men are just sexually promiscuious and how two men can't have a stable relationship, how gay men are just vain people who care about nothing more than themselves, and how two gay men can't be loving parents to children.

Not ALL bi men fall in love with women only and see men as being sex objects. There are many variations of being bisexual and don't go by Soilwork's stereotypes, pseudo standards, and viewpoints based on his jaded past experiences.

Even if certain bi men do happen to be "romantic" with women only and are just "sexual" with men (i.e. they just want sex only), who the fuck are YOU to say how there's something wrong with that?

This is hypocritical and just an example of how some gay men and gay women treat bisexuals like shit.

People cheat based on various factors. It has nothing to do with their orientation.

Time to grow up Soilwork! Let go of the past!

How would YOU like it if someone said to you "Oh you make porn I can't date you. Sorry I have my standards.", or "You've been in the porn industry and you've had sex with a high number of men, so you'll cheat on me. I don't want a relationship with you."

This is too easy to answer! OF COURSE, it's because anyone who has a different opinion from your own and speaks the truth about bisexual men and their relationship habits they must therefore be bitter and jaded!! ARE KIDDING ME? ALL BISEXUAL MEN HAVE A FLUID SEXUAL ORIENTATION!! ALL!!! Just in case you miss that I’ll say it again. ALL BISEXUAL MEN HAVE A FLUID SEXUAL ORIENTATION!! ALL!! Not some, not a few, BUT ALL!!! Get it? Bisexuality = fluid sexual orientation. Now, what are you going to do about what I just said? Are you going to falsely accuse me of being jaded and bitter because I speak the truth? Are you going to accuse me of being a bigot and prejudice because I’m being honest and straightforward about the facts of bisexual men and their sexual habits? There’s no need to meet every single bisexual man in the world to know his sexual orientation is fluid. Anyone with half a brain would know that it most certainly is!!! Soilwork, is doing the gay community a favor by warning them of the dangers of dating bisexual men. Gay men can do whatever they want with that piece of information, but Soilwork is doing an honorable thing here by warning his gay friends and the gay community in general of the dangers of dating bisexual men. He should be commended for his efforts!! Thank GOD somebody has the balls to say it!! And NO you shouldn’t accept any man cheating on you, be it he’s gay or bisexual. But the difference between dating bisexual men vs gay men is that when dating gay men you are more likely to have a successful relationship because bisexual men have a fluid sexual orientation that allows their mind to wander between the sexes. You don’t have that problem with gay men!!! And who the hell said anything about cheating?? I don’t see anywhere in Soilwork’s post where he specifically accused bisexual men of infidelity. Are you imagining things to try to make a point or are you looking at the FACTS as they ACTUALLY are? And NO this is not like heterosexuals saying that gay men are just sexually promiscuous and how two men can't have a stable relationship, how gay men are just vain people who care about nothing more than themselves, and how two gay men can't be loving parents to children. Anyone with at least a two-digit IQ knows that is a LIE!!! This is not something that is innately apart of gay men as a whole. However, a fluid sexual orientation, is innately apart of bisexual men. It’s apart of their innate characteristics. They have no control over it!!! Nice try though with the red herring. We are discussing bisexual men and their relationship habits not what heterosexuals believe or don’t believe about homosexuals. In fact, who cares what heterosexuals think about homosexuals? I know I sure don’t!! And whether you choose to believe it or not the MAJORITY of bisexual men DO look to women for LTR and to men (gay or bi) as mere sex objects to be used for their sexual pleasure and nothing more!! Some gay men are ok with that. Does that make it right? Of course not!!! That still has no merit on the fact that their sexual orientation is fluid. And you really put your foot in your mouth when you made this statement “ Even if certain bi men do happen to be "romantic" with women only and are just "sexual" with men (i.e. they just want sex only), who the fuck are YOU to say how there's something wrong with that? ” ARE YOU SERIOUS? If you don’t see the wrong in that then I seriously don’t know what to tell ya!! And NO it is not hypocritical to point out the relationship habits of bisexual men. We’re just calling the facts as we see them!! You need to get a reality check!!

 

[Hard Luck]

And, by that virtue, who cares what gay men think of bisexual men?

I've heard nothing but bullshit from gay men about bisexual men ... vastly akin to the crap that gay men hear from straight men.


In the context of this thread ... where the O.P. has probably long left the room in despair ... I think it's really crappy to insult bisexuals with the same broad brush of stupidity and prejudice that gays have received from straights about their purported inability to be un-fluid in their sexual desires for the next man, and the next, and the next.

 

[dr_beat]

This is too easy to answer! OF COURSE, it's because anyone who has a different opinion from your own and speaks the truth about bisexual men and their relationship habits they must therefore be bitter and jaded!! ARE KIDDING ME? ALL BISEXUAL MEN HAVE A FLUID SEXUAL ORIENTATION!! ALL!!! Just in case you miss that I’ll say it again. ALL BISEXUAL MEN HAVE A FLUID SEXUAL ORIENTATION!! ALL!! Not some, not a few, BUT ALL!!! Get it? Bisexuality = fluid sexual orientation. Now, what are you going to do about what I just said? Are you going to falsely accuse me of being jaded and bitter because I speak the truth? Are you going to accuse me of being a bigot and prejudice because I’m being honest and straightforward about the facts of bisexual men and their sexual habits? There’s no need to meet every single bisexual man in the world to know his sexual orientation is fluid. Anyone with half a brain would know that it most certainly is!!! Soilwork, is doing the gay community a favor by warning them of the dangers of dating bisexual men. Gay men can do whatever they want with that piece of information, but Soilwork is doing an honorable thing here by warning his gay friends and the gay community in general of the dangers of dating bisexual men. He should be commended for his efforts!! Thank GOD somebody has the balls to say it!! And NO you shouldn’t accept any man cheating on you, be it he’s gay or bisexual. But the difference between dating bisexual men vs gay men is that when dating gay men you are more likely to have a successful relationship because bisexual men have a fluid sexual orientation that allows their mind to wander between the sexes. You don’t have that problem with gay men!!! And who the hell said anything about cheating?? I don’t see anywhere in Soilwork’s post where he specifically accused bisexual men of infidelity. Are you imagining things to try to make a point or are you looking at the FACTS as they ACTUALLY are? And NO this is not like heterosexuals saying that gay men are just sexually promiscuous and how two men can't have a stable relationship, how gay men are just vain people who care about nothing more than themselves, and how two gay men can't be loving parents to children. Anyone with at least a two-digit IQ knows that is a LIE!!! This is not something that is innately apart of gay men as a whole. However, a fluid sexual orientation, is innately apart of bisexual men. It’s apart of their innate characteristics. They have no control over it!!! Nice try though with the red herring. We are discussing bisexual men and their relationship habits not what heterosexuals believe or don’t believe about homosexuals. In fact, who cares what heterosexuals think about homosexuals? I know I sure don’t!! And whether you choose to believe it or not the MAJORITY of bisexual men DO look to women for LTR and to men (gay or bi) as mere sex objects to be used for their sexual pleasure and nothing more!! Some gay men are ok with that. Does that make it right? Of course not!!! That still has no merit on the fact that their sexual orientation is fluid. And you really put your foot in your mouth when you made this statement “ Even if certain bi men do happen to be "romantic" with women only and are just "sexual" with men (i.e. they just want sex only), who the fuck are YOU to say how there's something wrong with that? ” ARE YOU SERIOUS? If you don’t see the wrong in that then I seriously don’t know what to tell ya!! And NO it is not hypocritical to point out the relationship habits of bisexual men. We’re just calling the facts as we see them!! You need to get a reality check!!

Someone talks too much and says very little.

 

[teh_nathan]

Just so I can contradict Soilwork's generalisations about bi guys (he makes a lot of generalisations, who died and made him the authority on bi guys?):

I'm bi. I hate labels but if you have to apply them, I am. Sexual orientation is fluid, I prefer that one.

When I date someone or when I'm in a relationship with them - REGARDLESS of male or female, I'm ALWAYS faithful to them. I've NEVER cheated before and NEVER will. Why? I don't see the point. It causes more hurt and pain than anything. I myself wouldn't want to go through that hurt and pain, so why would I put someone else through it? Pure and simple.

If I date a female, then it's me living a straight lifestyle for as long as the relationship lasts. I can look at guys but that's as far as it goes. Likewise, if I'm dating a guy, it's a gay lifestyle, I can look at females and not touch. I am the one setting the rules and those rules go both ways.

Yes, it's easy to say that then turn around and cheat anyway but I am not that type of person and NEVER will be. I'd rather die than cheat on someone I care about. Thankfully, nobody has EVER cheated on me and I can tell you this right now, if anyone does in the future, I will make them regret it for the rest of their life.

I know, it puts me in the minority - of those with brains and know how to use them.

Nevertheless, I'm setting the record straight. I'm not like those promiscuous type of bi guys who think it's perfectly acceptable to 'break the rules'. It is absolutely NOT fair to lump ALL bi guys into that category (I'm talking to you, Soilwork). When I'm in a relationship, I don't break the rules - I define them and I make it perfectly clear what the rules are. It's my way or none at all. If for some reason, I want to bend the rules, it will be under discussion (I doubt this will ever happen and I will not lie or be deceitful in any way) and then the rules would change BOTH WAYS.

When you're in a relationship (unless it's an open relationship), obviously that relationship should mean something to you - and you should stay faithful to whomever you're with. I know I'm old-fashioned but that's where I stand.

XLeatherX: Thank you. I agree with your opinion 1,000%

 

[teh_nathan]

As others have pointed out (to Soilwork again) ....just because you may have had a few bad experiences with bi guys does NOT give you the right to make unfair generalisations about ALL bi guys. You do NOT know what ALL bi guys are like (have you met ALL of them?) so you absolutely CANNOT lump them all into the same category. It's completely unfair to do so.

Some of us (such as myself) actually have brains and know how and when to use them. It makes people like me look bad and I find that extremely offensive. You seriously need to reconsider your opinion. Let go of the past and learn how to deal with it. We all grow and learn from past experiences - allow yourself to do the same instead of harbouring negative feelings. Holding grudges, harbouring negative feelings and making generalisations are not the healthiest of things to do. So what, you had a few bad experiences - DEAL WITH IT AND MOVE ON.

 

[Soilwork]

When I date someone or when I'm in a relationship with them - REGARDLESS of male or female, I'm ALWAYS faithful to them. I've NEVER cheated before and NEVER will. Why? I don't see the point. It causes more hurt and pain than anything. I myself wouldn't want to go through that hurt and pain, so why would I put someone else through it? Pure and simple.

Apparently bisexual is a synonym for "Illiterate" because the gay guys keep going on and on about how it's got NOTHING to do with cheating and everything to do with the fact that most bisexual men (even here) go back and forth between wanting men and wanting women. Since we can only be men, we should stay away from people who will want women half the time.

I can only say it so many times, and you keep proving me right with constantly trying to change the subject?

you may have been faithful whie you were with both men and women, but you ended those relationships and went to the other sex, right?

THAT is what I've seen happen in virtually all of the relationships with bi men...

through no fault of your own, you're going to spend half the time wishing I had a vagina.