The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • Hi Guest - Did you know?
    Hot Topics is a Safe for Work (SFW) forum.

No fats or fems.

This is the norm on these ads and sex sites.

People are usually really upfront. I don't really care. It doesn't bother me, but what does is when someone has their body type listed as muscular, athletic or average and they are far from it.
 
I think your friend is being insensitive. People who are fat or feminine may be offended. Maybe the wording could have been much nicer and polite.
 
Seriously, though. This is the internet. If overweight or feminine guys aren't used to trolls or dickheads who don't have an internet filter, then they should seriously go back to web browsing 101.

The guys who say "no fats or fems" wouldn't have the balls to say it in person most of the time. The internet is giving them a very effective mask.

Who cares?

Let it go. They're loss.
 
omg! I can't believe I let myself do that!

I am so ashamed! *bows head*
 
Now I'am not sitting here eating a Big Mac and fries. and feeling sorry for myself. But I've lost over 70lbs so I know what it's like to be fat and gay. It sucks when you feel your not accepted for who your are.
 
Elegant-Perverse said:
Yeah yeah, hurray for (blunt) honesty. But if you really want attention that isn't cookie cutter, there are so many other things you can say.

So many people are so negative about it, so i'm with NaughtyArousal - how about someone say what they want for a change and leave the negative "no fats, no fems, no whites(i'm in metro GA, this happens more often than the reverse)" out?
Click to expand...

Granted, this is begrudgingly so, but YOU of all people opposed to blunt honesty? Even on a situational basis? What have I missed...

Hmm...




On the note of "blunt honesty", that shit is overrated. When did "blunt" and "honest" become inseparable qualities? You (epicene) get more flies with honey than vinegar.

If somebody is doing you the favor of looking at your input, you can do them the favor of NOT being a fucking dick. Many of the same people who claim they "keeps it real" have hissy fits when somebody turns that shit around on them.

Guy ranting about fat people being unmotivated = case in point.

Even if you are right, saying something without phrasing it nicely will almost never have the desired effect of fixing the problem. We humans are a defensive breed that is subject to dismissing anything perceived as an immediate threat to the ego.

People like House and Sue Sylvester are fun to watch, but I'm fed up with people trying to emulate that shit to be "unique" and "edgy". Chances are, if you are emulating a sitcom/drama archetype... you are not that unique, you will never be that unique, get the fuck over it. Shut up and enjoy your comfortable sameness.

To OP: I for one approve.
 
You shouldn't really take offence, it is just a personal preference. Its the same as "not into twinks" or something. This avoids him getting messages from numerous people that he wont find attractive and then having to either ignore their messages OR message them explaining they aren't his type. He could list the types of people he IS into, but I'm sure this would result in a much larger list.
 
In addition to my comment, though I never do ads or anything, if I was to do so- I would never put that kind of statement in it.
 
figjam said:
I agree. Fat people should not be allowed out the house till they loose at least 100 pounds each.
Click to expand...

307623.jpg


:rolleyes:
 
Well I'm neither fat (gaining weight is horribly difficult for me) or fem, but if I saw that on an ad, I take it as something indicative of his personality --a personality that I might not like too much.

I'd just move on....
 
I have dealt with a lot of the "no fats" part for a while. I used to take it personally, but I now think it says more about the other person than about me. So I usually keep moving. I used to weigh a lot more than I do now, but apparently I am still not everyone's type anyway. Some people think I look handsome (I've been told I look like Robby Benson or a younger Fernando Lamas); but one person a few years ago actually replied to an email I sent with this: he said "You're ugly". I thought about replying but decided against it since he probably wouldn't read it; even if he did, it wouldn't change anything. Moving forward.

I do have some people who like me and we play around when there is time and availability.
 
When you place an ad or write a profile your doing it to get what you want, and you dont want to waste too much time on guys you're not interested in.

I dont see that the wording changes much, weather you write "no fats" or "i prefer skinny guys" you're still likely to illicit disapointment from those who don't match your criteria.
 
Elegant-Perverse said:
^But you can see the difference between the two ways of writing it, can't you?
Click to expand...

People who react negatively to being excluded are still likely to react weather you sugarcoat it or not.

My profile states very clearly 21-39 years old. Yet i still get plenty of guys between 40 and 60 years old who hit me up, and get pissed off when i turn them down. Im assuming most people don't even take the time to read what you've written.

Though i don't bother making lists of what i want and dont want anymore, if im not interested i simply don't answer, they dont have to know that i think they're fat or ugly or too old. (though some creeps dont take the hint and message you every day for a year...)
 
There are civil ways to say this.

Some guys say they prefer in shape guys or height weight proportionate. For the other part they say they prefer masculine acting guys.
 
Ive found that any mention of masculinity and femininity tends to draw a lot of criticism from fem guys who view it more as a matter of phobia than preference. (Mind you some guys think drama, gossip and tears is a perfectly normal part of gay life while other guys can't stand it).
 
Well, on the one hand he's being upfront and blunt about what he (doesn't) want. There's nothing wrong with having a type.

On the other: There are far better ways to phrase those preferences without being offensive. Instead of saying "no fats" say "looking for trim, fit guys"; instead of saying "no fems" say "looking for masculine, straight-acting guys". And don't you dare start a flame war about the concepts of "masculine" and "straight-acting", this isn't the place for that; there are other threads you can burn to ashes. Point is: There are better ways to get what he wants across.
 
All I have to say is that while the gym-bunny may have a six-pack, I've got a keg.

Whose party is going to last longer?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top