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Not for the faint of heart or easily offended...

meh I just went searching for some jokes

How do you get a gay man to shag your girlfriend?
Shit in her cunt.

What's black and has 27 tits??
The rubbish bag outside the cancer clinic.

A bloke rings in sick to his workplace, His boss asks "How sick are you", To which he replies " well i`m in bed with my sister right now".

What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
 
Q: What's brown and sticky and found inside a diaper?

A: Michael Jackson's hand.



Q: What's brown and half-eaten?

A: The Pope's Easter Egg.
 
This is probably the sickest one i've heard so far. I told my friends to stop telling people the joke bcoz it's really offensive. but i just had to for this thread.


What's the difference between a jew and an apple pie?






Apple pies don't scream in the oven.



Save me a seat in hell. Coz i sure am goin there.
 
Remember this thread?? It's been a while but I thought I would revive it. :p

Q) What do you call an anorexic girl with thrush?

A) A Quarter-Pounder with Cheese.
 
vanman34 said:
What do you do...when a epileptic falls in your swimming pool?


Throw your wash in :lol:
Click to expand...
Finally a good one... oh and some about Helen Keller too.
 
Why do some women have PMS?
THEY JUST DO!


Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
 
Still made me laugh... my apartment in hell just turned into a penthouse.
 
Oh my god, all of the Hellen Keller ones cracked me up.

Did you guys hear the Terry Schiavo cookbook is coming out next year?
(Ok, not really a "joke" but a friend told me and I thought it was utterly discusting...yet quite funny, so shove it!)


Why Beer is Better Than Retarded People

Beer doesn't drool.
Beer stains wash out easier than drool.
You don't have to limit yourself to bisyllabic words in discourse with beer.
Beer doesn't cry if you forget it.
Beer never answers your phone.
Beer won't ask loud, embarressing questions in public.
If the head's too big on your beer you can blow it off.
If the head's too small on your beer you can get another.
Beer doesn't have to be sterilized.

Well, now I have an eternity of fiery torment to look forward to ^_^
 
These are all disgusting and extremely offensive jokes.







how do you subscribe to threads?





Keep it coming guys.
 
Q: What do 60,000 abused woman have in common?
A: They don't fuckin listen!

Q: How many faggots does it take to put in a light bulb?
A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Q. What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A. A Rape victim

Q: What do you get if you cross a nun with a computer?
A: A system that won't go down.

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A bitch who won't do what she's told.

Q: How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
A: It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

Q: What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ?
A: One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker

Q: How do you know a female bartender is mad at you?
A: You find a string in your bloody Mary.

Q: What do you call a Gay Dinosaur
A: Megasorass

Q: What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur
A: Lickalotapus

Q: What’s green and melts in your mouth.
A: A leper’s cock!

Q: What is the difference between a drug pusher and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart?
A: Straight through the rib cage.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.

Q: What do gay men refer to haemorrhoids as?
A: Speed bumps.


And following the recent problems in London........................


bombtech.jpg



Stew




 
i really diddnt get this...

1/What to you call a man with no arms & legs in a corn field ?
Russell
 
why do women have legs?





















so they don't leave slug trails when they cross the room.:D
 
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Please be advised that your Optirectomy operation is scheduled for 8:00 a.m.[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The purpose of this operation is to sever the cord that connects your eyes to your rectum and, hopefully, get rid of your shittty outlook on life. It has been noted that you have been in less than perfect humor lately. [/font]
 
A Catholic priest and a rabbi were walking down the street together. Passing a boy's school, the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Wanna go in and screw some boys?"

"Out of what?" the rabbi asks.
_______________

Why was the prostitute angry with the leper?
He left her a tip.
_______________

A pitcher in a baseball game noticed a very attractive dark-haired young woman in the stands who was sitting with her knees rather wide apart. But from that distance, he couldn't tell if the woman was wearing black underwear or if it was her pubic hair he could see under her skirt. He signaled to the catcher to come to the mound.

"Go see if that girl over there is wearing black panties or if that's her pubic hair," the pitcher says to the catcher; the catcher walks over closer to the woman, then suddenly turns and runs off the field toward the locker room.

Curious, the pitcher calls the first baseman over and asks him to go check out the girl and see if she's wearing black panties or not; the first baseman heads over to the stands, takes one look at the girl, vomits, and runs off the field.

Burning with curiosity now but unable to leave the mound, he calls the first-base coach over and asks him to check the girl out. The coach walks over and takes a look, then suddenly vomits just as the first baseman had done; but instead of running away, he manages to stagger back to the pitcher's mound.

"So is it panties or pubes?" the pitcher demands.

"Flies!" the coach whispers before fainting.
____________
(*p*)
I have to go bathe now.
 
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