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Paris Hilton Headlines You'd Like To See

"Paris Hilton donates her money to charity and becomes a Nun"

"People healed when Saint Paris touches them"

"Paris Hilton is the new Mother Teresa"
 
Paris Hilton finds lump in breast

Doctors confirm malignancy and multiple metastases.
 
Paris gets really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in six months...box said 2-4 years

Trapped on escalator for hours....power went out..

Lost breast stroke swimming competition..discovered other swimmers cheated....they used their arms....

Got locked out her car in a rain storm..car swamped because the top was down..

Refuses to eat M&M's......to hard to peel...

Baked turkey for 4-1/2 days..instructions said 1 hour per pound...she weighs 108 lbs...

Discovered the instructions are wrong on the Kool_Aid package....That packet wont hold 8 cups of water....


(!) (!) (!) (!) (!) (!)
 
Paris Hilton is seen walking down the street with a deformed pig under her arm
When somebody asked "Where did you get that horrible thing?", the pig answered "I won her in a raffle"

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
 
Paris Hilton's new sex tape, gang-banged by 50 cent and all members of the G-Unit. She comments "I don't know what every's so upset about"
 
Paris Hilton reunites with long lost brother NEWBOY12.
 
OMG! I've got to stop reading these posts. They're not only hilariously addictive, I've also had to change my underwear twice.
BTW a local journalist--not unique in his predelictions, I'm sure--has been referring to Paris for a long time now as SWMNBN, i.e., "She Who Must Not Be Named" and Brittney as Pop Tart. Not as funny as what Jubbers have posted but quite to the point. No one has written in to complain. 'Nuff said. :badgrin:
 
Paris tragically died last night after friend told her to sniff the bottom of the pool!
 
Paris Hilton Eaten By Cannibals!
Three New Guinea men were rushed to a highlands hospital after consuming the flesh of uber-celebrity Paris Hilton. All three had been heaving badly for three days after the ill-considered repast.

Does anyone have the rest of this??
 
Clay Aiken bitch-slaps Paris Hilton in the mouth...

Clay to be honored at a special banquet....
 
Paris Hilton in Saw 4! (i like her and she be funny in it me thinks!)
 
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