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Paris Hilton Headlines You'd Like To See

Paris Hilton dies in tragic blowjob accident
"I told her to leave the Eiffel tower alone" says sister
 
PARIS HILTON - WHY WE HAVEN"T HEARD A SINGLE THING ABOUT HER IN THE LAST TEN YEARS

Lex
 
Paris disowned for hotel-room porn videos!
Father: "It's not the porn that I don't like, it's that she doesn't film them in Hiltons..."
 
Her real headlines are funny enough;

Monkeys and a goat at Paris Hilton birthday bash!

I'm sure I saw that somewhere.
 
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