POLL IT:- Straight-acting

[TX-Beau]

Well I kinda meant how boring it would be if we all looked like Irving the Accountant.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Well I kinda meant how boring it would be if we all looked like Irving the Accountant.

You're being wildly inconsiderate of people with a nerdy daddy fettish.

 

[TX-Beau]

If your ass gets grabbed in Austin, someone has stolen your wallet.

 

[TX-Beau]

You're being wildly inconsiderate of people with a nerdy daddy fettish.

I didn't say they had to go away, just that we NEED muscle bunnies in pink jockstraps and that group of guys who every year at Halloween went as Charlie's Angels.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I didn't say they had to go away, just that we NEED muscle bunnies in pink jockstraps and that group of guys who every year at Halloween went as Charlie's Angels.

Of course. You don't have any argument from me at all.

 

[eastofeden]

I didn't say they had to go away, just that we NEED muscle bunnies in pink jockstraps and that group of guys who every year at Halloween went as Charlie's Angels.

One night a pink bus pulled up to the bar and the door opened and one after the other Trailer Trash Barbie Drag Queens paraded through...each ordered a shot...then they paraded out. They got a standing ovation. I want to say they were my favorites but the Black Nurse Brigade and the Nuns on Roller Skates make it a three way tie for me.

 

[Rolyo85]

I do, however, like his second cousin...the straight guy who likes to have gay sex! If they are emotionally ONLY attracted to women but sexually they like to get it on with men and women...not even sure if that is bi or not?...they are right up my alley because I used to love it when the guy only wants sex and nothing else. I love it when I have a license to be emotionally unavailable and I don't have to make excuses for it. Are these guys actually "straight"? I don't know...or care...I take them at their word.... BECAUSE I love it when sex gets to be just about sex .....so they can call themselves whatever they want to

That's not a thing. If you want to have sex with men, then you do have the capacity for emotional connection too, and the reason you can't form it would be psychological and societal (as in, deep suppression of your actual sexuality, even if it's just bi), not sexuality-based. Just feel the need to point that out.

 

[TX-Beau]

I've heard of the legendary Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence!

 

[Rolyo85]

As for eastofeden's association of SA with (self)oppression, I have to agree. I have never met a SA-identifying guy who wasn't at the very least partially closeted. Almost without exception they "don't advertize their sexuality" (as they like calling it, as if I run around poking people in the eye with my rainbow flag) and make sure it doesn't come up in a conversation. They will only discuss it if asked directly (which - since they are so ssssssuper ssssstraight acting - they rarely are), but somehow that justifies them saying they aren't closeted, and they get offended if you suggest that yeah, they kinda still are.

 

[Rolyo85]

And to those who implied I am isolated in my gay cocoon - you jest, surely? I may live there and go to bars there, but I study and work "in the real world", I'm not a shot boy at a gay bar, or something...

 

[TX-Beau]

And to those who implied I am isolated in my gay cocoon - you jest, surely? I may live there and go to bars there, but I study and work "in the real world", I'm not a shot boy at a gay bar, or something...

You know what, we used to call WEHO the "Pink Champagne Bubble Floating above the Land of La," every gay guy should live in a ghetto for some period in his life, because it's the closest we will ever come to experiencing what straight people do everywhere else.

 

[eastofeden]

You know what, we used to call WEHO the "Pink Champagne Bubble Floating above the Land of La," every gay guy should live in a ghetto for some period in his life, because it's the closest we will ever come to experiencing what straight people do everywhere else.

Agreed...I basically only dealt with gay men for 20 years...every day...every night...tens of thousands of them. I loved it.

...and even today now that I am in the antiques business I am around gay men all the time. I am very comfortable and feel at home with gay men all around.

 

[xbuzzerx]

You know what, we used to call WEHO the "Pink Champagne Bubble Floating above the Land of La," every gay guy should live in a ghetto for some period in his life, because it's the closest we will ever come to experiencing what straight people do everywhere else.

This is possibly where other elements of identity come into play for some of us.

For me, I've HAD that exact sensation you're describing--- when I go to Hawaii, where I look just like everyone else there, and no one asks me about my background because I'm the norm.

 

[TommyPaine]

I suspect that would depend on the context and why you are asking them to "describe why you talk like that," (I would suggest you never ask a black person to explain themselves this way.) I GUARANTEE you that in a dating context they wouldn't themselves as "white acting." I am 99 percent sure that in no context would they ever represent themselves to other black people as "white acting," and if they did, I suspect that would result in massive derision that would make this look like a love in.


Plus they would piss people off and offend.

As others have pointed out, there are code words that mean "I don't talk or act like a stereotypical ghetto thug" - educated, white collar, Ivy League, etc. And we need need a similar word that conveys "I don't act like Jack from 'Will and Grace'" without making it seem that not acting like Jack is better than acting like him.

To your later points - I find that guys who describe themselves as "masculine" or "straight acting" have a 50/50 chance of actually being accurate. Have met enough where you are thinking "on what planet are you straight acting."

The flip of that (and we've all known one or two) is the flamboyant gay man... who turns out to be a married heterosexual. He's "straight acting" too. On several levels

 

[Rolyo85]

As others have pointed out, there are code words that mean "I don't talk or act like a stereotypical ghetto thug" - educated, white collar, Ivy League, etc. And we need need a similar word that conveys "I don't act like Jack from 'Will and Grace'" without making it seem that not acting like Jack is better than acting like him.

To your later points - I find that guys who describe themselves as "masculine" or "straight acting" have a 50/50 chance of actually being accurate. Have met enough where you are thinking "on what planet are you straight acting."

The flip of that (and we've all known one or two) is the flamboyant gay man... who turns out to be a married heterosexual. He's "straight acting" too. On several levels

But your examples are not at all comparable to "straight acting". Being Ivy League in NO way brings ANY thoughts of ghetto thugs. In fact, almost nothing I can think of, would make me think "oh, he's not a ghetto thug"... On the other hand, "SA" is directly "not gay". And why would you even need to say you are not like Jack from Will and Grace? I mean, if it isn't obvious from one look, then you probably ARE like him

 

[blackbeltninja]

And to those who implied I am isolated in my gay cocoon - you jest, surely? I may live there and go to bars there, but I study and work "in the real world", I'm not a shot boy at a gay bar, or something...

Since this was me, I'll reply directly: No, I don't jest.

I think it is very easy for all of us to assume that our own situations could easily be relived and successfully mimicked by someone else whose own circumstances are less than ideal, "if only they tried a bit harder, like we do." This is not always the case; your very existence is "gayer" than mine because of the neighbourhood where you live and hang out, and thus is subject to very different interactions and producing a different* experience which is not always a one-size-fits-all one.

As a result, and right or wrong on my part, I take a lot of the pronouncements from you guys with an entire bag of salt. And yes, I'm going to call them pronouncements because you guys do come off as though you've been appointed as the Guardians of Gay** and the rest of us should shut it and do as we're told.

-d-
*Different. Not necessarily a better, nor more correct, way of living. Just different.
**among other things

 

[bankside]

Since this was me, I'll reply directly: No, I don't jest.

I think it is very easy for all of us to assume that our own situations could easily be relived and successfully mimicked by someone else whose own circumstances are less than ideal, "if only they tried a bit harder, like we do." This is not always the case; your very existence is "gayer" than mine because of the neighbourhood where you live and hang out, and thus is subject to very different interactions and producing a different* experience which is not always a one-size-fits-all one.

As a result, and right or wrong on my part, I take a lot of the pronouncements from you guys with an entire bag of salt. And yes, I'm going to call them pronouncements because you guys do come off as though you've been appointed as the Guardians of Gay** and the rest of us should shut it and do as we're told.

-d-
*Different. Not necessarily a better, nor more correct, way of living. Just different.
**among other things

Though I must say if those *differences are a product of "circumstances less than ideal" then perhaps, necessarily, a question of better or worse after all.

 

[Kahaih]

It seems to me that one's 'circumstances' and/or 'location' can only be relevant to this conversation if we are to all agree that 'straight-acting' is nothing more than theatrics - a safety issue - a matter of survival - where 'straight-acting' is 'code' for 'on the down low', 'discreet', or "I'm able to blow you without blowing your cover".

 

[Rolyo85]

It seems to me that one's 'circumstances' and/or 'location' can only be relevant to this conversation if we are to all agree that 'straight-acting' is nothing more than theatrics - a safety issue - a matter of survival - where 'straight-acting' is 'code' for 'on the down low', 'discreet', or "I'm able to blow you without blowing your cover".

This. Actually.

 

[TX-Beau]

That has to be the oddest justification for SA. Where are these guys using this term that's not the gay community? Are there really that many phobes and parents on Grindr?

- - - Updated - - -

Since this was me, I'll reply directly: No, I don't jest.

I think it is very easy for all of us to assume that our own situations could easily be relived and successfully mimicked by someone else whose own circumstances are less than ideal, "if only they tried a bit harder, like we do." This is not always the case; your very existence is "gayer" than mine because of the neighbourhood where you live and hang out, and thus is subject to very different interactions and producing a different* experience which is not always a one-size-fits-all one.

As a result, and right or wrong on my part, I take a lot of the pronouncements from you guys with an entire bag of salt. And yes, I'm going to call them pronouncements because you guys do come off as though you've been appointed as the Guardians of Gay** and the rest of us should shut it and do as we're told.

-d-
*Different. Not necessarily a better, nor more correct, way of living. Just different.
**among other things

Oh please. That's all you get because that's that ridiculous.