POLL IT:- Straight-acting

[TX-Beau]

It means with all due respect to Rolyo personally, that someone living in a gay neighborhood is free to make a ruleset or a Bible on how to be gay, and it may or may not translate very well into practical reality for people in different parts of the country.

I did not read it as a personal attack on Rolyo, the point itself was valid. "I'm going to force people to recognize that I am gay" sounds great and proud, as one made-up example. It could also get you beaten up or worse. And you're from Texas, I'm sure you know this as well as I do. (At least outside Austin, lol.)

I've lived in both and I guarantee you nothing is different in the Bible belt with respect to this argument.

COP OUT argument. I currently live in the bible belt and grew up a redneck so I can say that!

 

[xbuzzerx]

LOL - like the massive whine fest about "HOW IIIIIII FEEEEEELLLLLLL!"

I find it funny that you are apparently unable to distinguish between what happens on a net opinion board and that "real word" you seemed so fond of, explains a lot actually.

Plus I guarantee you, most people don't give a fuck. Half of this is whiners whining about not wanting to be faggots, some shit stirring, some arguing just for arguments sake, a few actual guys who mean well, and a shit load nothing.

Such is life on the net.

What's ironic is that almost this entire tirade could be directed against the people who got so upset about the word.

It all depends on your perspective.

 

[TX-Beau]

Unless maybe it's that a lot of guys who live in the Ghetto call themselves SA, just never come out down here and just stick to straight.

- - - Updated - - -

What's ironic is that almost this entire tirade could be directed against the people who got so upset about the word.

It all depends on your perspective.

The people who got pissy and defensive were the guys using the word.

 

[TX-Beau]

BTW how many of those guys who live in places like WEHO do you think actually grew up there? Where did they come from?

 

[xbuzzerx]

BTW how many of those guys who live in places like WEHO do you think actually grew up there? Where did they come from?

This same logic is employed to argue that what the wealthy say about all the rest of us is valid.

 

[TX-Beau]

Yes, but no.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Yes, but no.

Oh. Well okay, then.













Am I doing this right?

-d-

 

[TX-Beau]

Oh. Well okay, then.


Am I doing this right?

-d-

Well you certainly seem to be wearing your pointy hat.

 

[TommyPaine]

It's not only a gay problem: I have a (straight) black friend who is constantly told that he "doesn't seem black" because he's a white collar professional who speaks standard English. Or even better "I didn't realize you were black over the phone"

So same issues: he doesn't say "yo homie!" over the phone and he doesn't sound black, I don't shriek "fabuluous!" over the phone and I don't sound gay. In both instances everyone knows just what is meant, but the meaning is not particularly flattering. Even something seemingly benign, like "you don't seem like a Southerner" carries the implication that "you don't come-off like an ignorant redneck"

So "you don't seem gay" is a negative judgement of sorts.

On the other hand, we all know what "straight acting" is supposed to mean. And why someone would want to use it on a site like Grindr. Several others on here have already put it out there: it means "strangers would not assume I was gay."

We need to find a word or phrase that conveys that without making it seem that the opposite is somehow a negative.

Easier said than done.

 

[xbuzzerx]

It's not only a gay problem: I have a (straight) black friend who is constantly told that he "doesn't seem black" because he's a white collar professional who speaks standard English. Or even better "I didn't realize you were black over the phone"

The comparison occurred to me as well. Black people will accuse black people like your friend of "trying to be white." Even if that's just how they talk.

 

[TX-Beau]

And yet they aren't self identifying as "White Acting" are they, so, no.

 

[xbuzzerx]

And yet they aren't self identifying as "White Acting" are they, so, no.

No but how would they describe how they talk? "Professional"? "White?" "Articulate?"

Any of them could be taken offensively.

 

[TX-Beau]

I suspect that would depend on the context and why you are asking them to "describe why you talk like that," (I would suggest you never ask a black person to explain themselves this way.) I GUARANTEE you that in a dating context they wouldn't themselves as "white acting." I am 99 percent sure that in no context would they ever represent themselves to other black people as "white acting," and if they did, I suspect that would result in massive derision that would make this look like a love in.


Plus they would piss people off and offend.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I suspect that would depend on the context and why you are asking them to "describe why you talk like that," (I would suggest you never ask a black person to explain themselves this way.) I GUARANTEE you that in a dating context they wouldn't themselves as "white acting." I am 99 percent sure that in no context would they ever represent themselves to other black people as "white acting," and if they did, I suspect that would result in massive derision that would make this look like a love in.

Plus they would piss people off and offend.

No. As I already said there's other code that gets used. "Professional." "Educated." "Career oriented." "Articulate." All of which is offensive if you assume the implication is that all white people are that way and black people aren't. But yes, you're right, and I'm glad you brought it up--- context is important. "I guess people consider me straight acting" vs. "I'm straight acting, don't be a femmie queen with rainbows" are two different contexts, aren't they?

 

[TX-Beau]

Context matters for everything (almost, in ANY context that Thor guy need to be riding my pole but I digress,) if you told me "people always think I'm straight" I'd probably not laugh at you outright, I'd just point out the Ball Gown you're wearing (because guys who really are that butch almost NEVER feel the need to point it out - it's obvious. Needing to bring it up is an INSECURITY.)

If you told me you're "Straight Acting," that's when the laughing begins because first and foremost no straight guy ever calls himself that, only us big ole faggots do, so yeah, contradicted yourself right off. LOL

 

[xbuzzerx]

Context matters for everything (almost, in ANY context that Thor guy need to be riding my pole but I digress,) if you told me "people always think I'm straight" I'd probably not laugh at you outright, I'd just point out the Ball Gown you're wearing (because guys who really are that butch almost NEVER feel the need to point it out - it's obvious. Needing to bring it up is an INSECURITY.)

If you told me you're "Straight Acting," that's when the laughing begins because first and foremost no straight guy ever calls himself that, only us big ole faggots do, so yeah, contradicted yourself right off. LOL

That's okay. I laugh at people when they tell me they're from Austin and that their city is much better and more progressive than mine.

We all have our own perceptions of how we see ourselves and others.

 

[eastofeden]

On the other hand, we all know what "straight acting" is supposed to mean. And why someone would want to use it on a site like Grindr. Several others on here have already put it out there: it means "strangers would not assume I was gay."

.

That is the tricky apart for me...we all might have completely different subjective interpretations of what it means.

When I hear the term...I think the guy will suck the life and joy and color out of me and everything and everyone around him. Not because he is "straight acting"...whatever that means...but because he is oppressive. If he is that oppressive toward himself he will be oppressive toward me and everyone else. I would dread being the "normal regular" guy to his "normal regular guy". He would actually be an example of my nightmare guy...or one of them. I have a few.

I do, however, like his second cousin...the straight guy who likes to have gay sex! If they are emotionally ONLY attracted to women but sexually they like to get it on with men and women...not even sure if that is bi or not?...they are right up my alley because I used to love it when the guy only wants sex and nothing else. I love it when I have a license to be emotionally unavailable and I don't have to make excuses for it. Are these guys actually "straight"? I don't know...or care...I take them at their word.... BECAUSE I love it when sex gets to be just about sex .....so they can call themselves whatever they want to

 

[TX-Beau]

That's okay. I laugh at people when they tell me they're from Austin and that their city is much better and more progressive than mine.

We all have our own perceptions of how we see ourselves and others.

When I moved to WEHO, I thought that I'd be moving to Gomorrah, and there'd be naked go go boys dancing on my lap 24/7 while they poured the wine down my throat.

First impression was how small WEHO was, then what were all those Russian Jews doing there, then hey, these strippers really suck and a beer costs WHAT!

LOL soooo disappointing. Not really, I did kinda think all of that but WEHO has it's graces. It's not really at all what people think it is for the most part - only in that it partakes of the general LA-ness of SoCal.

What did surprise me was the money culture of the entertainment industry. I DID think that it would be progressive like Austin, but WEHO's "progressive" is cosmetic not political.

A friend said to me once that if I was looking for people with opinions I should move to the bay area. I probably would have hated that, though.

I like all the ridiculous things we fagots get up to, the color, the snobbery, the closeted UCLA soccer guy hiding in the corner. I like Drag queens and guys who are just Joe. I even like the ridiculousness of the SA part of us. I don't care how many precious "distinctions" people make, we are a community, still.

I didn't used to, I used to be one of those guys that wanted all the queens to stay home from the parade - until I realized that there is no parade without the 3 foot purple bouffant and the be-glittered 8 inch platform heels. The go go boys in lamee jockstraps tossing condoms to the crowd.

If the people I was afraid to be associated with back then had all stayed home - there would have been no parade, just a bunch of guys walking down a street.

 

[TX-Beau]

And how boring is that?

 

[xbuzzerx]

And how boring is that?

It wasn't boring. I would never say any post I've read by you is "boring." They're always colorful even if I don't like them.

I know what you mean about WeHo; I haven't spent inordinate time there but of course I've been there. Sometimes what's surprising about it is how "not like the mental image" it looks and is... and then someone on the sidewalk grabs your ass.

I STILL don't know who that was. Turned around and it was just a crowd of people going every which way. lol.