On a dating site, it is especially useful for one. It cuts straight to the point. Masculine is not satisfactory enough a word to use, as this fails to adequately distinguish between behavioural and physical traits. I.E. bears and scallies are both masculine physically, but not necessarily in their mannerisms.
I don't use dating sites i might add, i'm guessing.
And yet most guys manage without it, to great success. I DO use dating sites, so I am not guessing. Like I said, in Chicago pretty much nobody uses that term, and people still get laid and find dates. Which is neither here nor there of course.
This may be true. Its worth noting however, based on a post in the other thread, that you say you wear a rainbow bracelet so that people can tell you are gay. So, it does occur to you to actively identify yourself as gay. For me, i don't feel the need for that. I could be wrong, but i get the feeling that your gay identity is far more important to you, than mine is to me. If that is the case, it can't hardly surprise me that we take very different attitudes towards perceived homophobia ('that's so gay' being one other example we have opposed views on).
Oh, absolutely I care about people knowing I'm gay. I want to know where I stand with everyone from the get go. I have no time for 'phobes and I want to know who they are before I waste life on them. Of course, I am in a field where nobody cares if you are gay - classical music - so it is also not a huge risk for me. Though I can't help but wonder why people deliberately put themselves in work fields that are ultra conservative and homophobic... Like, isn't your personal happiness and the ability to live free of fear and hiding more important than any one particular job?
As for "that's so gay", I didn't remember we had opposite views. That makes me sad, I'd think that one at least is beyond argument...
This annoys me greatly that you insist that straight-acting is colouring everybody else as being stereotypical. That is not what the statement is conveying. The statement is essentially making note that SA guys are not femme, and that this label is useful when describing ourselves to others in relevant situations. Please don't be under the misguided perception that SA guys make a point of how they identify. Its gay first, SA later (if relevant).
Your position as being concerned that it makes the majority of gays look like the crazy rainbow caricature you mentioned, has me wondering WHY should you be concerned? There's nothing wrong with that gay type, they are just at the opposite end of the spectrum to SA guys.
And, i might also add, that you do not seem to care that the stereotype of the colourful character is reinforced in any measure by the femme half of the community, so why is it one rule for femmes, and loathing for SA's???
The double standard is such only on the surface, and it goes into a tangent of what "persecution" is and what "discrimination" is, that was touched on a little in the last page of the other topic. People tend to dub ANY negative attitude as discrimination. And technically it is, but the question is - how harmful and deep it goes. Femme guys are persecuted EVERYWHERE. They are persecuted by straight people for their obvious "gayness", and they are persecuted in the gay community, because despite stereotypes you "SA" guys have, MOST gay men are not that feminine, and a LOT of them do not like femmy guys. If you go on Grindr, you won't find a whole lot of "straight acting" where I am, but you will find a LOT of "no fems". Which is sad, and it sucks, but it's a different discussion. My point however is this - "straight acting" guys DO NOT face the type of overwhelming discrimination that fem guys do. Sure, you get hated on by some of us who see more into the term than you do, but you don't get any fire from straight people (not more than the usual homophobia if they learn you are gay), and you have a whole big field of dudes who either identify like you or don't care enough to be bothered and hey - you're masculine, so you're right up their alley.
That would be why fem guys get what you perceive as a "free pass" on promoting their behavior, and you don't. Because for many of us your attitude is part of the problem that THEY are having, even though you don't mean it to be and you don't do it on purpose.
I know you disagree, and I'm ok with that. Also, I appreciate your tone here.
