POLL IT:- Straight-acting

[xbuzzerx]

It seems to me that one's 'circumstances' and/or 'location' can only be relevant to this conversation if we are to all agree that 'straight-acting' is nothing more than theatrics - a safety issue - a matter of survival - where 'straight-acting' is 'code' for 'on the down low', 'discreet', or "I'm able to blow you without blowing your cover".

That wouldn't be the correct conclusion given that this topic has run something like 16 pages in total and this only came up on the last 2 or so. The topic of differentials in backgrounds came up with regards to a discussion centered around an assumption of one correct way to embrace one's sexuality, with anything else being repression. It actually wasn't entirely relevant to the term itself. It could have just as easily been about "gay PDA's" or any number of other topics.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

3. This needs re-iterating unfortunately, its straight-acting, NOT acting straight.

I don't even.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Also, why not just say average joe, or you're an average guy?

 

[xbuzzerx]

Also, why not just say average joe, or you're an average guy?

It's the same predicament as was discussed somewhere in the last page or two. Anything you use is open to offensive interpretation. "Normal?" "Average?" What, so you're saying more obvious gay guys aren't? /handonhip.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

It's the same predicament as was discussed somewhere in the last page or two. Anything you use is open to offensive interpretation. "Normal?" "Average?" What, so you're saying more obvious gay guys aren't? /handonhip.

If straight acting means average, then whoever finds it offensive would still find it that way since you're only calling an average joe by a different name.

 

[Rolyo85]

It's the same predicament as was discussed somewhere in the last page or two. Anything you use is open to offensive interpretation. "Normal?" "Average?" What, so you're saying more obvious gay guys aren't? /handonhip.

That's a cop out. Everything might be open to offensive interpretation but that doesn't mean everything is equally open to such. And some things have the offensive interpretation inbuilt.

 

[TX-Beau]

Ok. I'm breaking my 'last post on this issue' post.

Some dumb comments have been made for me not to be able to ignore them.

1. Whoever said 'straight guys don't refer to themselves as straight-acting, so why should SA's?'. The reason is, because its a GAY term. It'd pretty stupid for a straight guy to be identifying himself with a term that in part says, 'i'm gay'. What a dumb-ass comment.

2. This leads me to the repeated assumptions that SA guys must be insecure, or partially closeted. Whilst this may very well be true of some such guys, it doesn't stand up to scrutiny. You can argue all the 'in my experiences...' all you want, but there are other people with just as valid 'other' experiences. For example, i came out to friends when i was 18, and to my family when i was 21. At the time i was 18, i knew a guy who was 24. There was no way that you wouldn't at least suspect his sexuality as soon as you spent a few moments talking to him, yet was he out of the closet?? Only to his friends.
Just because SA guys may not talk about their sexuality to all and sundry, doesn't mean they aren't out. My friends, my family, my workmates, some acquaintances, and some random people who've seen my profile on Facebook all know i'm gay. They are the people that it matters to me to know. I don't wear a rainbow bracelet, that don't make me or any other SA guy automatically in some kind of self-exclusion zone from being the people we are.

3. This needs re-iterating unfortunately, its straight-acting, NOT acting straight.

4. If you accept at a base level, that all men are masculine, by virtue of their gender identity alone. Anyone who uses the term 'femme', are identifying themselves as having much more feminine qualities, in perhaps appearance as well as mannerisms, whereas 'camp' would potentially identify a masculine looking guy, but with feminine behavioral traits. A 'butch' guy is identifying himself as being ultra-masculine. SA guys are identifying themselves as being an average joe in terms of masculinity. In this sense, since the average joe of any male is typically heterosexual, it is not unsurprising that the term 'straight-acting' has developed to describe a man who has typical levels of masculinity but who is otherwise gay. Masculine can be considered to suffice in identifying non-feminine, but if we are going to use terms to clarify what level our masculinity we are, just like femme guys do, its obscure to say masculine, because as men, that's to be assumed. Does masculine mean you're not feminine, or does it mean you happen to like leather a lot, and have a freddy mercury tache? It clarifies only one point.

MARY!!!!!!!

Where have you been? I was getting worried. Sooooooooo…………

If "straight acting" is not acting straight(WE AGREE WE AGREE!), why use the term at all? POOF (entire ridiculous self-justification vanishes in a puff of logic.



Oh Come on, SA IS supposedly “acting” like a straight guy, ‘cause they’s not femmy faggots ya know, that’s why you call it SA.

Thanks needed a really good laugh. Though I suppose since you admit that straight guys don’t act that way, you have conceded the argument that it’s a bogus term.

As has been point out why not just use AJ (average Joe?)

Because your SA ass doesn’t want to be mistaken for a “faggot” that’s why. You do yourself or your “cause“ no favors with reams of logically unsound – but very amusing – rambling.

5. Your assumption relies on the premise that SA's aren't being true. It was suggested, in a roundabout way, that in fact, it could very well be the stereotypical gay that is exhibiting the theatrics, and that through socially acquired behavior, it is he who may not be true to himself, though without willful intent. By Rolyo living in an exclusively gay neighborhood, its not unreasonable to assume, like blackbelt, that he has a slightly skewed view of how gay guys are when they are being themselves, and that anything contrary to that must be irregular. How regular is a gay neighborhood??

Plus the touchy nerves…..

You’re just that secure are you, why then do you care what anyone else thinks? Call yourself SA and be done with it. I'm still gonna snicker at you but hey, I'm just a "gay acting" queer who is kidding myself because I was forced by the ghetto to not be myself.

LOL.

Bitch, please.

 

[xbuzzerx]

If straight acting means average, then whoever finds it offensive would still find it that way since you're only calling an average joe by a different name.

That's exactly the point I made since almost the first page of the other thread. That dismantling this term itself was immaterial if what caused offense to people was the making of any form of distinction whatsoever in any context.

 

[Daximus]

Most people assume I'm straight when they meet me. It's just how I am and how I've behaved since I was a little kid. But I'm completely honest with them when they ask the right questions.

I don't feel some need to 'project' my gayness to the world around me. I'm also not afraid to let people know. Middle ground I guess, and I like it that way.

 

[Rolyo85]

Mitch. Your #2 is written under two false assumptions:

1. That being out is a binary system. It's not.

2. That being semi-closeted is a conscious decision and one is always aware that they're hiding being gay in certain situations.

 

[TX-Beau]

It's the same predicament as was discussed somewhere in the last page or two. Anything you use is open to offensive interpretation. "Normal?" "Average?" What, so you're saying more obvious gay guys aren't? /handonhip.

Oh come on. The whole "it just means average" is just cover for self-delusion. We all know damn well that if they "just meant" average, they'd say that like all those average gay men who say just that.

There is only ONE reason to use that particular term - and it's not because you're average, butch, masc, or what the fuck ever - it's because you want to identify as a straight guy.

"STRAIGHT acting."

See, there it is.

 

[TX-Beau]

Most people assume I'm straight when they meet me. It's just how I am and how I've behaved since I was a little kid. But I'm completely honest with them when they ask the right questions.

I don't feel some need to 'project' my gayness to the world around me. I'm also not afraid to let people know. Middle ground I guess, and I like it that way.

So you feel no need to "project your gayness," by admitting it apparently.


"...but but but I admit it when the ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS!!..."

Most of us have been there and understand (despite the Nancy boys in here insisting that their experience is just THAT unique no one could possibly relate or comprehend tier straight uniqueness (not really "straight" - just "regular" which is why they describe as straight) - but that is semi-closeted.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Oh come on. The whole "it just means average" is just cover for self-delusion. We all know damn well that if they "just meant" average, they'd say that like all those average gay men who say just that.

There is only ONE reason to use that particular term - and it's not because you're average, butch, masc, or what the fuck ever - it's because you want to identify as a straight guy.

"STRAIGHT acting."

See, there it is.

I think we're getting really hung up on one term when people use plenty of code to say the same thing... including "average guy", "typical guy", "down to earth guy", etc.

So the distinction you're saying is made really really clear between someone saying average and someone saying masculine or straightacting to me is not really so clear.

We've already been through multiple pages of saying that a gay guy saying he's this or that is not somehow trying to deceive people that he is straight, certainly not in the case of when he's looking for other gay guys on a personal site. There are guys on such sites flat out claiming to be straight and looking for sex with guys, and I think your criticism probably applies much more legitimately to them.

 

[TX-Beau]

BTW

Which one of you called it - that eventually the SA give themselves away slipping and saying that "straight," is synonymous with normal, and thus regulating non SA guys to abnormal? Irregular?

LOL, you should have put cash on it.

(Eastofeden I think?)

 

[Rolyo85]

Most people assume I'm straight when they meet me. It's just how I am and how I've behaved since I was a little kid. But I'm completely honest with them when they ask the right questions.

I don't feel some need to 'project' my gayness to the world around me. I'm also not afraid to let people know. Middle ground I guess, and I like it that way.

Case in point: "I don't need to project my gayness". Very few people do. Question. Is then, do you ever censor what you'd normally talk about or the words you use?

 

[TX-Beau]

I think we're getting really hung up on one term when people use plenty of code to say the same thing... including "average guy", "typical guy", "down to earth guy", etc.

So the distinction you're saying is made really really clear between someone saying average and someone saying masculine or straightacting to me is not really so clear.

We've already been through multiple pages of saying that a gay guy saying he's this or that is not somehow trying to deceive people that he is straight, certainly not in the case of when he's looking for other gay guys on a personal site. There are guys on such sites flat out claiming to be straight and looking for sex with guys, and I think your criticism probably applies much more legitimately to them.

If there is plenty of code why is there the need to use something that has been admitted not to mean what it actually says?

Because they don't WANT to admit it isn't "code" for a "bunch" of things but is in fact extremely specific.

 

[xbuzzerx]

If there is plenty of code why is there the need to use something that has been admitted not to mean what it actually says?

Because they don't WANT to admit it isn't "code" for a "bunch" of things but is in fact extremely specific.

You missed the point which is that people are using tons of terms that could be interpreted offensively while trying to say the same thing. It's not about this term.

 

[Rolyo85]

I think we're getting really hung up on one term when people use plenty of code to say the same thing... including "average guy", "typical guy", "down to earth guy", etc.

So the distinction you're saying is made really really clear between someone saying average and someone saying masculine or straightacting to me is not really so clear.

We've already been through multiple pages of saying that a gay guy saying he's this or that is not somehow trying to deceive people that he is straight, certainly not in the case of when he's looking for other gay guys on a personal site. There are guys on such sites flat out claiming to be straight and looking for sex with guys, and I think your criticism probably applies much more legitimately to them.

Do read my post addressing that. I know people are posting fast today but I only posted it a few mins ago...

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Down to earth is code for straight acting now?

 

[Rolyo85]

You missed the point which is that people are using tons of terms that could be interpreted offensively while trying to say the same thing. It's not about this term.

That would explain all the threads hating on "average" guys... Oh wait.