racist?

[bma1983]

Ah... well, if you want to read into my post as being racist, you're welcome to do so. Did I explicitly say that I found black people unattractive? Sorry, bud... you assumed that. You said it, not I.

Did I? It maybe just me, but when you say in the third post:

For me, I'm not attracted to black guys. They do nothing for me.

I'm going to take that to mean you find black people unattractive.

 

[bma1983]

Black men don't make my dick hard. Neither do fat men and old men. I don't think this makes me a racist.

Fat men and old men come in all different races. Black men are their own group.

I have a question for all those out there who feel they are not racist, yet still find black people unattractive. Is it only the dark skinned blacks you find unattractive. Or is your "preference" to not find blacks equal for dark skinned and light skinned?

 

[tx_doc]

I have a friend who is "not attracted to Asian guys". And then he'll see one guy that he thinks is hot who happens to be Asian... then he ammends his statement to "not attracted to Asians, except for .....". I ask him why even bother saying that you're not attracted to one type of guy if there's a possibility that there's going to be one guy that you like.

 

[bma1983]

So, if I said that women do nothing for me sexually that means I find woman unattractive? Come on, bud, I know you're smarter than that.

Oh, OK, I get you now, You find black women attractive, but not black men.
Oh, that's much better.

 

[bma1983]

I have a friend who is "not attracted to Asian guys". And then he'll see one guy that he thinks is hot who happens to be Asian... then he ammends his statement to "not attracted to Asians, except for .....". I ask him why even bother saying that you're not attracted to one type of guy if there's a possibility that there's going to be one guy that you like.

Good point.

 

[bma1983]

Haha... oh, man... clearly I gave you too much credit... oh well...

For me, I'm not attracted to black guys. They do nothing for me.

Your word not mine.

 

[probable]

what i don't understand is what you think about "black" guys with blonde hair and blue eyes. or "white" guys with thick lips or heavy bone structure. is "the rock" black? is tiger woods? what about sandra's husband on the cosby show? vin diesel? the answer will vary depending on who is asking them all, but in short, yes and no! could you tell one way or the other just from looking at them? would you want to group them all into one category of "unnatractive" just because of their heritage?

what makes statements like "i'm not attracted to black guys" racist is the fact that instead of being specific about what you don't like, you make a very vague generalization that is becoming increasingly useless.

what's telling is that i get more positive feedback when i tell people i'm latino than i do when i tell them i'm black. when i'm all black and not at all latino. but, since people don't have a strict concept of what "black" looks like, they can't judge me until after they talk to me. (i did this as a "social experiment" one summer. tell guys you're puerto rican and they give you their number and call you papi all night. tell them you're black and they dance a few songs and then disappear. i'm almost just as dissappointed that they even asked so often!)

As for people who compare it to not being attracted to chubby guys or hairy guys, these are more strict definitions. unlike if you said "i'm not attracted to guys who weigh more than 180lbs." (what if they're 6'4"?) or, "i'm not into guys with body hair" (what you expect them to shave their legs? and armpits?)

I think it's also interesting that the people who say their is nothing wrong with this form of racism are themselves practitioners. great, that's reliable.

don't be so quick to rely on "easy" and vague descriptions of people. say what you actually mean "i prefer fairer skin tones." would rule out both taye diggs and colin farrel. or maybe "blonde haired skinny guys really do it for me" okay, so no will smith and also no bruce willis. but, instead of being clear about what you like, you chose to exculsionary in the words you use to describe your likes and dislikes.

the fact that you even have to ask is a pretty good indication of your answer.

 

[bma1983]

I think it's humorous that you find the fact that just because I'm not particularly attracted to black guys that I have to find them unattractive. You obviously have a lot to learn about people in general.

It's okay, bma... *pats you on the shoulder* It's okay not to be attracted to a person, but still appreciate them as a person. Really, it's fine.

Don’t condescend me, OK.

I find it particularly interesting and odd that you would say a sentence like, "I don't find black guys attractive, but that doesn't mean I find them unattractive." I'm sorry, but to me, that makes no sense. You either find black guys attractive or you don't.

Can we be friends now?

I don't know. I have to think about it.

 

[bma1983]

what i don't understand is what you think about "black" guys with blonde hair and blue eyes. or "white" guys with thick lips or heavy bone structure. is "the rock" black? is tiger woods? what about sandra's husband on the cosby show? vin diesel? the answer will vary depending on who is asking them all, but in short, yes and no! could you tell one way or the other just from looking at them? would you want to group them all into one category of "unnatractive" just because of their heritage?

what makes statements like "i'm not attracted to black guys" racist is the fact that instead of being specific about what you don't like, you make a very vague generalization that is becoming increasingly useless.

what's telling is that i get more positive feedback when i tell people i'm latino than i do when i tell them i'm black. when i'm all black and not at all latino. but, since people don't have a strict concept of what "black" looks like, they can't judge me until after they talk to me. (i did this as a "social experiment" one summer. tell guys you're puerto rican and they give you their number and call you papi all night. tell them you're black and they dance a few songs and then disappear. i'm almost just as dissappointed that they even asked so often!)

As for people who compare it to not being attracted to chubby guys or hairy guys, these are more strict definitions. unlike if you said "i'm not attracted to guys who weigh more than 180lbs." (what if they're 6'4"?) or, "i'm not into guys with body hair" (what you expect them to shave their legs? and armpits?)

I think it's also interesting that the people who say their is nothing wrong with this form of racism are themselves practitioners. great, that's reliable.

don't be so quick to rely on "easy" and vague descriptions of people. say what you actually mean "i prefer fairer skin tones." would rule out both taye diggs and colin farrel. or maybe "blonde haired skinny guys really do it for me" okay, so no will smith and also no bruce willis. but, instead of being clear about what you like, you chose to exculsionary in the words you use to describe your likes and dislikes.

the fact that you even have to ask is a pretty good indication of your answer.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. You expressed your point way better than I ever could. You spoke what was in my mind.

 

[AggMan124]

wow, didnt mean for this to get into such a heated argument, just was trying to ask a question and see what people's thoughts were

 

[NongreasySweatproof]

what's telling is that i get more positive feedback when i tell people i'm latino than i do when i tell them i'm black. when i'm all black and not at all latino.

I can relate to this statement. I'm Chinese but have a hyphenated Chinese-Russian last name, because my mom's dad was an ethnic Russian (but a citizen of China), which makes me 1/4 European, if you count Russians as Europeans rather than Asians. It's not obvious to everybody, based on appearance alone, that I'm part European. I get lots of attention from men and women of all races, but whenever they hear my last name, people perk up and (women in particular) show more interest. This is not my imagination, or a once-in-a-while occurence, as I can't count the number of times this has happened. If you're not in a box, anything goes. But once people place you in a box, all of a sudden they think they know EVERYTHING about you, and their whole perception of you is moulded by that box.

Nowadays, there seem to be a lot of people with some kind of weird fetish for Eurasian people. When people hear my last name, it marks me as Eurasian, and automatically more desireable, even though . . . I look the same and am the same person regardless of what my last name happens to be. And I sure as heck can't speak either Mandarin or Russian with anything approaching fluency (especially not the latter), nor do I know much about the cultures. Oh sure, people might prefer the looks of certain ethnic groups over others, on average. But it just goes to show how much people's perceptions are shaped by what racial category they put you in.

 

[dkonfrost]

wow, didnt mean for this to get into such a heated argument, just was trying to ask a question and see what people's thoughts were

dont worry dude, folks on here just have strong opinions. i think it makes for great discussion!

 

[SilverRRCloud]

I am color blind. A hot dude is a hot dude.

I also see racism within the context of social discrimination.

Sexual attraction is by its very nature discriminatory. I have yet to meet a sane dude, who would find everyone under the skies, attractive.

When it comes to sex, I discriminate and so do most other guys.

I discriminate against women, older dudes, overweight dudes, other total top dudes, etc. This does not make me sexist, ageist, or anything else.

We need to draw a clear line between personal sexual preferences, coz they are what they are: personal and sexual and our social behavior, when it comes to jobs and housing, making friends, etc.

Just my 2 cents...

SC

 

[slobone]

^^^ What probable said.

I think it's silly to make flat statements like "I don't like this kind of guy" anyway. How do you know if you haven't met every person of that type? I thought I didn't like foreskins until I met this really hot uncut guy. Then I found out... that I still don't like them. But hey, at least I gave it a shot.

I think it's just healthier to have an open mind. Tell your friends, and yourself, "I don't judge people in groups. I'm only turned on, or off, by individual people. When somebody makes my dick hard, that's the person I want. If not, not. What's the point of making sweeping generalizations ahead of time?"

 

[ShadowCancer]

This is strange but im black and i love all types of girls, but i can never see my self going out with a black guy. :/. Idk know how to put this but i never went out with another black guy before since theres not alot of them around where i live.

 

[jockboy01]

I have a question for all those out there who feel they are not racist, yet still find black people unattractive. Is it only the dark skinned blacks you find unattractive. Or is your "preference" to not find blacks equal for dark skinned and light skinned?

First off.... I don't "feel" I'm not racist.... I'm not. You have to understand that it is a generalization. In general I'm not attracted to black people. That's different from saying they are unattractive. There are people who are attractive to many people but not attractive to me. It doesn't make them unattractive... just that I'm not attracted to them. There's a huge difference. And there have been black guys that I have found attractive.... just in general I don't. I know what I like when I see it. What rocks my cock does not make me a racist. It's just what I like.

 

[EddieHaskell]

I'm am really feelin' about half of the sentiments in this thread.....

In addition to some of the more astute posts in this thread, I would like to add/reiterate that people need to consider the motivations for their preferences. Black men are either vilified or fetishized among mainstream gay culture. Seems like there are too few people who look at black men any other way.

When I was in school, I got attention from ONE gay white dude. Any other time I went to the gay mainstream parties, I would just get stared at and ignored. I didn't like the same things the gay white folks liked -- I liked what straight black people at my school liked: hip-hop, parties where you danced instead of get wasted, and baggy jeans.

Now, five years after graduating from college, I can say that my mind is open to men of any ethnicity, but for a long while there I was like to hell with white dudes, cuz white dudes said to hell with me.

Now, on a more specific tangent.... I didn't like white guys because physically they weren't enough for me. I like full lips, big thighs, and big butts. I like full, rich skin tones. And I like curly hair and dreadlocks.

However, I could fall in love with anyone -- I've certainly dated thin dudes with no ass and black dudes with thin lips.... and I've gone out with white dudes. Never white americans, but they were white nonetheless.

Anyhoo..... yay, this was my first post.

 

[arc248]

I think that in order to be in love with someone, you have to be BOTH physically and mentally attracted to the other half. What people say about "looks don't matter" is all hypocrasy and BS. Of course looks do matter - YOU are the one who's going to wake up next to that person in the morning, and you do NOT want to be frightened.

Anyway, back to that racist issue. I think if you don't like dark skin, then you won't like blacks. It's the same case with the kind of eyes you don't like, the kind of lips, body, etc. Sometimes, people unconsciously prefer a certain look. So, if you don't find his physical appearance appealing, then there is very little chance of you falling in love with him. Friendship is a totally different story though.

If someone is not attracted to "bears", is he being politically incorrect of disliking over-weight people?

 

[wastingmymind]

yesterday a friend of mine called me a racist because i told them that i am not attracted to other races. i found this exteremly odd because i do not and never have thought of myself as a racist. i am a white male who is attracted only to other white males. my best friend is black and some of my other good friends are also of another race. am i just fooling myself, does being attracted only to one race make you a racist?

Is it a thing where you just don't like guys of a specific ethnicity or like my friend's case "He's hot. Too bad he's not black.

 

[bma1983]

First off.... I don't "feel" I'm not racist.... I'm not. You have to understand that it is a generalization. In general I'm not attracted to black people. That's different from saying they are unattractive. There are people who are attractive to many people but not attractive to me. It doesn't make them unattractive... just that I'm not attracted to them. There's a huge difference. And there have been black guys that I have found attractive.... just in general I don't. I know what I like when I see it. What rocks my cock does not make me a racist. It's just what I like.

If I was to say, "In general, I find white people ugly." what would that make me? I would say that makes me in some form a racist. Mind you, I don't believe it's on the same level as me saying, "I hate white people." But I still think it’s a form of prejudice. To me, saying someone (or a group)is generally unattractive is no different than saying someone (or a group) is generally ugly.

That's just my opinion. You're more than free to disagree--which I'm sure you do. But may I add, instead of generalizing a race, how about looking at each person individually.

If you haven't already, please read probable's words above.

Take care.