Saying No to Dating a Bi Guy ?

[blackbeltninja]

^Yeah, because you're married and that would be cheating.

-d-

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Does anyone want to place bets on how long this thread goes until it dies for a second time? My bet goes to page 12. Of course, it will rise from the ashes like the Phoenix later.

 

[altlover85]

It might die sooner than that. It depends on if Johann comes back or not. I think most of us have said our piece about this, but I am interested to know what other people think.

 

[altlover85]

Nice one!

 

[Purplebic]

This whole thread he is basing a group of people on bad experiences, stereotypes and assumptions. He's doing this which only help spread this kind of nonsense.

Most of the bisexuals in this thread would have us ignore our personal experiences and continue to get hurt falling for this type of guy. Worse still, the bi guys use the same defense as the gay community, though they conveniently leave out one important fact, we homos are going to take shit the rest of our lives for loving who we love, whereas bisexuals will always have the choice to pursue a nice conforming relationship, and would dare to take the same line as us in defending that.

That could also be construed as insulting.

 

[Purplebic]

How many times can you say, "I don't date bisexual guys?"

Parler pour ne rien dire.

 

[Purplebic]

“To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy.”
~Will Durant~

I think diplomacy went out the window halfway through the second page

 

[Purplebic]

So true!

But you have to admit, the mods wouldn't have let it get this far if they felt we were going in circles; For the number of people posting in this thread, there are so many more reading and thinking about it

 

[Lube]

I finally get it. There's more hope for a straight guy getting laid by a gay guy than a bi guy getting a date with a gay guy.

Yes, if you mean "straight" and "bi" (where the words in quotes are just convenient but false labels).

 

[blackbeltninja]

I'm not assuming anything.

What I concluded came from the things you wrote in your posts. And just because you weren't 'exposed' to such relationships does not mean that it does not exist, I've never met a guy who is bisexual. So that clearly means there is no such thing as a bisexual, if we go by your type of thinking. It's called being closed minded.

It is unfair for me to state that I don't think you're sincere but it's fair for you to judge a group of people based on your experiences? That this type of relationship doesn't exist because you you never experienced it. That's unfair. It's unfair to help spread a stereotype a group of people while being a part of a group of people that are stereotyped and treated as second class citizens as well.

Don't patronize me and pretend that you're the victim here. I didn't decide what you were thinking, my responses and conclusions come from what you posted. Don't try and spin this any other way. I'm not the only one who has a problem with what you're saying, so maybe you should consider that.

Mikami

I take my hat off to you.

-d-

 

[altlover85]

Mikami is assuming (very falsely) that I am choosing to hold on to those beliefs because I want to.

I am here to tell you that is based on a false premise.

If I DID change those beliefs, it would be because I saw a steady stream of healthy, long-term bi-gay relationships. Seeing this stream of good bi relationships would serve as a direct antidote to the other stuff I saw. One belief would hence be replaced by another, based on life experiences. Like we all do. About everything.

You've already heard of a few examples of these types of relationships on different threads (and perhaps even this one) but you seem to ignore them.

The trouble is, I don't think there'd be a way to be EXPOSED to those kinds of healthy bi-gay relationships. To be honest, I don't know of a single one; do you?

See my above point.

Continuing on, the reason I said I'm glad I'm not bi, Mikami, is because I wouldn't want to face the massive wall of mistrust that they have to face. Think about it: gays don't trust them, nor do women. Would you want to live that kind of life? I don't think you would, and I don't, either.

Some gay guys do trust them as do some women. Again evidence has been provided that you CHOOSE to ignore.

So yes, I'm glad I'm not bi.

Most of the bisexuals in this thread would have us ignore our personal experiences and continue to get hurt falling for this type of guy.

If you don't want to date bi guys, fine. I think the bi guys in the thread are trying to say there are decent bi guys out there though.

Worse still, the bi guys use the same defense as the gay community, though they conveniently leave out one important fact, we homos are going to take shit the rest of our lives for loving who we love, whereas bisexuals will always have the choice to pursue a nice conforming relationship, and would dare to take the same line as us in defending that.

What is this defense you speak of? Not every bi guy can just switch it off and date women. It's not always a 50-50 attraction.

From what I've learned about bisexuality so far, it is very complex and can mean various things. Some bi guys are emotionally attracted to one gender and sexually attracted to another. Some are equally attracted to both. Some are more attracted to one gender than the other. It's hard to put all of these people in one group, but we do it because society sees sexuality as binary because I think it's easier for most people to conceptualize that.

 

[altlover85]

Wait, what?

Is this a "bisexuality doesn't exist" rant on the horizon?

You're too defensive, Naughty. What I read from that comment was that some people use straight and bi as covers for being hiding the fact that they aregay. It doesn't mean all people do that.

I believe that, taking a tack in the middle, while the stereotype is quite true for many bisexuals, that it is not true for all.

This is progress.

This makes no sense, because on any given issue, a different set of ranges are presented depended on the people at hand, thus a different middle exists every single time.

I think he was being more general than you are.

Your argument is what most bigoted people like as a fallback tactic. If they fail in arguing discriminatory judgments, "meeting in the middle" gives them an excuse to hold on to some of their hate while appearing diplomatic. You already tried this in some of your anti-Islam arguments.

I'd rather they meet in the middle than remain totally stuck in their ways. You aren't going to change everyone's mind.

 

[fetaby]

^^Ummmm, but could you address his point? Can you explain your intolerance?

You say you have seen it over and over, so what. The sun rises and moves across the sky, it must be mobile to earth's station.

You can't admit that you do not/ can not fully know the dynamics of these strangers relationships, yet you race on like a horse with blinders.

While not terribly productive as far as the issue you're non-debating, it does provide lots of

 

[altlover85]

You're losing me, because I thought I was being general. Johann's theory is that the middle of any argument is where the truth lies. I don't see it that way, because of the multitudes of arguments that exist in the world. The middle of every argument can't be where you want to be.

I'm saying when we talk about arguments, we aren't talking about specific groups of people having the argument. I've always thought of the range of positions as the range that exists among most people, not a group by group basis.

Person A: Lets kill all fags
Person B: No. They're people like the rest of us
Person A: Lets meet in the middle.

No. How 'bout let's not meet in the middle. How 'bout person A go fuck themself instead. It's often the intolerant folks, after a failing argument, wanting to meet in the middle, because meeting in the middle means compromising tolerance.

I agree that Johann's middle argument doesn't work for every thing, but I think it does work for things like this. He's not advocating violence, he just won't date bi guys. Yes, he holds bigoted views, but he seems open to the evidence.

I was asking a question. And not one based on that excerpt so much as an underlying tone in many of Lube's comments.

I don't want to derail this post, but I'd be interested in some of these comments, so if you could PM me with where you have seen that tone.

@Atl, I have read accounts of those bisexual/gay relationships from time to time on this board.

The trouble is, a lot of the accounts really do defy credulity. In one case, the poster, I believe, is a sockpuppet. Another "bisexual" insists that he has a vast estate with houses and yachts.

If you could, PM me with names and quotes from these people.

Besides this, we all know anybody can be anybody on the Internet. I'm not really a German, even though I have a German screen name.

Right, but generally you wouldn't discredit what most people say on here as being lies. It just works with your manner of thinking in this instance.

And worst of all, those preconceived notions I developed were not based on anything I saw on the Internet, but real-life experiences. (If you think it's just me, please reread the entire thread; there are many!!)

If I saw real-life experiences that reflected successful bisexual-gay relationships, why OF COURSE I would be able to reassess my beliefs!

I can understand this.

I think I have already told you that I have come to the conclusion that the stereotype is true for some, but not all bisexuals. Until I see evidence suggesting the contrary, that's the way it stands.

I can also understand that position. However, I think you are just discounting evidence so that you can keep believing what you want to. There are probably other issues where if someone online gave you evidence through their testimony you would believe them and not doubt them.

The fact is you may never see a successful bi relationship, but that doesn't mean they don't exist.

 

[fetaby]

 

[blackbeltninja]

This is progress.

For you, perhaps.

For us... not so much, no.

No. How 'bout let's not meet in the middle. How 'bout person A go fuck himself instead. It's often the intolerant folks, after a failing argument, wanting to meet in the middle, because meeting in the middle means compromising tolerance.

Agreed.

-d-

 

[blackbeltninja]

From now on, I will address all my comments to you, because you seem to be the only sane one.

Google translate: From now on I will address all my points to you because you seem to agree with me in principle.

-d-

 

[Jersey Domino]

I really wish Bisexuals didn't get so much shit from people on the board.

I would like to say that I WOULD date a bisexual and that I have no problem with Bisexuality.

 

[jasoncrew03]

ATL, I forgot to address one of your points.

You wanted specific examples. Well, there's one JUBber who's very well known who once identified as gay, and now he says he's bisexual. Another one...a very nice person who's older....once identified himself as bisexual, and now he's calling himself gay. (Maybe he just doesn't want the bullshit.) I already told you that one supposed bisexual at JUB is supposed to have a vast estate with houses and yachts.

One of the JUBbers right here in this debate identifies as gay. I suspect that he's really bisexual, because he shows a level of anger over my opinions that really just doesn't make sense for a supposed gay guy.

There's a guy at work, in a LTR, is supposed to be a bisexual. If so, he's one the nelliests bisexual I've ever met, calling people "girlfriend" and walking with the biggest swish you ever saw. Another supposed bisexual I met, in a supposed LTR, was a man I caught in a bunch of lies almost right away. In fact, he got caught stealing at work, so they fired him. (Show me a liar, and I'll show you a thief, the saying goes.)

The whole point is that I don't have one single frame of reference to go by. Not one credible bisexual, in a long-term relationship, on which I can base a judgment in order to reassess beliefs.

I think that you, an intelligent man, can see the problem here.

Sexuality is a fluid concept, not a static one. It can change whenever (my attraction to men just happened one day in the mall).

I have never denied, for even one second, an intense hatred for Islam. I think it's the worst cockamamey Medieval religion on Earth. My hatred for Islam reaches no bounds, because I see it as victimizing a whole class of people.

This just reinforces every single persons account of your disgusting ignorance.

 

[altlover85]

Sexuality is a fluid concept, not a static one. It can change whenever (my attraction to men just happened one day in the mall).

I think many people would disagree that it can change "whenever".