Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

Sorry about that......I pressed send before I had checked over the typos but here's the pic to go with the post!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Nice to meet you Nicholas and that is precisely what you will be in about five seconds from now!

Knickerless Nicholas!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Good morning Chavs r us! Tracey speaking how can I help you!?"

"Look darlin' when I order a boy I don't expect to open the door and find a bloke who's just showered and smelling of Old Spice body spray!

When I open the door I grab him by the throat and push him down onto the settee. I whip his trainers off and expect the smell of his stinking socks to catapult me against the wall and give me the same sort of buzz that I'd get from sniffing cocaine!

When I yank his sweatpants down I expect the seat of his Calvin's to have a skidmark so fucking thick and deep that I can plant strawberries in it and expect a good crop!

I'm paying through the nose for boys with smelly arseholes so tell the next one to go easy on the toilet paper and shower gel!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Thanks for agreeing to help me out over the holidays Sir!

You know I failed all my exams and I need to get at least a pass in English and Maths!

I know you normally charge £30 a lesson but if I let you fuck the shit out of me after every lesson maybe we can call it a deal!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"OK you two I've only got half an hour for lunch!

My white van's parked just over there!

I think we agreed a bottle of whisky each but if you let me fuck you bareback I'll throw in a packet of fags as well!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"C'mon Sir you know you want me!"

"Of course I fucking want you but I daren't risk my career for shagging one of my students!"

"Do you think I'd dob in someone as nice as you Sir! You know you can trust me!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Fucking sniff 'em! Ive had these socks on for three days! If you think these are bad you wait till you get yer nose in my arse! My fucking skuns are welded to it! Mmmm!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"So you've missed the last bus and you want a lift home boys.....( but to who's fucking home!?)...OK jump in beside me! There's room for both of you!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Thanks for inviting me to your barbie boys! Didn't realise I'd be eating the sausages raw and you've definitely got the best mayonnaise in those low hangers of yours!"

"No worries mate! Glad you could make it but you can't leave without having dessert! It's chocolate ice cream!

Well just drop our pants, bend over and you can have as many scoops as you like!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"OK mate we've reached the end of the bus route and I've let you travel for free so now it's payback time!

Give us yer shitty skuns! I'm gonna wear them like a Covid mask then I can smell your shit while I'm fucking you! How hot is that!?

Now lie down on the back seat with yer legs in the air and I'll make sure that hole is nice and moist before I fuck ya!

I bet yer fucking feet stink as well!

There are some perks of being a bus driver!

You won't forget the day you got on the number 69 with no money! "

 

[Sniffademskidz]

'You can't walk down the street like that mate! You'll get arrested!"

"I fucking hope so! There's this young copper who's as horny as hell and I happen to know he's on duty at the station today!

Once he's got me in the cell, I'll wedge a chair up against the door and fuck the shit out of him!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Can't understand why I had to get dressed up in my best designer gear! We're only going to an auction !"

"That's right mate but this time you're the one being auctioned!

Everyone knows your cherry hasn't been popped yet and my builder mates are willing to pay well over the odds to have you!

Just think of it as an investment, helping to keep my business afloat and you in a job!

Now get in the fucking van!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

" Morning Mohmmed it's Jason from RENTBOYS here! You recently applied to be one of our escorts and we've looked through your portfolio which is very impressive but just one fly in the ointment!

Being a Muslim you don't eat pork and most of our punters will want you to wrap your kisser round their pork sausages!

We might be able to get round that if you were happy to take their pork sausages up the arse but would that be seen as eating pork too!?

I hate these technicalities!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Getting changed for the match Billy!?"

"Yes Sir! Hope you've had a good holiday Sir! I've really missed your cock!"

"And I've missed your buns Billy! How did you cope without me!?"

"Well my stepdad fucked me a couple of times when Mum went shopping!
Then we had the builders in for a couple of weeks and these two young studs took it turns to shag me during their breaks!
Then we had a week away in Magaluf and the Entertainments Manager in the hotel screwed me in his office while the wrinklies went on excursions!

When I got back home I was a bit desperate and was even tempted to train our pet Alsatian to.....
Well it didn't work so I had to borrow my stepdad's dildos!

"Good luck with the match Billy! I've left the car door open so just leave your match worn socks and pants on the passenger seat!

See you tomorrow!"

"Bye Sir!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"If you play poker with the boss and can't afford the stakes then you have to pay the forfeit!"

"What's the forfeit Sir!?"

"Stick your nose up that bloke's arse!"

"...but this is King's Cross Station Sir! Everybody will see!"

"Well either you do it or you will find your P45 on your desk in the morning and then how will you pay for your posh wedding!?

....and not just a quick sniff! I want you to get your nose wedged between his cheeks!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Hope you don't mind me working shirtless today mate but it's so fucking hot! I'm.on my own today 'cos my partner's off sick so I was just wondering if you could come up the ladder behind me and hand me one or two things while I'm up there!

If you're not too keen on ladders just keep your eye on what's in front of you and you should be OK!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Can't believe that kid's mine! I've always bin really careful and made sure I took you up the shitter each time to save money on rubber johnnies!"

"Yeah but you came home one night so fucking drunk you could hardly get yer trousers down and you stuck it in the wrong hole!

Good job you aint think of taking up golf!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Judging from the way you're looking at me I'm not sure whether you'd rather ride me or the bike!"

"I'll ride you both mate!

Just jump up behind me and I'll put the bike through its paces and then when we get to the woods I'll put you through your paces too!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"For fuck's sake mate! Not here on the pitch! Can't you wait till we get in your car after training!"

"What are you worried about!? Feet sniffing is the best known cure for a hangover!

Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it just as my nose is sticking to your feet! Mmmm!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Excuse me Sir I wonder if you would mind moving your feet as you seem to be encroaching on the space of the gentleman in the seat next to.you!"

"Hell no! Those feet smell great! In fact I was hoping that he might be persuaded to let me get a whiff of his arse as well!"