Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

"Your break finished ten minutes ago! Get back on the tractor!

"Yeah but ploughing that field all day is so tiring!"

"If you want a lesson in ploughing mate come with me over to those bushes and drop your knickers! I'll show you how to plough a fucking furrow!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"No fucking toilet paper for the second time this week!"

We're cutting down on luxuries in the economic crisis but it's all in hand!

We've managed to get a work experience boy from the local council estate who is happy to lick your arses clean after a dump! We're giving him a week's trial!

Once you've finished your shit just knock on the door and he'll come in and do the business!

Should save your wives and girlfriends having to take a scrubbing brush to your underpants on wash day!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"So you've given up cycling then Toby!? That's a pity cos you were really good at it!"

"I know but I only ever got to sniff the bicycle seats of my teammates when nobody was looking! Now that I've taken up wrestling I get to stick my fingers up the arse of my opponent and nobody bats an eyelid!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

First of all a very big thank you for attending the interview today for the post of RESIDENT ARSE CLEANER in.our company!

Now you boys have been shortlisted because your cvs indicate that you have considerable experience in arse licking both professionally and for pleasure!

We are trying to comply with a government directive for all companies to go "paperless "within the next decade!

For this reason toilet paper will become a thing of the past!

You will receive a text on your phone when your client has defecated and is ready to have his arse licked clean!

You will go to the toilets upstairs and you will be monitored according to three criteria

SPEED

THOROUGHNESS

CLIENT STIMULATION!

You will be informed by text whether you have been successful by 5pm this afternoon.

Thank you for cumming!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I might be modelling your latest colour -coordinated designer gear but my fucking arsehole is rank!"

"Yes mate! You don't have to tell me! I'm the cameraman and I can smell it from here!"

"So do.you fancy tickling my pink pucker with your tongue after the photoshoot!?"

"Just try and stop me! You're wearing black and blue and that'll be the state of your fucking sphincter when I've finished with you!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"That's a nasty black eye Ryan!"

"I know! I got a taxi home from pub last night but I didn't 'ave no money so taxi driver said he wouldn't charge me if I let him fuck me on the back seat!

Neither of us 'ad a condom and he wanted to bareback me but I said no and he punched me and barebacked me anyway!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I love chocolate but can't decide whether this is Cadbury or Galaxy!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Five fitty footies sitting on a wall!
Five fitty footies sitting on a wall!
Abd in just five minutes I will have had them all!
It gives new meaning to "I've just had a ball!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Ten brown bottles sitting on the road!
Ten brown bottles sitting on the road!
Now give us ten brown bottoms to dump.our fucking load
And that's our chav seed well and truly sowed!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This is what you call a " rose between two thorns!"

One two three four
Poke his pussy till it's sore!

Five six seven eight
You've just been fucked mate!
Ain't that great!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You've got to count to 100! It's all part of the game and you mustn't be put off even if you feel a nose or a tongue or even a cock running up the crack of your arse! If you stop counting you are disqualified!"

"OK! I'll try and remember that cos I like competitive games!"

( Thank God for chavs with only two brain cells but the best pair of buns you've ever had yer nose on!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Looks as if you've reached the end of the line young man which is a pity as you've expressed a desire to go all the way!

Maybe I can help you!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Hope you don't mind my asking but you've been in the bathroom a long time......unless of course you've got your head stuck in my dirty laundry basket......which is not unusual on a first date.....but why waste time in there when you can be sniffing what they ve been covering!?"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Had no idea this BACK TO WORK scheme would be so much fun!

So I do a few hours gardening for you at minimum wage but then you pay me double that if I let you sniff my feet and arse during the lunch break!

.....but I'm not allowed to tell the Job Centre about the sniffing bit!? Have I got that right!?

....and if leave my dirty pants and socks with you at the end of each day you'll pay for me to have a set of new fancy designer underwear!?

It's a deal mate! Not a word to me mates......well not yet anyway!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I began this thread on 27 August 2023 so a big thank you to all those who have visited and continue to do so!

However , what would really make ne happy is if some of you were able to add your own offerings to the thread! I don't want people to think that this is exclusively MY thread and I an the only one who should post!

I started the thread but it belongs to all of us so please please feel free to post!

Happy Chavving!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I'm sorry but you two gentlemen appear to be inappropriately dressed for the concert! May I see your tickets please!"

"No yer all right geezer! We've just come to test the electrical equipment here and then that dirty old cunt of a manager decided that he was going to test out MY equipment and me mate's as well!


Bent us over the table, pulled our knickers down and barebacked the pair of us!

He told us we could cum in free cos he just had!

No ticket mate but if you want proof that he's shagged us I can show you my pucker hole! It's still got some of his cum in it!"

"Thank you Sir! That won't be necessary! Enjoy your evening!"

 

[ausdude2010]

I fucking love all the posts in this forum and mix of chavs and arse stink/skids make it all worth the rad and wank!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Well you're a couple of ugly looking bastards but who cares about the state of the roof when you're poking the fire in the grate!?!!!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"So you've just arrived from Romania with nowhere to stay! Well you're in luck cos we've got one room left in the hostel! So you're brothers!? Yeah I can see the resemblance! You stick together through thick and thin! How sweet!"

( Well you'll be stuck together in a way you never imagined once I've got you safely booked in to room 69! Phwoar! Two for the price of one! My cock's throbbing!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You're not the only one with a pretty pink tongue you know but mine's gonna be a nice shade of brown in about ten minutes' time once I've licked ever drop of shit out of your arse!"