Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

"Actually the doctor told me that I wasn't supposed to bend over like this to take my shoes off in case the blood runs to my head which is bad for me but at least I know you are right behind me giving me all the support I need!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Even in these days of gender fluidity I don't think anybody could be in the least doubt that you are a BOY with the sort of tackle you're packing in them pants mate!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Back in the 1980s in Britain there was a gameshow hosted by Ted Rogers called 3-2-1 in which contestants were asked a number of questions and if they got the wrong answer their prize was DUSTY BIN!

Well I can only imagine the sort of questions one might have to answer to win one of these little beauties !

Not sure about DUSTY BIN but I'd be very happy with a MUSKY RIM as a consolation prize!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"They have been sitting on.that snooker table for ages grinding their smelly arseholes into the green baize!

Now the big dilemma for me is once they get up and move away how am I going to run.my nose along that heavenly strip of green baize without arousing suspicion!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"This is the weirdest B and B I've ever stayed at!"

"You've heard of Air B and B! Well this is Bare B and B!"

"It says in your prospectus that breakfast is served at 8am!"

"Quite right Sir and here it is! I am your breakfast Sir! A one man band! I can offer you cheese, chocolate, milk, cream, orange juice and if you dig deep enough you might be lucky enough to find some strawberry jam!"

"Any chance of having some bread with that!?"

"Certainly Sir! Just pull down my pants and hey presto the tastiest fluffiest white baps you've ever had your kisser round!

"Just tell all your friends about us and leave a five star review!"

"I'm not even going to ask what's on the menu for dinner!"

"Well Sir I can offer.......!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Instead of sitting there doing bugger all waiting for the government to make the next universal credit payment into your bank account you could make yourselves useful by cutting the grass behind you!"

"Can't do that mate! We're just waiting for it to get high enough then we can fuck in there without anyone knowing! It's cheaper than going to a hotel and none of us can go back to.our flats cos our bitches are there breastfeeding the sprogs so they're bound to hear our heads banging against the headboards!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Now I know where Frank Sinatra got his inspiration for the song BLUE MOON!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"This is what I call "Filth personified!"

Drop dead gorgeous, fag in his mouth, bottle in his hand, boner in his pants, shit in his knickers!

NOW BOYS JUST SHAG THAT CUNT SENSELESS!!!!"

 

[ausdude2010]

"This is what I call "Filth personified!"

Drop dead gorgeous, fag in his mouth, bottle in his hand, boner in his pants, shit in his knickers!

NOW BOYS JUST SHAG THAT CUNT SENSELESS!!!!"

His filth is what makes him sweet as sugar

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Very gracious of you to offer your little pussy up to me in payment for these lessons and it does smell divine but we'd better just get the formalities out of the way first!

I've shown you my DBS certificate now you'd better show me your birth certificate!

I am reliably informed that the food in Chelmsford Prison is passable but I have no wish to sample it myself!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"My mum.told me never to accept sweets or lifts from strangers!"

"Well there are different meanings of the word "lift!"

I'll lift your spirits and I'll certainly lift your little arse off the seat!

Cum on jump in! The ride's on me (quite literally!)"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

" know I've been a naughty boy and just scratched your car so you are well within your rights to give me a good belting but as part of the punishment can you sit on my face!?

I've seen you so many times wiggling your tight buns round this block of flats!

I so want to smell your arse!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You've been eyeing me up all.morning ever since I started doing this job you dirty cunt!

I knew exactly what you were after when I first walked into the house!

Well you haven't got long cos your wife has just popped to the shops but if you get yer skates on you can sniff these little babies and then stick your nose up my shitter before you hear her key in the lock!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"So you've been sleeping rough for seven nights now!?

Well you can stay here as long as appreciate there's no such thing as a free lunch!

You can stay in my spare room but I'll be paying you a visit most nights and mornings!

You can go and have a shower in a minute but I'll have you while you've still got the smell of the street on you.....especially as you've been wearing the same dirty socks and pants for a week!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I can't be arsed to cycle all the way home!

Is it OK if I fuck you up against the wall in the next alleyway! Nobody ever goes down there so we shouldn't be disturbed!

If anyone asks what we're up to.ill ust say that I'm testing out condoms!

They're so fucking thick round here thar they'll swallow anything..........and talking of swallowing......!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Had no idea you wanted to be a ballet dancer but I must say you do scrub up well in a pair of tights!

One flash of your tight buns and the girls will be wringing out their knickers while the blokes will be creaming their pants!

Billy Elliot eat yer heart out!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Thank you very much vicar!

I've never really understood that bit in the Bible about turning the other cheek but you have made it all really clear to me now!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I've fucked most of the tradesmen in the area but never fucked the postman before!"

Moral of the story:

"One special delivery deserves another!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Do you wanna take the Chav challenge mate!?

You can bareback me on the seat of this bike but every drop of your cum has got.to go up my shitter and not one drop must be allowed to fall onto this pristine machine otherwise you will be subject to a hefty money penalty!

If you think you've got the balls for this operation then jump on and let's get this show on the road!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You've been laying tiles all day mate!

It's about time somebody laid YOU!

You'll probably run out of cement soon and my bollocks are producing the sort of cement that is gonna bond us for ever sweetheart!"