Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

"I just hope he's gonna be gentle but it's the only way I can get enough money to pay the man that brought me here from Romania!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Sorry you felt you had to dismiss me from my job in such a vindictive way and for nothing!

Thought you might like to know that your son and heir on whom you have pinned all your hopes and dreams for the future is actually "batting for the other side".....that's my side......so if you are hoping that your family name will live on from generation to generation you'd better think again!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Sleeping BOOTY!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Can I see your fare please!?"

"No but yiu can see me bare!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"What's for breakfast then!?"

"Well standing where I am it's got to be fluffy white baps with a Nutella filling!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"This is the part of the job I really love!
When the guest comes back to.his room at 4am in the morning pissed out of his skull and forgets to leave the DO NOT DUSTURB sign on the door!

Have you got the chloroform sponge with you!? We don't want him waking up while we're balls deep inside him!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Room for one on top and one inside!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Can you empty the washing machine for me please love!?"

"You're never gonna believe this Mum but I've just opened the door to the washing machine and a man has slid out feet first!"

"That's right love! It's the plumber! He was in such a state when he finished the job last night that I suggested he get cleaned up here!"

"Well he certainly scrubs up well!"

"I put him on the hot wash so hope he hasn't shrunk!"

"Well his cock certainly hasn't!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Don't delay! Sniff a smelly shitter today!

Now available in gyms, shopping malls, pubs and public toilets!

.....but hurry because today might be the day that those sexy chavvy studs decide to do the unthinkable and change their skidded sweethearts for the dreaded freshly laundered Calvins!

Happy sniffing!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Chav chav chav chav chavvy
Stain your little pants for me!
Chav chav chav chav chavvy
I want to sniff your pee
......but let's face it baby you know what I really want to see.........

"The 9.40 chocolate express is now leaving Sphincterville Station, passing through Puckerville tunnel and arriving at the destination that dare not speak its name at 9.41...........

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This little ditty needs to be sung to the tune of "Food Glorious food " from the 1968 musical "Oliver!"

Feet glorious feet
I so want to sniff them
Bare, socked or in crocs
I just wanna whiff them!

Eight hours on the building site
Your man comes home stinking
And as you remove his boots
I know what you're thinking!

Feet glorious feet......

Your boss is a lazy git
all day watching telly
But you excuse him everything
Cos his feet are so smelly!

Feet glorious feet...

Maths class gets me so horned up
Fit sexy young men
All take off their socks and shoes

TO COUNT TO T-E-N!

Feet glorious feet.........

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Lie down when you're fucking told!

You're less obedient than my Rottweiler not to mention the bitch that shares my bed!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I took the number of your phone while you were in the shower and I also took your sweaty undies that you left on the changing room floor! You sure know how to stripe the seat of your underpants! I've been sniffing them all the way home with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand supporting them to my nose!

I know you've got a girlfriend but any time you want to try sone meat rather than fish I'm your man!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"The main course tonight is rump steak with brown sauce!

Dinner is served boys!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Never been sucked off by a plastic pink flamingo before!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Whoops! Here's the photo!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"My bitch cant get enough of it!

We was in Tesco yesterday in the fruit and veg aisle! She pulls me trousers down and starts sucking me off then screams out :

FUCK ME!

So I lays her down on the floor and sticks me old todger in her cunt but it still ain't enough for her so I had to grab a marrow and ram it in and out of her arse while I was shafting her at the other end!

We both came together! What a fucking mess!

We got up and they put a sign up:

SLIPPERY SURFACE!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"The boss is out and I'm in charge!

I clocked you when you checked in last night!

Been on the streets sleeping rough long!?"

"About a week!?"

"Ok well if you wanna stay here you play by MY rules or I'll invent some story that sends you back to sleep in a shop doorway!
You're smoking hot and I intend to have you night and morning!"

"OK but what about the bloke in the other bed!? We share a room!"

"Why do.you think God gave me two great hands like coal scuttles!?

So I can clamp them down over your mouth to muffle your screams!!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You really shouldn't smoke you know! It's a filthy habit and very dangerous!"

"So is you sending two pints of jizz up my shitter every lunch break but I haven't heard you complaining about that!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Surely you must have realised when you applied for the position of Marketing Manager with Durex that there would be a practical aspect to the interview!?"