Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

If you find yourself quite alone on Gran Via metro station in Madrid waiting for the first train of the day at 4.30am and this guy comes down the platform strutting his stuff
You have little option but to yank down his tight trackie bottoms and bugger the arse off him!

It would be rude not to!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The guy at the back in black is just begging to be serviced and he is precisely the sort of boy who, when you yank down his trackie bottoms , has got the words:

"THIS IS A CONDOM-FREE ZONE"

tattooed across the cheeks of his peachy tanned arse!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"No shortage of volunteers to kiss it better and I'd be first in the queue!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

That's much better boys! It's a hot day to be laying a carpet so hopefully with fewer clothes on you'll do the job in twice the time and in greater comfort!

(And once you've laid my carpet i'll be laying all three of you so I'd better remove some of my own clothes in preparation!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Look Matt your dick is not going to get any bigger simply by exposing it to sunlight and Viagra takes a good hour to work!

I know you are anxious because your new girlfriend was previously dating an African man with a ten inch black mamba that could catapult her through the bedroom window into the neighbours' garden !

Remember it's not the size of the dick that counts but what you do with it and never forget the old saying:

"The best presents cum in small packages!"

(And if you believe that you'll believe anything!)

 

[QuantumBoy]

"Ah but the question is:

"Do you wish to be the rimmed or the rimmer!?"

Definitely the rimmer and sniffer.

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Being the altruistic soul that he was little Josh was keen to raise money to support the people suffering severe hardship in the Third World for whatever reason!

He therefore decided to auction some of his well worn socks and trainers to pervy guys on the Internet!

Even if he didn't raise any money he knew that the sight of his dirty smelly feet was guaranteed to raise a few cocks among the over 60s thereby contributing to the "Help the Aged" campaign!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"It's OK Sir I think I think I've identified the source of the leak!"

"So have I mate! So have I!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've been sniffing your feet in these toilets for the last couple of weeks now and they're always fucking rank which is great but I think you should let me sniff your shitter by way of a Christmas bonus.........or Chrustmas boner!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"We could be twins really! We're almost dressed the same!"

"Well yeah but I'm hung like a donkey and you've got a baby carrot!

That's why I'll always be on top in this relationship!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"The only thing missing from this scene is the Beatkes song "Ticket to ride" playing in the background!

I'd certainly make sure I was right behind this little baby as he went up the stairs of the double decker to the back seat.

One ticket to ride the bus and one ticket ttoride him!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Have you come for the charity facesitting!?

Just remember it's a pound a sniff or eight sniffs for a fiver! If the guys want to rim you it's ten quid a minute and accept only cash!

You're fucking gorgeous so most of the punters will want to fuck you as well!

Don't accept anything less than fifty quid and a hundred if they want to bareback you!

Kind of you to give up your Christmas Day but remember that each time a nose, tongue or cock goes up your arse you will have ensured that a child in Syria, Gaza or Afghanistan gets a square meal!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Hey Dad, so great to see you on Christmas Day after a whole year!"

"I can see you are pleased to see me but remember that I am only your stepdad!"

"Well my real dad walked out on Mum and I when I was a baby so you are the only dad I have ever known! You know me inside out!"

"Well, son by the time today is out I certainly hope to!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Hey Will, shall we play hunt the socks!?"

"Sure mate- They shouldn't be too difficult to find! I've had those smelly fuckers on for five days and the ast I saw of them they were walking unaided towards the laundry basket so they shouldn't be too difficult to find!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"If we were playing snooker I would rip the seat out of his jeans, pot the brown and then the pink!!!!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I know you've always said it ain't Christmas without snow but if you come round 'ere now , with what I've got dangling between my legs, I'll make sure you have a White Christmas!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"So you've got a really severe blockage in one of your pipes and you think that a few pumps from my high pressure hose should do the trick Sir!?

OK I'll be round with my equipment in about half an hour!

Is it all right if I bring a friend with me!?"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Why do Amazon keep sending out these delivery drivers with no fucking English!?

You can say anything you like to them and they just grin back at you....fucking hopeless!

Mind you he's as hot as hell......if we can just get him in the back of the van we can do a bit of role reveral and he can take delivery of OUR packages!

Come on Josh....I need to dump my load between those Islamic buns!!!!!!

Happy Christmas for us and an even happier Eidl Fitr for him!"

 

[Danny1989]

There were lots of chavs in the town I use to live. Always hanging about on the high street. I loved looking at the bulges in their joggers especially on summer days when they were commando

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Have you ever played "beat the clock!?"

"Yeah but I much prefer this new game "beat the jock!"