Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

Have you lost your mind or something? One minute we're lying in bed together and the next you pick me up and plonk me on the stove!

-Well you re too big to fit in the fucking microwave!

-What the fuck?

-If yiu don't fancy me any more just tell me but don't just lie there motionless and expressionless on the bed while I'm pounding you!

The reason I've stuck you on the cooker and whacked up the heat to maximum is to try and thaw out the little block of ice that you've become!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Hi! My name's Mikey and I've been your cleaning operative today representing "Helping Hands!"

If you've enjoyed this experience please subscribe to our website or leave a five-star review!

Or just lick the shit out of my arse because here at Helping Hands we believe that:

"One deep clean deserves another!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Really enjoyed the nature trail Sir but not quite sure why you wanted to speak to me on my own with the rest of the class gone!?

-Well Robbie I've shown you the "nature" trail so maybe now you can show me your "treasure" trail!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Since hunky Henrique from Honduras moved next doo wash day has become the social event of our street!

All the guys gather round mine to see him peg his smalls out on the washing line ever hopeful that he is going to drop a pair of his tighty whities as close to our boundary fence as possible within reach of my greedy hands!

Would rather have them unwashed of course but beggars can't be choosers and until such time as I find a way of accessing his dirty laundry basket all the guys in our row will have to suffer in silence!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Since hunky Henrique from Honduras moved next doo wash day has become the social event of our street!

All the guys gather round mine to see him peg his smalls out on the washing line ever hopeful that he is going to drop a pair of his tighty whities as close to our boundary fence as possible within reach of my greedy hands!

Would rather have them unwashed of course but beggars can't be choosers and until such time as I find a way of accessing his dirty laundry basket all the guys in our row will have to suffer in silence!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

My boyfriend is so sweet! His name is Justin and he cums from Basildon in Essex! He went to so much trouble with my Christmas present! He contacted Boots the chemist and arranged for them to make a fragrance that smelled of a combination of his farts and skidmarks and they called it JUST MUSK (Justin's Musk).

He also got them to make a Covid mask out of his skidded undies so that wherever I went if I was wearing that mask I would always be able to smell his arse!

What a thoughtful boy to want to please his daddy so!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This guy is so fucking thick it's unreal! Just sent him a pic of a bird with massive great jugs who wants to meet him on a blind date but blind has to be blind so me and my mates are gonna blindfold him and take him in our car to the woods!

He thinks he's gonna be sucking the milk out of that bird's tits whereas in actual fact were gonna be sucking the cream out of his bollocks and licking every drop of shit from his sphincter!

Then it's time to remove the blindfold so that he can see the faces of his assailants!

In the words of the Roman gladiators of yesteryear:

"Ave Chavvy Twat! We who are about to double dick you salute you!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

14 May 1988 was marked by Wimbledon beating Liverpool 1-0 in the FA Cup final at Wembley!

The Wimbledon lads marked their victory with a 21 bun salute but I can only count sixteen of those sweet little babies so I am adding Hector Bellerin, Jake O Brien and that random cyclist on the left which should more than make up the number!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Oh my God! Do you think he's dead? Let's drag him out of the water and give him the kiss of life!

You hold his head back and I'll blow into his mouth!

-YOU hold his head back and I'll deal with his other head! I want to see if I can inject some colour into that sweet little bulbous head and restore it to his rightful purple hue!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I'm really sorry to do this to you baby but Kofi has turned my life around. He's kind, generous, caring and his big black dick is twice the size of yours!

I wanted to do this face to face but I've got out of the habit of doing things face to face!

Since I've been with Kofi it's all face to cock or face to arse or face to feet.......we've tried every combination!

Can I cum round and collect my things tomorrow afternoon!? Please feel free to keep my dirty socks and knickers if you ever feel the need to be reminded of me!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When Daddy's business went bust and they had to remove me from my rather civilised boarding school in Surrey and transfer me to some ghastly Comprehensive in Essex my heart sank!

I was used to being taken roughly from behind by Head of House if I couldn't walk from one side of the dorm to the other without letting a hot buttered crumpet slip from between my arse cheeks!

However, these chavvy lads at my new place are a lot of fun and very good value!

They never seem to change their underpants or take a shower from one week to the next and that unwashed council estate smell has become quite intoxicating!

I used to go to Harrods with Mummy all the time but if I ever go back there it will probably be to stand on the other side of the counter!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Well I live near the coast but this has never happened to me while walking along Clacton pier!

However a man can dream!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Don't look as if the bride's gonna show up!

-Pity to waste the ring!

-Too true mate and after all everyone loves a good fairy story!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Always fancied eating Tobey Maguire's arse while he's in his spidey suit!

Don't know who this guy is but that's one pretty rich dirtbox he's got there!

It certainly needs a bit of tongue action!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

You've shown us your "North Face!"

Now show us your "Southern Cheeks!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Your mate calls you "skank"
Cos your socks are so rank
But you I must thank
Now you're in my wank bank!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

My smoking hot friend
Over the table do bend
Abd I'll part your tanned cheeks oh so pert!

Your pink pucker's winking!
A green light I'm thinking
And my cock head is poised at your door!

Born 2004 I'm not breaking the law
As my cock disappears up your hole!

What a sweet stinker pinker is yours little tinker!

I've potted the brown and also the pink
And in theory it should now be black
But with all my hard humping and pumping and dumping

RED RAW IS NOW YOUR LITTLE CRACK!!!!

(Photo to follow when technology permits!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

My smoking hot friend
Over the table do bend
Abd I'll part your tanned cheeks oh so pert!

Your pink pucker's winking!
A green light I'm thinking
And my cock head is poised at your door!

Born 2004 I'm not breaking the law
As my cock disappears up your hole!

What a sweet stinker pinker is yours little tinker!

I've potted the brown and also the pink
And in theory it shoukd now be black
Nit with all my hard humping and pumping abf dumping

RED RAW IS NOW YIUR LITTLE CRACK!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I've finally learned the origin of the expression:

"Get some down yer neck!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Well if I'm going to retrain as the team medic once I've retired I need to to start getting in some practice!

Can you cough for me please!"