Sniffademskidz's Funny Stuff

[Sniffademskidz]

Yep! They're sure as hell packing them in nice and tight on those convict ships!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gives new meaning to the expression:

"The Golden Globes Awards!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Would you like to make a deposit Sir!?

-Yes but I don't know where to stick my cock!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"The corn is as high as an elephant's eye!"
Oklahoma ( Rodgers and Hammerstein!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You may want to go for a spin but I'll certainly take you for a ride!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Arse painting has certainly got to be one up from.face painting!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

No country knows how to appreciate their players like the Italians!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When your friend's had a skinful and can't be trusted to stay upright at the urinal you're more than happy to offer a helping hand!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Adapted English proverb:

"A hand on the arse is worth two in his bush!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Whether it's black and white or colour it's hard to improve on perfection!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Judging from that sign we must be in Russia!

Don't let Mr.Putin catch you boys!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Publicity like that must get the punters flooding in!

So if we buy a pair of football boots from them can we try shots on goal too!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Just need to get my tape measure before I take receipt of that package!

It's the twelve inch hammer I need and not the ten inch one!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gives new meaning to the expression:

"To put the roses back into your cheeks!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Kissing somebody on both cheeks is a tradition in Latin countries but I say:

"Why stop at just two cheeks!?"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I don't think the congregation were ready to see two men having sex on a coffin as it went down the aisle of the crematorium!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When the hotel bellboy comes to your room dressed in floral speedos and asks you to marry him this is what is known as:

"The ROOM, BLOOM and GROOM service!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

..........I never thought it would fit!

I'm talking about my new dining-room table!

What did you think i meant you dirty cunts!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Two scoops of chocolate ice cream with squirty cream and the popping of the cherry.....the perfect chocolate sundae!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Rule 69 of the Highway Code:

"Go round the obstacle and avoid confrontation!"

Avoid confrontation yes but avoid penetration!?