Sniffademskidz's Funny Stuff

[Sniffademskidz]

When your friend's had a skinful and can't be trusted to stay upright at the urinal you're more than happy to offer a helping hand!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Adapted English proverb:

"A hand on the arse is worth two in his bush!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Whether it's black and white or colour it's hard to improve on perfection!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Judging from that sign we must be in Russia!

Don't let Mr.Putin catch you boys!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Publicity like that must get the punters flooding in!

So if we buy a pair of football boots from them can we try shots on goal too!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Just need to get my tape measure before I take receipt of that package!

It's the twelve inch hammer I need and not the ten inch one!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gives new meaning to the expression:

"To put the roses back into your cheeks!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Kissing somebody on both cheeks is a tradition in Latin countries but I say:

"Why stop at just two cheeks!?"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I don't think the congregation were ready to see two men having sex on a coffin as it went down the aisle of the crematorium!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When the hotel bellboy comes to your room dressed in floral speedos and asks you to marry him this is what is known as:

"The ROOM, BLOOM and GROOM service!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Two scoops of chocolate ice cream with squirty cream and the popping of the cherry.....the perfect chocolate sundae!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Rule 69 of the Highway Code:

"Go round the obstacle and avoid confrontation!"

Avoid confrontation yes but avoid penetration!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Ooo Grandpa what big teeth you have!

-All the better to eat you with!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday snow!"

( adaptation of Noel Coward and Rudyard Kipling!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Tommy Hilfiger!?

I can see a banana and two plums so surely it should be "Fruit of the Loom!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"A practical demonstration is so much more effective than words!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If you live in Britain don't forget that this cumming Friday 20 March is RED NOSE DAY!

However don't forget BROWN NOSE DAY which is any fucking day you get lucky!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Do you take this wine waiter to be your whorefully bedded cum dump!?

-I do!

-Have you got the ring?

I'm getting there!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Pharaoh's daughter may have found Moses in the bullrushes but I wonder who was lucky enough to cum across this fit little fucker in the long grass!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"If I roll a double six can i shake a triple shitter!?"