Sniffademskidz's Funny Stuff

[Sniffademskidz]

My boyfriend is much better at snooker than I am but in the bedroom I am an expert at potting the brown before going on to sink the pink!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

One of the key criteria for this thread is the word "nude" and I think we all agree that the anaconda is naked!

Her name is Ivy and she's a real sweetheart but tends to be a bit clingy!

If you've got a problem with nosey neighbours, drunken revellers, cold callers or Jehovah's Witnesses she's a necessary addition to your home!

However, the best thing is that Amazon delivers!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I'm not happy about this!

There are poisonous snakes in these rocks!

-That's right baby boy and once my black mamba is inside your pussy you are sure gonna feel its bite!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When George and Henry stsrted living together City stockbroker George told his boyfriend that he expected his dinner to be on the table when he walked through the door after a hard day at the office!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The term "get a room!" Is often directed at people who are showing each other too much affection in public but for two penniless students like Adam and Pete they might as well have said "get a wall!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Happy to stand in for the monkey if he needs a few days' break!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Can't imagine that Jamaicans would need to promote their beautiful country in an effort to attract more tourists but if they did they could do worse than include this picture!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When Ben had fitted the new shower he felt slightly uncomfortable when the client asked him to test it out for him!

It didn't help that Ben's surname was Dover!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

We may be reaching the point where Uber drivers actually become the food that they deliver!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Blue and green should ALWAYS be seen!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"If we'd been born with three dicks like black mambas such a decision would be irrelevant!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Sometimes the driving examiner just needs a little persuasion to sign the certificate!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"There are few pleasures greater than playing strip poker using a marked deck of cards with somebody who doesn't know the rules!

It's just like taking candy from a baby....and hopefully a bit later taking his cherry!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-How did the driving test go Josh!?

-Well I went up a one-way street to start with, then my girfriend texted me a video of herself with her tits out and while i was looking at that we hit an old lady crossing the zebra crossing and dragged her for about half a mile!

Then we ended up in the fruit amd veg aisle of Tesco!

I still passed though!

-Amazing! You must feel great!

Well I've still got a sore bottom but once that wears off I can celebrate!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Any chance of keeping that little baby still while I'm painting you!?

It's very distracting when we go from ten to twelve to midday and now we appear to be at quarter past three!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I assume you are the company cumdump but correct me if I am wrong!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-You're clearly unfamiliar with.the word TRUST Jake!

-Well this chastity belt was on special offer at Amazon so i bought one for my new boyfriend for his birthday!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Fill me up buddy!

-Excuse me Sir are you a ventriloquist or did your car just speak!?

-I was speaking for both of us beautiful!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

From where I'm standing i don't think anyone is going to disagree with what it says on the poster!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Sitting on the fence" generally means you are so indecisive you don't know which way to turn!