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Sniffing footballers' arses!

24 year old German footballer CHRIS FUHRICH is telling us that he is a "sunmaker" but I bet he is an equally good "sonmaker!"

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The original PADERBORN PUSSYPOUNDER!

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You can just imagine his bitch writhing on the bed in a hybrid of ecstasy and agony, her strangled and vociferous meeowings graduate into a satisfied purring as Chris fills her with his warm life-giving jizz!

Another son has just been made so as Richard Neville was dubbed the Kingmaker in 15th century England let us dub this horny stud Chris the Sonmaker!!
 
22 year old ILIA GRUEV of Bulgaria!

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I can tell you that my Ilia definitely grew when I saw the buns on that bitch!!!

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CHARLIE KIRK was born on 24 December 1997!

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Although Jesus was the ultimate gift I'm sure that nobody would turn their noses up at the chance to sniff the seat of his compression shorts!

Here he us with sexy little OWEN DALE!

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On the subject of sniffing, which is after all my very own obsession, you may be conversant with the phrase THE GREAT UNWASHED used to denote the "uneducated proletariat!"

When I see those hunky tanned young18 year old hunks wander into Tesco in their paint-flecked sweatpants to grab their meal deal before going to work I am ever vigilant at the tills in case one of them drops a coin or a note and has to bend down and retrieve it thus affording us the chance to ogle their tight muscular buns for just a few seconds!

The phrase that cums to mind is

THE GREAT UNSNIFFED!

Mind you it doesn't always have to be like that and I am sure there are ways round it!!!
 
26 year old German footballer MARCEL HARTEL!

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The number 30 on the waistband of his briefs almost looks as if it has been written on manually like some sort of tally to indicate the number of times he's had his smellers yanked down by either teammates or opposition for a shot on goal!

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22 year old Spanish footballer MARIO SORIANO was born in Alcala de Henares just outside Madrid, an honour which he shares with our one time queen of blessed memory Catherine of Aragon and the writer Miguel de Cervantes!

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Another Spanish footballer is 27 year old MARIO HERMOSO whose surname translates into English as "beautiful!"

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I don't think anyone would argue with that!
 
22 year old LEONARDO CAMPANA from Ecuador!

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The Spanish word CAMPANA means "bell (end!)"
 
"Red and green should never be seen but brown and pink do herald a stink!!!"

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"....and if you've got it flaunt it!"

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23 year old German footballer LENNART GRILL!

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Just look at that arse!

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Lennart GRILL!?

I'll eat that arse grilled, fried, boiled, coddled, scrambled, toasted......
 
22 year old PIERO HINCAPIE
from Ecuador!

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The word "hincapie" translates into English as "emphasis!"

I would certainly like to "put my point very firmly" where this young man is concerned!
 
23 year old LLOYD KELLY who plays for Bournemouth nicknamed "The Cherries!"

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If he's one of the cherries I'll happily take the role of the "cherrypicker" and suck his plums into the bargain!!!!
 
How about 28 year old YANNIK HABERER!?

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What an absolute peach!

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SAP! I wouldn't mind sucking the sap out of his bollocks!

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Netto!? "Net" indeed cos there's certainly nothing "gross" about him!

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"Ride him you Turkish bastard! Ride him!"

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When you are possessed of a pair of buns like those of MATTS HUMMELS you don't need to feel "hummel" at all!

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On the contrary! You should feel as proud as punch!
 
"I've got just one thing to say to your lycra shorts!"

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" Come on down! The PREIS is right!"
 
"If they are serious about being a team maybe they need to coordinate their watches as they all seem to be telling different times!"

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"Is there anything we can do for you while you're waiting for the physio!?"

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"Yep! Just sit on my face so that I can inhale the smell from your shitty black arse!"

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"This poxy gas and air isn't a patch on the smell from his arse!"

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This 20 year old Afghan may be no oil painting but his arse is a work of art and definitely needs the FASTT treatment!

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For the uninitiated the acronym FASTT means:

Finger
And
Snout
Tongue
Todger!

Not sure about FAST! I think I'd take my fucking time on that one!!!
 
There's just something about this guy OSCAR ROMERO ( should change his name to RIMERO!)of Boca Juniors with his tousled hair that spurs me on to do all sorts of naughty things which of course I am happy to share with you!

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I'd whip his smellers off and tie them round my face so that my nostrils were aligned with that big brown stripe and then I'd lay him on his back and thrust in and out of that Argentinian hole till it was red raw and then flood him with my own version of SAVLON to ease the pain!

I'd make sure that there was enough Savlon to cover his saveloy too!!!!

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