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So, Im Bi But a Lot of Gay Culture Annoys the S#!^ Out of Me...

gothamking

gothamking

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Ok, I suspect people are gonna be all over me for this, but here goes....

As a bi man, I just dont identify with a lot of gay culture. In fact, a lot of it bugs the shit out of me. Im not down with drag or "the scene"or leather or brunch or decorating or cattiness or techno or eyeliner or fairies or boy spelled with an "i" or twinks or the drama of it all. I just like being with guys. I dont need or want this stuff. Honestly, a lot of it just turns my stomach and makes me more glad to be bi than gay. Not that being bi is in any way easy. But then again, gays give me more flak about being bi than anyone else, including str8s.

Obviously, this is a problem sometimes because a lot of gay and bi guys are into all this in one way or another.

Thoughts?
 
I know what you mean... when you say you are Bi they say 'o your not....'... go tell me what does my dick like...
There is some other stuff but I'd rather shut up here... ;)
 
As a guy guy living in the metro NYC area I am dont identify with 99% of it ! Where are the normal gay men ?
 
Agree, agree, agree! I can't be around any one part of the scene for too long. It becomes such a turn off, regardless of how hot some of the guys may be. Luckily I've met some model material dudes that are just plain cool lately. We all hate the extremes of the gay thing. I tell people that I like guys that actually LIKE being guys...it seems to work alright.
 
I understand what you mean, but not everybody is like that. The same things you've describes also apply to straight women most of the time.
 
Guess what, same here... the only difference between you and I is that I don't have that "finding women attractive" gene, or whatever it is. I'm sure there are other guys you will find that are more like you and I... at least I certainly hope there are.
 
Wow, I honestly thought people were gonna bite my head off for this. Im glad to sse there are others who feel like me. I thought I was the only one.

And yeah, Ive def gotten the whole "you're just bi because you haven't found the right guy" thing (usually followed by something along the lines of: I bet I could switch you). I guess because we straddle both worlds, there is always suspicion of us, which is a shame. I just thought gays would be a little more understanding, but in my experience they've been much rougher.

As for gay culture, Ive found it to be very segregated and exclusionary. In other words, pretty damn bitchy. ;)
 
TaigaStar said:
I understand what you mean, but not everybody is like that. The same things you've describes also apply to straight women most of the time.
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Yeah, I guess. But I think what bothers me is that some gay men try to be MORE feminine than even straight women. And I feel like, you may be gay but thats not the same or even close to being an actual woman. Seems so phony to be a hyper-woman.
 
It annoys me, too. Gay pride parades, the rainbow flag, leather, drag queens, gayborhoods, gay Olympics, gay mardi gras. It's embarrassing. IMO, if gays just lived normally and didn't make a big deal out of their sexual orientation, no one else would. They'd gain a lot more respect.

After all, when most people think of homosexuals or gay culture, what do you believe first comes to mind?
 
hmmz, ive never been to any one of these before...

i think i would hate it though. =\
 
I know what you mean. I am only into guys when it comes to gay terms. Everything else im not really interested in.
 
I don't get into any of the stuff you describe, and frankly sometimes find it hard to understand guys that do. Just because you like to suck dick why do you have to carry a manpurse?

But I don't think most gay guys are into it either. You just don't notice them because they don't fit the stereotype.

There are certain aspects of "straight" culture I don't get either: country music, an obsession with guns, fried everything, putting bacon on everything, motor homes.

The way I look at it, it is a free country, and there is enough room for everybody. I don't go to gun shows and I don't go to pride parades, but thank God we live in a country that has both.
 
Sorry tonguetied but I am as gay as you can get and I love my motor home. It is freedom to me. I just got back from gaydaze 07 at Disneyland and there were a lot of gays in the rv park I stayed at. Funny thing was I had NO idea it was gaydaze and even wore red by coincidence. Cool day, it was nice to see boyfriend/girlfriends holding hands. And if you all were there you would see we come in ALL shapes, sizes etc. There were fem's to butch tattooed bears and everyone in between!
 
gothamking said:
... "you're just bi because you haven't found the right guy" thing (usually followed by something along the lines of: I bet I could switch you)...
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The gay guys who say that are no better than fundementalist right-wingers (some Christians) who say "we can make you striaght".

broad-market said:
...Gay pride parades, the rainbow flag, leather, drag queens, gayborhoods, gay Olympics, gay mardi gras...if gays just lived normally and didn't make a big deal out of their sexual orientation, no one else would...
Click to expand...

Although there is nothing inherently wrong with these, there are a lot of gay and bi guys who do not enjoy these activites, myself included.

Kinda like my thoughts on racial issues:
You wanna have a "gay pride parade"...what woudl you think (honestly) if someone wanted to have a "straight pride parade"?
 
There are likely plenty of bi and gay guys that probably feel the same. As a bisexual guy, I find a lot of things about the mainstream gay culture that I just don't identify with at all. I think that not wanting to be lumped in with all of that is part of what keeps many bi and gay men from coming out. It's probably also why most bi men steer clear of the gay community altogether. It's also probably part of the contention that so obviously exists between many bi and gay men.

Maybe it has more to do with the area in which you live in, but it seems like in my area the gay community seems to be synonymous with obnoxious and flamboyant. Maybe some communities are more balanced. It would be interesting to see how the different gay communities across the world compare with others.
 
gothamking said:
And yeah, Ive def gotten the whole "you're just bi because you haven't found the right guy" thing (usually followed by something along the lines of: I bet I could switch you)
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Ya know to this day I never quite understood that. How is being bi mean you are gay? I mean just cause you like men and women how are you gay?

You could easily switch haven't found the right guy with girl.

I think some bisexuals might prefer one over the other, but I never quite got how being bi means you are either gay or more into men.
 
I can understand how you feel. I'm not quite as annoyed by it all as you are but i have a very hard time relating with gay guys with stereotypes. I fit in with straight guys, so much so that people don't believe I'm gay. I usually have to blow them to prove it...lol

Drag queens don't bother me cause their pretty cool and some of them are really talented. But i don't like the bitchy gay scene. I'll take a sports bar over a gay bar any day of the week!
 
not every guy is like that. and you live in San Francisco one of the cities where people could give two shits what you do. i get up there every other month and i can tell you that 90% of the gay/bi guys there are not all flamers, there mostly pretty normal guys. who go about their life's and dont worry about what others think.

maybe you need to get comfy with who you are and not worry about what the guys down the block are doing, or how their acting.

"what we dont like in others, is really what we dont like in our self's"
 
mascbiguy said:
"what we dont like in others, is really what we dont like in our self's"
Click to expand...

I think the real issues here are feeling like you don't fit in, feeling ostracized for not conforming, and fear of being judged by the actions of others.
 
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