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Talk about your relationship with your dad

C

chobbs

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According to my shrink, a big part of the reason that I am attracted to men stems from the poor relationship that I have with my father. Apparently, I reciprocate for what should be a healthy relationship with my dad with a sexual desire for men. I am curious how much of a trend this is among gay people.

I feel like my father is a failure, and I don't look up to him at all. It becomes awkward whenever we have a conversation that is deeper than passing comments on the weather.

What are your relationships with your fathers like, and do you think that maybe it has something to do with your homosexuality?
 
Your shink is an idiot, and you need to stop seeing anyone who tells you that you're gay because of something that happened after you were born.

If having a father that didn't give a damn or wasn't perfect made you gay, there would be about 8 straight men in America.

What you need is to stop worrying about why you're gay and just... be.
 
I only met my dad once when I was around six years old. That was the last time I saw. I ended up hating him during that time and Thats it. I grew up without him around and he didn't try hard enough to come into my life and fix things. I didn't want him.

I had sexual attractions to older men in the third grade, which was only about a year after I met my dad, so I don't think its the case.

I'm 18 now and my dad has missed the bandwagon. He has lost me and its his fault to begin with.

I don't care for him or any of his family members. And no my mom and dad were never married.

PS: don't listen to your therapist too much. Remmember, he is getting paid alot of money for every hour and hes asking you more questions when you should be asking him the questions...
 
I think your shrinks assertion is flat wrong. And stupid. Forgive me for being blunt.

I have a great relationship with my father. He knows I'm gay and loves me just the same. Yeah, we had our rough spots. Mostly when I was a teenager to damn eager to assert himself and didn't want to hear the old man's advice. Know I'm an adult who credits his good fortune to the way I was brought up. My sexual desires for men stem from my being gay. Plain and simple.
 
My father knows about me, and doesnt care at all. As well as that, we have an awesome relationship that I can easily describe as friends. Of course that was different when I was younger, but once I started to grow and up and show that I was more than a little shit that only caused trouble, our relationship changed.

I still like guys though, so I don't think its the father-son relationship.
 
Your Dr. may think this is a valid reason. I don't doubt that. I doubt its validity.

As for me, Dad and I have always had a great relationship. Always spending time together. Camping, scuba diving, sky diving, flying, we do it all together.
 
"He knows I'm gay and loves me just the same."
Same with my father. We just have an.. awkward relationship.

And Soilwork, my shrink is not an idiot. I also don't believe he knows everything, because I am not an idiot either.

I do believe that I was born with a predisposed attraction to men. But I also know that events in my youth and the relationships that I have with my parents have affected my behavior and attitude towards myself and to others. Your parents shape who you are, there is no doubt in my mind about that. Their behavior inevitably rubs off on you one way or another - you could reject it, you could take it on as your own. Either way, it affects you.

From this, how hard is it to believe that their behavior compounded with your relationship with them doesn't affect what you like and don't like sexually? Sexuality, in my eyes, is both a result of genetics and your environment.

And I'm not worried about why I'm bisexual, I'm just curious. It is an integral part of who I am, so in that sense I am just discovering myself; making sense of myself. For the more I know about my nature, the better I can get my nature to work for me.
 
Soilwork said:
Your shink is an idiot, and you need to stop seeing anyone who tells you that you're gay because of something that happened after you were born.

If having a father that didn't give a damn or wasn't perfect made you gay, there would be about 8 straight men in America.

What you need is to stop worrying about why you're gay and just... be.
Click to expand...

What he said.
 
Thats the best way to put it chobbs, and when it comes to the youth and experiences that help mould what you like, I completely agree, and it makes sense.
 
I concur with Soilwork. I know PLENTY of straight friends whose dads are deadbeat and a waste of space, yet they are still straight.

I personally feel that assessment is a cop-out, and a rather loaded statement in declaring that we are gay because we are a by-product of a crappy parental relationship.

And hey, my 2 older brothers and I despise our dad. I'm the only gay one, my 2 older bros are straight and like pussy.

Go to another shrink. Your shrink is supposed to help you, not funnel junk like this into your head.

(wow, i'm bitchier than usual............)
 
Christopher123 said:
How can it be a genetic trait when I'm the only gay person in my entire family?
Click to expand...

that you're aware of.......it's quite possible that there might be someone GLBT in your family that you were not told about or weren't aware of....perhaps closeted too?
 
jesus christ.

i just googled my shrink's name, and this is what came out.

fucking a
 
"The sooner these problems are addressed in therapy the more hope there is for a full recovery."

said my shrink. what an asshole.
 
elvin1 said:
LOL....This is too funny.......:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Click to expand...

Ironic? Perhaps.

Funny? Not so sure.

The guy was getting loaded advice. As a therapist he should be fair and impartial. If he's being invited by the Church then I would have sincere doubts about his impartiality.

Chobbs? Find another therapist my friend.
 
dkonfrost said:
that you're aware of.......it's quite possible that there might be someone GLBT in your family that you were not told about or weren't aware of....perhaps closeted too?
Click to expand...

I seriously doubt it, although I could be wrong. I mean, yes, I'm aware that both men and women can be 'married with children' and in the closet. But I still don't think it's genetic.

However, this is just my opinion.
 
LilTimmy said:
Cure for gays???? Holy shit I'd stay the hell away from that guy.

Christopher

1. Maybe some people in your family have not come out yet.
Click to expand...

I know :)

And I'm not saying it isn't possible. I just don't really believe it's a genetic thing. Although some guys here (in the past) have said that their brothers and sisters are gay as well.

I can't prove anything one way or the other. These are just my personal thoughts.
 
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