On Topic Discussion Taralen's 2018 Random Musings About Life...

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

Not good at networking either. The question is; what do you have to offer?

 

[roadtripboy]

Re: Do you believe there is tension between masculine and feminine gay guys?

I don't have anything profound to add. But, I do agree with you that some men who perceive themselves as masculine often say negative things about fem men. The funny thing is, most of the people who say these things are not as masculine as they think they are.

Just so everyone knows which group to place me in. I think I'm sort of in the middle towards the fem side.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

Not good at networking either. The question is; what do you have to offer?

Do you feel that's due to being gay, because myself personally with my situations, I think it is.

It's not just gay people, it's anybody who doesn't fit the typical, nuclear white, good looking, successful business man role.

 

[JohnnyAnger]

Re: Can gay and straight men be friends?

I don't know man. If I know someones straight I'm not attracted to them anymore. There just isn't a point to it + I haven't been single for years, so I'm not chasing guys anyway.

Finally, I don't choice the people I am friends with based on my attraction to them - do you expect to find all your gay friends attractive?

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

Do you feel that's due to being gay, because myself personally with my situations, I think it is.

It's not just gay people, it's anybody who doesn't fit the typical, nuclear white, good looking, successful business man role.

You have to be able to provide something for other people, and you can't consciously provide that if you think of yourself all the time.

 

[rareboy]

Re: Can gay and straight men be friends?

Almost all of our male friends are straight.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Do you believe race/culture plays a factor in your gay lifestyle?

No, I don't.

It would be nice if you explained why. As that's the whole point.

There are some things you don't need to explain, like.

Are you gonna wear that shirt? You can simply say, "No I'm not." They don't really need to explain why. Unless they ask.

I'm clearly asking why in this thread.

But something like, "why don't you like chocolate." (even though I love chocolate.) You can say, well I'm allergic etc.

So that's what I mean.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

................

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Re: Do you believe race/culture plays a factor in your gay lifestyle?

It just makes me upset, that it ruins my relationship with other gay men because of this. I feel so alone and fenced in.

You feel alone because you are only engaged with your own feelings. It will change the moment you stop doing that.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Can gay and straight men be friends?

I don't know man. If I know someones straight I'm not attracted to them anymore. There just isn't a point to it + I haven't been single for years, so I'm not chasing guys anyway.

Finally, I don't choice the people I am friends with based on my attraction to them - do you expect to find all your gay friends attractive?

I find all straight men attractive, (just for the fact he's straight. I blame gay for pay porn to be honest with you.) except for more feminine or androygnous/womanly straight men. If you know what I mean.

I'm not like that. In fact, the fact he's not gonna change his sexuality for me, and the fact he's straight is just the way it is, makes it harder.

So even if I was able to push that aside, it's still gonna be an issue for me.

I can see your point and vantage though, "he's straight, so I can be cool with him." But no. If anything that makes things worse. "He's straight, he's my type. I can't do anything to him." etc. So there.

With gay men, I would find it hard to befriend a guy I was attracted to. So I prefer to befriend feminine gay men, as I'm a feminine gay man myself, and I'm not attracted to feminine men.

So I hope that answers your question.

 

[nycguydowntown]

Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

I def think there is prejudice against feminine gay men especially in certain corporate fields ---on Wall Street if you like golf and other sports you instantly have a lot in common with your co-workers and can move up the corporate ladder fast. So, if you are an African American straight guy into those straight guy things--you have an easier time for sure. I'm a fairly straight acting gay guy so haven't had as much of a problem but it does matter what field you are trying to get in.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Do you believe race/culture plays a factor in your gay lifestyle?

You feel alone because you are only engaged with your own feelings. It will change the moment you stop doing that.

The fucking problem is, other gay men have feelings and opinions as well.

This is the point of this thread.

We're past that really. About self love and self determination and self confidence. I get it.

What I don't get, is why other people despite being confident in myself, don't want me included.

I feel I have to categorize myself, apart of a category which I may fit into to, but I don't want to be apart of or stand behind really.

 

[Alistair]

Re: Do you believe race/culture plays a factor in your gay lifestyle?

Haven't you beat these topics to death in the other 5 threads you've made? Do you think you're going to get a different result?

 

[HoodedRat]

Re: Can gay and straight men be friends?

All, but one, of my male friends are straight; the remaining one is bi.

I am perfectly comfortable around straight men and they seem very comfortable around me.

Although I love them as people, I don't find any of them sexually attractive; I like/love them for who they are.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Do you believe race/culture plays a factor in your gay lifestyle?

Haven't you beat these topics to death in the other 5 threads you've made? Do you think you're going to get a different result?

Being that they are different topics, yes.

 

[HoodedRat]

Re: Do you believe there is tension between masculine and feminine gay guys?

I like fem guys and masc guys.

I'm not particularly macho or camp myself.

Most of the guys I know (gay or straight) are neither particularly masculine nor feminine.

As for the 'gay community'; I have no idea. I've never been a part of any sort of 'gay community'. I'm not even convinced that there is such a thing. Just lots of separate small groups, but no 'community'.

 

[luckynumbah7]

Re: Do you believe race/culture plays a factor in your gay lifestyle?

Being that they are different topics, yes.

No they ain't. You've been using the 'topics' as an excuse not to work through your own issues. You've kicked the horse so often it's paté in a bag of bruised skin.

 

[gsdx]

Re: Do you believe race/culture plays a factor in your gay lifestyle?

I almost answered, but it's not going to solve anything for you. You come up with different titles, but it always boils down to the same thing. You're obsessed with this and looking for answers that we can't give you because they won't make any difference at all.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

You have to be able to provide something for other people, and you can't consciously provide that if you think of yourself all the time.

Well it's mostly due to things you cannot control or change. You can't control gender roles, and how that defeats a homosexual man. So.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Re: Why is it hard for gay men to network?

Well it's mostly due to things you cannot control or change. You can't control gender roles, and how that defeats a homosexual man. So.

I know there's pain
Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin' your worries pass you by
Don't you think it's worth your time
To change your mind?

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day

I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free the chains
Yeah I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on

Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
If you hold on
Can you hold on
Hold on baby
Won't you tell me now
Hold on for one more day 'cause
It's gonna go your way

Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can't you change it this time

Make up your mind
Hold on
Hold on
Baby hold on​