The Just Venting, Airing Out, Talking Shit, Personal Beefs, Problems, Anger Management, and etc Thread for 2016

[dpnice]

The reason I think about it is because he's into me. So I do feel weird that I can't seem to return that.

You should think yourself lucky that someone finds you worthwhile to spend time with.

Who says you have to feel 'into' him; either you like him as company or you don't. If you like his presence in your life why refuse yourself it just because you don't feel your heart strings bursting with love.

If you don't feel sexually attracted to him nor like his company then why on earth are you spending time with him.

 

[dpnice]

I'm not looking for them. But they would need to exist for me to proceed further. I just have this awful feeling that I'm wasting his time. That someone out there would be way better to him than I. I care about him, but maybe friendship is all I should pursue.

In my eyes this is sufficient to both spend time with and have sex with someone on a serious basis.

Do you ever feel grateful that someone shows interest in you?

 

[tarallucci]

After some celestial sightings yesterday, I gave myself one of the best handjob ever

Also, the sausage with paprika tastes even better than the one with chili pepper

 

[refujiunderground]

Let's keep it real.

Just because I'm gay and don't approve of another thing that a gay person does that i feel is negative doesn't make me fucked up. I think that the whole tolerance aspect in terms of accepting the things we can't change like our sexuality is being manipulated for things that people chose to be such as being ignorant or an asshole. I feel like way too many try to use the I'm gay card to get away things they know wouldnt fly or get their ass beat. Then they use the excuse such as "deal with it". The irony is that folks get upset when people throw their shit back at them.

 

[eastofeden]

I've been going on dates with a guy who is super into me, creative, hard-working, very good looking, positive, just finished self publishing a book, and is so "right" for me in so many ways, yet I can't seem to develop any feelings for him. I don't long for him. It's kind of upsetting, seeing the greatness, but not actually feeling it.

I know this feeling..exactly. I used to wish I could be in control of what I was attracted to ultimately....but I gave up...

I don't care how good it looks on paper...if I am not feeling it..it isn't gonna happen.

The problem was...I didn't pretend enough and my honesty was not appreciated as much as I think it should have been.

The part where people say they "just want honesty"...LOL...what a crock of shit that is. In fact..it is often the opposite...anything BUT honesty is what a lot of people want...and I would LOVE to hear one of them say THAT instead so at least I could respect them....

 

[refujiunderground]

Yeah it's funny how so many on here also see your faults. But let it all out and vent your rage at me if it makes you feel any better.

That reminds me Beyonce is on TV.

Breh, just own up to the fact that you messed up. You made a mistake. Quit trying to have the last word. It's pointless.

 

[mikemizanin729]

Breh, just own up to the fact that you messed up. You made a mistake. Quit trying to have the last word. It's pointless.

Yes.

Last post wins.

 

[refujiunderground]

Yes.

Last post wins.

Okay.



Anyways, don't get me wrong. I love sex and get turned on to guys like the next gay but not impressed at this sexual objectification and vanity anymore. It's just boring. Can't even say that porn thrills me anymore especially looking at how there is an entire culture that revolves around glorifying porn actors and acting like they are mentors or guides to live life. Hell no.


I think there's something more attractive about a guy that keeps that aspect of themselves, the sexual one, on the low where they hide or doesn't showcase it on some shit because it sort of takes away the excitement. Theres a mystery to it or its behind closed doors. Don't talk being a sex demon. Fucking be one. You.don't gotta brag about the walk if you are about it.

Also not sleeping around or whatever either. I want a fucking closed relationship. Not an open one with multiple people. No

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

You basically just do what he does though.

What exactly am I "doing"?

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

I know this feeling..exactly. I used to wish I could be in control of what I was attracted to ultimately....but I gave up...

I don't care how good it looks on paper...if I am not feeling it..it isn't gonna happen.

The problem was...I didn't pretend enough and my honesty was not appreciated as much as I think it should have been.

Yep. You're getting it.

And truth is, that honesty comes out in your actions even if you aren't up front with words. From the moment we meant, he texted me so many more times than I would text him back. We'd talk about doing things together down the line that we both like, but I'd never make the actual move towards doing them. I wasn't excited to get texts from him; to an extent, they felt like a burden.

Meanwhile, the more I learn about him, the more incredible he is, and the more I realize, holy fuck, he deserves someone who REALLY could love him. Someone who treats him like the great man he is, not a guy like me who, despite the awesomeness I see in front of me, just isn't that into him.

Like I know this is gonna end badly. I can feel it in my bones.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

In my eyes this is sufficient to both spend time with and have sex with someone on a serious basis.

That's the difference. In my eyes, caring for someone means friendship. Sleeping with someone you care for without am actual romantic longing can be dangerous, and end up hurting them.

Do you ever feel grateful that someone shows interest in you?

Always. But love isn't built on gratefulness alone. I'm grateful to have him in my life. But I'm worried that the more time we spend together, the more I realize I'm not that into him, the more I risk hurting him down the line.

 

[Gentleheart]

Yep. You're getting it.

And truth is, that honesty comes out in your actions even if you aren't up front with words. From the moment we meant, he texted me so many more times than I would text him back. We'd talk about doing things together down the line that we both like, but I'd never make the actual move towards doing them. I wasn't excited to get texts from him; to an extent, they felt like a burden.

Meanwhile, the more I learn about him, the more incredible he is, and the more I realize, holy fuck, he deserves someone who REALLY could love him. Someone who treats him like the great man he is, not a guy like me who, despite the awesomeness I see in front of me, just isn't that into him.

Like I know this is gonna end badly. I can feel it in my bones.

that's unfortunate.


If he has any sense, he'll get a clue eventually. Then he'll move on to find that person who can give him what you can't.

 

[eastofeden]

Yep. You're getting it.

And truth is, that honesty comes out in your actions even if you aren't up front with words. From the moment we meant, he texted me so many more times than I would text him back. We'd talk about doing things together down the line that we both like, but I'd never make the actual move towards doing them. I wasn't excited to get texts from him; to an extent, they felt like a burden.

Meanwhile, the more I learn about him, the more incredible he is, and the more I realize, holy fuck, he deserves someone who REALLY could love him. Someone who treats him like the great man he is, not a guy like me who, despite the awesomeness I see in front of me, just isn't that into him.

Like I know this is gonna end badly. I can feel it in my bones.

I understand..been in those shoes and know what it feels like.....

I used to feel bad because you understand the situation and like the other person and wish it could just be what it is...enjoy the moment...but you know they are building a picket fence for you and it is screwed because you know it isn't gonna happen....

This was maybe my biggest problem in my 20s and the problem is..you can't get anyone to listen to you or help you for the most part. I got a lot of eye rolls and smirks when I was trying to explain that I wasn't into guys that most people would spend a lot of time and energy trying to snag. They thought I was lucky...or whiny...I wished they would take them off my hands so I could breathe a little easier if they liked them so damn much....

I don't like anyone who talked about my appearance unless they already liked something else about me so at least I knew part of their approval came from WHO I was....and without that element..there is no way to go any further with me. Objectifying me is cool..as long as you just want a drink and tip me and want to keep me at arms length and are OK with it...but it is not cool if you want me to be in a relationship or "date" me....or even for casual sex.

I never looked for a husband...or a date...or wished I could "find a man"...I was a lot like you were once you know...and I had intended to stay single forever....and so it amuses me sometimes that I am with the same man for 30 years...but he did the one thing no one else did...he saw who I was....heard what I had to say...liked me for who I was instead of what he wanted me to be.....he likes my "weirdness"....

Who knew?...so simple....

 

[jbrown329]

refujiunderground, have to agree with you on the porn. I don't really like commercial porn (sorry Soilwork). I would rather watch the amateur stuff (xtube, etc). And I'm not into open relationships.

 

[refujiunderground]

Yep. You're getting it.

And truth is, that honesty comes out in your actions even if you aren't up front with words. From the moment we meant, he texted me so many more times than I would text him back. We'd talk about doing things together down the line that we both like, but I'd never make the actual move towards doing them. I wasn't excited to get texts from him; to an extent, they felt like a burden.

Meanwhile, the more I learn about him, the more incredible he is, and the more I realize, holy fuck, he deserves someone who REALLY could love him. Someone who treats him like the great man he is, not a guy like me who, despite the awesomeness I see in front of me, just isn't that into him.

Like I know this is gonna end badly. I can feel it in my bones.

Well, one thing, why were you not up front with him and just said to him at that moment that you realized you saw that he was really into you and you didn't feel comfortable because you weren't feeling him like that. Why lie?

You're at fault here. You are leading him when you shouldn't be. It's never a good thing to say things you don't mean.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

I'm not exactly saying things I don't mean. I'm not saying much at all. We hang out. And I've been trying to feel this out, but I feel like this could never be anything more than casual. He hasn't expressed to me in words that he wants or expects more from me, but I feel like it's something I should expect.

 

[DonQuixote]

Stopping by to invite those who know him to wish NotHardUp1 a Happy Birthday.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thr...ion-Thread?p=10246402&viewfull=1#post10246402

 

[sixthson]

I'm not exactly saying things I don't mean. I'm not saying much at all. We hang out. And I've been trying to feel this out, but I feel like this could never be anything more than casual. He hasn't expressed to me in words that he wants or expects more from me, but I feel like it's something I should expect.

You said you weren't looking for feelings, yet in this short post, you mention how you feel three times. You sense he has feelings for you that you aren't feeling back for him. Of course you are looking to feel something.

 

[refujiunderground]

I hate it when I constantly hear this blanket racist idea that black people in general are more homophobic than wHitepeople or the general population. Total bullshit. Wonder where this idea came from. Wouldn't surprise me if it came from some racist white gay folks with some power hating like how they always do.

 

[jbrown329]

I hate it when I constantly hear this blanket racist idea that black people in general are more homophobic than wHitepeople or the general population. Total bullshit. Wonder where this idea came from. Wouldn't surprise me if it came from some racist white gay folks with some power hating like how they always do.

Well, African Americans overwhelmingly voted for Prop8 in California. Yes, whites voted for it too. But if you take percentages.......