Humor-Satire Trump Staff Picks, Co-Conspirators and the Revolving Door of Departures [2024 Edition]

[KaraBulut]

This was so sloppily handled that hopefully a federal judge would be able to make it go away before it becomes more of a dark farce.

The tweets coming from Ka$h and Blondi in the past 24 hours are real headscratchers. Granted, the tweets are intended for the audience of [Orange] one, but they are revealing.

The account of the FBI Director blathers on about "those in positions of power will be held to account".

The account of the Attorney General of the US has been saying things like "we will follow the facts where they lead".

They don't seem to understand their roles and their jobs.

The FBI doesn't "hold people to account". They look for evidence of crimes. It's the justice system that ultimately decides and holds people to account, not the investigators. [hint: it's in the name of the Federal Bureau of Investigation]

The DOJ doesn't follow facts. They should be handed the facts by the investigators. Their job is to decide whether the facts found by the investigators may be in violation of a law. If you're following facts to where they lead, someone hasn't done an investigation!

This is a real shitshow. From what I hear the Federal Judges in the Virginia courts don't suffer fools. The fools in the Office of the FBI Director and the Office of the US Attorney General may be about to get a lesson.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I don't know how much direction a judge provides to a GJ panel, but I would hope that they would have enough not to embarrass themselves by setting up something that will fail immediately on the merits of the indictment if it goes to court.

Grand "jury" is a misnomer. The reason that the "ham sandwich" joke exists is that the prosecutor presents his case and there is no one making a case for the defense. It's very one sided and, unlike in a criminal court proceeding, the standard is "probable cause" and the prosecutor just needs a majority of jurors to vote to "indict". In this case, the grand jury voted 14-9 to indict.

Even with that relatively low bar, there has been a lot of instances where Trump's DOJ has been unable to get an indictment out of a Federal grand jury, most recently in the case of the "killer sandwich" indictment in DC.

 

[KaraBulut]

It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all, it's a small, small world.

In 2010, two women competed in the Trump-owned Miss Colorado pageant.

One of those women, the 3rd runner-up Lindsey Halligan is the interim US Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia. She's the bozo who filed the Comey indictment in Federal Court yesterday.

Another of the women, the 4th runner-up Erika Frantzsve, later become Miss Colorado Arizona in 2012. Miss Frantzve is better known today as Erika Kirk, wife of Charlie Kirk, and the now CEO of TPUSA.

 

[NotHardUp1]

Another of the women, the 4th runner-up Erika Frantzsve, later become Miss Colorado in 2012. Miss Frantzve is better known today as Erika Kirk, wife of Charlie Kirk, and the now CEO of TPUSA.

I believe you meant Miss Arizona.

 

[NotHardUp1]

View attachment 3278351

The absolute irony of Patel making the statement "no one is above the law" is at the level of theater of the absurd.

His master has quite publicly broken so many laws that the rule of law itself is being undermined broadly.

 

[KaraBulut]

The absolute irony of Patel making the statement "no one is above the law" is at the level of theater of the absurd.

His master has quite publicly broken so many laws that the rule of law itself is being undermined broadly.

The media is quivering with "Oh, no! Kash Patel said something that sounds like a threat!".

Meanwhile, I get this feeling like a child is acting out and very soon their parent is going to return and beat their ass.

George Will used to constantly remind Republicans that things change in Washington DC. When one party does things, they should always have in mind that when they are not in power, the other party will do the same to them.

I believe you meant Miss Arizona.

Ah, yes. You are correct. Maybe the women in Arizona were less competition?

 

[rareboy]

 

[rareboy]

Questions for the generals

Nearly every general officer of the United States Armed Forces, along with their senior enlisted advisors, have been ordered to report en masse to Quantico, Virginia, on Tuesday.

steveschmidt.substack.com

Let's see what the generals do when they are lectured by a second string FOX host with alcohol and anger management issues.

 

[Riverrick]

It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all, it's a small, small world.

Now that song is stuck in my head.

 

[KaraBulut]

I don't recall ever seeing media outlets referring to a cabinet official by a nickname, or repeatedly producing stories about their romantic interests.

Welcome to the new world of the Trump reality show where cabinet secretaries have hair, makeup and a video team producing media videos and commercials for them. And a world where an alleged extra-marital lover is hired and is part of the drama.

ICE Barbie Accused of Rushing Money to Rebuild Pier Near Alleged Lover’s Home

A project in Naples, Florida, was bogged down in red tape until a major donor made a phone call to Kristi Noem.

www.thedailybeast.com

ICE Barbie Accused of Rushing Money to Rebuild Pier Near Alleged Lover’s Home

The historic pier was badly damaged by Hurricane Ian in 2022, and frustrated city officials had been trying for months to get disaster assistance funds from the Federal Emergency Management Agency, which is overseen by Noem’s Department of Homeland Security, ProPublica reported.

But after donor Sinan Gursoy got involved, Noem quickly expedited more than $11 million to rebuild the pier, which is a couple of miles from a home owned by Noem’s de facto chief of staff Corey Lewandowski, according to ProPublica.

Noem and Lewandowski have long been rumored to be having an affair, which one official with President Donald Trump’s administration called the “worst-kept secret” in Washington, D.C. Both have denied being romantically involved.

ICE Barbie’s Alleged Lover Probed By White House Over Cheating Claim

Officials think Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s de facto chief of staff, Corey Lewandowski, has fudged his hours to avoid leaving his temporary position.

www.thedailybeast.com

ICE Barbie’s Alleged Lover Probed By White House Over Cheating Claim

Officials think Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s de facto chief of staff, Corey Lewandowski, has fudged his hours to avoid leaving his temporary position.

Trump Officials Address ICE Barbie Affair Rumors: ‘Worst-Kept Secret in D.C.’

Gossip about Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski has persisted for several years now.

www.thedailybeast.com

Trump Officials Address ICE Barbie Affair Rumors: ‘Worst-Kept Secret in D.C.’

Gossip about Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski has persisted for several years now.

Everyone Hates ICE Barbie’s Top Henchman—Including Trump

A new report reveals how Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem isn’t the only one making decisions, and even the president has taken notice.

newrepublic.com

Everyone Hates ICE Barbie’s Top Henchman—Including Trump
A new report reveals how Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem isn’t the only one making decisions, and even the president has taken notice.

'ICE Barbie's' savage 2-word response to illegal immigrants after she scores win

DEPARTMENT of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem issued a searing two-word message to illegal immigrants who tried to sue her after their lawsuit was dropped. Noem, who earned the name “…

www.the-sun.com

GI JANE ‘ICE Barbie’ Kristi Noem’s savage two-word response to illegal immigrants after she scores victory in Gitmo case

She shut down critics as she's offering $1,000 to self-deport

Trump’s Rival ICE Barbies Go Head-to-Head in Vests and Lip Gloss

South Carolina Rep. Nancy Mace rivaled homeland security secretary Kristi Noem with her own glam ICE raid getup.

www.thedailybeast.com

Trump’s Rival ICE Barbies Go Head-to-Head in Vests and Lip Gloss

South Carolina Rep. Nancy Mace rivaled homeland security secretary Kristi Noem with her own glam ICE raid getup.

Video Proves ICE Barbie’s Claim Her Goons Didn’t Know Padilla Was BS

The U.S. senator from California clearly identified himself to agents moving to detain him at DHS news conference.

www.thedailybeast.com

The U.S. senator from California clearly identified himself to agents moving to detain him at DHS news conference.

ICE Barbie Kristi Noem blames her grandkids for bag theft fiasco

Homeland Security Sec. Kristi Noem is finally dishing about what happened when she was robbed on Easter Sunday.

www.dailymail.co.uk

ICE Barbie's shocking claim about who's responsible for her $3k bag theft fiasco

 

[Thad1527]

What did you expect? She was persona non grata in one-third of the state she governed (the Native American lands of South Dakota).
RIP Cricket.

 

[KaraBulut]

What did you expect? She was persona non grata in one-third of the state she governed (the Native American lands of South Dakota).
RIP Cricket.

As governor, she was perennially under investigation for nepotism, spending scandals and accepting "gifts". There was only one place for her to go: the place that accepts grifters and con artists (aka the Trump Administration).

The Senate vote to confirm her was Yea-59, Nay-34, Not voting-7.

 

[rareboy]

Meanwhile:

 

[KaraBulut]

Meanwhile:

Before this exchange, former Miss Colorado runner-up Lindsey Halligan went to the wrong courthouse. She is so clueless that, even though she is the interim US Attorney for Eastern Virginia, she doesn't know where the Federal Courthouse is located.

Lindsey Halligan is already making mistakes prosecuting James Comey

Halligan’s first prosecution faces pressure as filing errors fuel doubts about experience and the strength of the Comey case.

www.newsweek.com

Lindsey Halligan’s Awkward Court Debut: What Went Wrong?

Key Takeaways Lindsey Halligan led a grand jury case against former FBI Director James Comey despite no criminal trial experience. Her solo courtroom appearance was highly unusual for a newly appointed U.S. attorney. Two different versions of the indictment caused confusion and prompted...

digitalchew.com

Genius Trump Attorney Submitted Wrong Comey Indictment Docs to Judge

Trump-installed DOJ attorney Lindsey Halligan is having a tough time with the indictment from the very start.

newrepublic.com

And there's more than one person pointing out that she's probably not legally the US Attorney:

Was Lindsey Halligan Validly Appointed as United States Attorney? | National Review

As I understand the facts, it seems highly doubtful that Lindsey Halligan has been validly appointed as United States Attorney in the Eastern District of Virginia. If her appointment is invalid, so…

www.nationalreview.com

 

[KaraBulut]

There's a group of animals that take up residence in nests and dens that were made by someone else.

In Jan, 2025 Trump fired the lesbian who was in charge of the Coast Guard. Admiral Linda Lee Fagan, a 40 year veteran of the Coast Guard, was originally told that she could remain in the Admiral's residence for 2 months. Instead, she was given 3 hours to vacate.

One of the first things that Trump did was fire the woman in charge of the Coast Guard. He used the excuse that she wasn't aggressive enough on immigration but then he said that she was "too DEI".

And to make an example of her, he kicked her out of her base housing, even though she had been granted 2 months to find new home. Then they gave her 3 hours notice to get out of her home only 2 weeks into her stay.

And guess who moved in? Rent-free!

https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5455189-noem-rent-free-coast-guard/

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has been staying rent-free in the home reserved for the top Coast Guard official following death threats, drawing scrutiny and criticism from congressional Democrats.

The Department of Homeland Security said it was a wide range of death threats, as well as reporting that showed the area around Noem’s Navy Yard condo that spurred the unusual arrangement at Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling, where the Coast Guard commandant typically lives.

The Coast Guard reports to DHS. Noem has not named a replacement to head up the Coast Guard... the longer the position remains unfilled, the longer Noem gets free housing in DC.

 

[KaraBulut]

Meet John Phelan. Mr Phelan gave nearly $900,000 to Trump's campaign. Mr Phelan owns an investment firm that is headquartered in Palm Beach, Florida.

That $900,000 bought him the Secretary of the Navy position in the Trump Administration!

Mr Phelan never served in the Navy. In fact, Mr Phelan has no military experience. Rumor has it that Mr Phelan may have had a boat when he was a young boy that he played with during bath time.

John Phelan, Trump donor, businessman with no prior military experience, poised to lead the Navy

John Phelan, President Donald Trump's pick to lead the Navy, says his background makes him the right candidate to fix the issues that have plagued the service.

federalnewsnetwork.com

John Phelan, Trump donor, businessman with no prior military experience, poised to lead the Navy

Businessman John Phelan, President Donald Trump’s pick to lead the Navy, says his background makes him the right candidate to fix the issues that have plagued the service, including workforce management issues, shipbuilding delays, cost overruns and failed audits.

Phelan, the founder of private investment firm Rugger Management, told the Senate Armed Services Committee on Thursday that his experience overseeing and funding large companies and “transforming organizations by fostering accountability and implementing strategic reforms” makes him the ideal candidate to lead the Navy.

Mr Phelan was confirmed by the Senate on 24-Mar-2025. The vote was Yea-62, Nay-30.

 

[rareboy]

The most unserious US regime ever. And they don't care. And the Senate doesn't care.

 

[KaraBulut]

Another one bites the dust...

https://thehill.com/business/5530292-ej-antoni-nomination-withdrawal/

President Trump on Tuesday withdrew the nomination of E.J. Antoni to serve as the next commissioner of the Bureau of Labor Statistics after ousting the previous head of the agency over criticism of jobs data.

Trump had announced in August that he would nominate Antoni, a top economist at the conservative Heritage Foundation, to lead the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

The Heritage Foundation confirmed late Tuesday that Antoni was returning to his role with the think tank.

 

[rareboy]

^ This guy ran inflammatory posts about gays? (I see what they did there...this guy is flaming so hard I can feel the heat up here)

 

[KaraBulut]

^ This guy ran inflammatory posts about gays? (I see what they did there...this guy is flaming so hard I can feel the heat up here)

https://forums.justusboys.com/attachments/im-jpg.3285472/

Funny you should mention that. I got a vibe from his pictures... Antoni reminded me of a CA State rep Scott Weiner.