Undying love for my best friend...please read(long

[texan_slant]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Hey Brian - I've been wondering where you've been; I was 'bout to send you a message when I saw that you revived the thread! Good to hear that everything is well. Take care!

 

[USEDCAR]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Good update i would get my phone number changed if i was you

 

[Eagle653]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I'm really glad to hear everything going so well! Thanks for coming by for the update. Keep us up to date on how you're doing.

 

[Artisticboy89]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

hmmm, this might be a bit of a leap here and I'm up really late and things seem to fit together when they obviously don't... But I play a online game with someone whose name is andrew who moved to las vegas recently who has been dating someone else (who plays the game with him) for several years (and just recently got married)...

This is a bit of a leap but... is the girl's name Amy?

 

[SupremeMACHiNE]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I just came across this thread. I'm happy to see everything is going well for you. i have a similar problem to what u had except i'm not as close to the friend that i love as much as u were with yours but i have a strong feeling we are working our way there. I havent came out with my friens since i havent told anyone yet. A little part of me dies everytime I have to act straight around him. I want to tell him that i have feelings for him and that i'm gay and such but I kno there is that slight chance it could ruin our friendship. sure i over exhaggerate bout this and want everything to move a whole lot faster to sex and marriagw. ( i guess it's just all the porn i watch ;p). I totally feel bad for lying to him the whole time i just wanna be able to kno what he'd say without telling me. Like you said with your friend, he acts like one of the regular guys but hopefully he's just covering it up like i am. This is honestly my first real love where i said "i want this to work". I just dont kno what else to say as i'm struggling to find words to explain how i feel. I hate love in the sense that it's so damn complicated.

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Hey guys back with another update of sorts.

I didnt really want to start a new thread on this, and figured it would be more appropriate to place here.

Tonight, at 32 years of age...I came out to my parents. I know 32 is old to be saying that, but to be honest I never imagined I would tell them, but it just came out. I never imagined telling them because my older brother is also gay...and while they accept him(dont like his partner though), they had a hard time with it...so telling them another one of their sons is gay was also hard.

And they took it hard. My dad was calm, but acting strange. Asking me all questions. My mom sat their sobbing. I wanted to talk about it and answer any questions but my mom didnt, she kept sobbing.

So things are a bit odd right now....I hope eventually she will come around...I tried talking with her a few minutes ago but I was advised by a friend to lay low and let her come to me....thoughts? Suggestions for me? Advice?

Bri..


P.S. Andrew has been calling me alot. I dont answer. I also refuse to change my number and go through that hassle on account of him...its easier just to ignore th calls..

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Your friend is wise. Let her come to you. You've let her know you're open to discussing it, so let her get her mind around it all, and she'll contact you once she's set.

Lex

 

[Eagle653]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Brian, congratulations. You knew it would be hard, and it was.

I agree with Lex to let her come to you. If, after a reasonable period of time, she doesn't, then you can broach the subject again and just let her know you're there if she wants to talk about it some more.

Good luck to all of you. Even though this was awkward and difficult, you'll all be better off (and eventually closer) than ever.

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Both of my parents hugged me today, and said that this doesn't change anything and that they couldn't love me more than they do already...so I guess they have started to come around to it

 

[backpacker]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Another great update. Looks like everything will be fine with your parents. I think back to the beginning of this thread and realize how far you have come. I definitely think you are on the right path now.

 

[SupremeMACHiNE]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

I am glad everything worked out in the end. However I'm still stuck at the beginning of your type of situation

I just came across this thread. I'm happy to see everything is going well for you. i have a similar problem to what u had except i'm not as close to the friend that i love as much as u were with yours but i have a strong feeling we are working our way there. I havent came out with my friens since i havent told anyone yet. A little part of me dies everytime I have to act straight around him. I want to tell him that i have feelings for him and that i'm gay and such but I kno there is that slight chance it could ruin our friendship. sure i over exhaggerate bout this and want everything to move a whole lot faster to sex and marriage. ( i guess it's just all the porn i watch ;p). I totally feel bad for lying to him the whole time i just wanna be able to kno what everyone would say without me having to come out. Like you said with your friend, he acts like one of the regular guys but hopefully he's just covering it up like i am. This is honestly my first real love where i said "i want this to work". I just dont kno what else to say as i'm struggling to find words to explain how i feel. I hate love in the sense that it's so damn complicated.

It would help a lot if you guys would offer advice in my thread
Thanks

 

[LostVegas]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

Thanks for all the continued support guys...more friends have found out now and the reaction is all positive...

Skittles...maybe when I make my first trip to Cali soon, Ill drop on by

And lastly, SupremeMachine....I have tons of advice to give you...but I have gone through what you are going through...and when people gave me advice it was great and the right thing to do...but it didn't help until I made choices for myself and acted upon that advice...so you see I can give you all the advice you don't want to hear or want to hear or need to hear...but in the end the ownness is on you...maybe it might help to read through my thread to see the mental/emotional stuff I was going through...I do know this...it will get better, in the end it usually does....Peace.

 

[InspireGAY]

Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(

wow...i just finished read all of this life story for 3 days...
i don't like the ending though...haha

but well...we all know, that fall in love with straight guys always give us a bad ending...

somehow, i feel so relate with your story...and feel so down lately, but after read your story, i think its time for me to move on too...

 

[LostVegas]

Well I didn't think I'd be updating too much anymore...but thought I would share this.

My phone rings and lately have been getting a few wrong numbers...and some texts from random people. Fine. No problem. I get a call tonight from a 718 area code which is NY.

I pick it up and it is Andrew. I was completely caught off guard and upset at first. Then I collected myself and we talked. He asked about me and although I felt like he didnt deserve to know anything about me...in an odd way I was all too ready to throw up in his face how my life has been better and moved on without him.

And I told him. I reluctantly asked about him and he said he got his high school diploma and he passed some tests to be put on a list to become a cop, but because of the economy he is not working now.

He said his wife lost the baby in January...and that they declared bankruptcy. He said he knows he used me and did the wrong thing with me in terms of his wedding...and wants nothing more than to be friends once more...he thanked me profusely for not hanging up on him. He said when I cut him out of his life in went through the deepest depression and sought counseling.

He was amazed at how much I moved on...

I did tell him I dont forsee how we can ever be close again. I said I am glad he moved on with his life as have I.

He called me from a friend's phone who happens to be visiting him there...I told him I wished talking to him was on my terms and not his, seeing I was caught off guard and not ready to speak to him...and then the call ended...I really dont know what to think...Sort of just feeling odd right now so I needed to vent.

Bri

 

[backpacker]

Brian, good job not being sucked in by him. I would be willing to bet that he still thinks he can suck some more out of you. If he truly cared for you, he wouldn't have treated you like he did.

Unfortunately by talking to him you fueled his belief that he can get back into your life. Continue to avoid his calls. If he calls in the future from an unknown phone, the best way to handle it is to politely say "I don't want to talk to you. Please don't call again. Goodbye." and hang up. Repeat as often as necessary.

 

[rareboy]

Brian, good job not being sucked in by him. I would be willing to bet that he still thinks he can suck some more out of you. If he truly cared for you, he wouldn't have treated you like he did.

Unfortunately by talking to him you fueled his belief that he can get back into your life. Continue to avoid his calls. If he calls in the future from an unknown phone, the best way to handle it is to politely say "I don't want to talk to you. Please don't call again. Goodbye." and hang up. Repeat as often as necessary.

He said when I cut him out of his life in went through the deepest depression and sought counseling.

I have no doubt that he's sizing everyone up to see what he can extract from them, whether it is validation, pity or cold hard cash. Miscarriage, bankruptcy, unemployment....their lives sound so charmed.
I'm surprised he didn't phone to tell you that he is thinking of dumping her and wants nothing more then to be with you and he's only just realized that...blah, blah, blah.

If he'd called to admit to you that he was diagnosed as a narcissist sociopath with psychopathic tendencies, then I'd think he'd made some progress in his counselling.

Oh, thank god you have got him out of your life.

 

[LostVegas]

Amen Rareboy, couldnt have said it better...and to the other poster it has been almost 8 months since I last spoke to him...bri

 

[LostVegas]

Wow, just had to update...first of all...for a good long while now my depression has been gone. Caput. Over. With no meds and real therapy...and since coming out to my family, things have been so much better...feeling the best I have ever felt in my life...my 30s are shaping up to be the best years of my life so far...Been talking to some great guys...going to meet one this week...and go on a date later this month with another....things are so good.

I have spoken to Andrew here and there...and it is SO good to have my life on track and be free with who I am that a call from him means hardly anything at this point....just thought YOUD love a few things he said(especially those following this thread a while back)

1-Still has no job
2-Only one friend in Vegas
3-Misses me and wants what he had back
4-Regrets getting married
5-Regrets getting the car he did..big payments
6.He is going through a depression and even thought about seeking therapy because Im not as close with him anymore...

now 7 and 8 are the doozies.....

6. Got a ticket and a court date for driving 100 miles OVER the speed limit at 160...his wife does not know and may face jail time....so long to that cop job I guess...

7. And lastly he asked me to pick an island to go to and he wants to go on vacation...just me and him...

When I told Latoya that we had a good laugh....even though Im so over him or speculating(trust me I am)...what TRULY straight MARRIED guy says that to a friend knows WAS into him...sad, sad, sad...

I dont like making fun or kicking someone while they are down...it aint my style....but Id say this is just desserts for what he put me through....


BRIAN

 

[spencer]

It's hard when someone from your past "comes around" and you've since moved on. You feel sorry for the guy but then you think, you put my life through shit and its about time you feel some of the shit I went through. It's about time that karma bite you in the ass.

I hope that people initally treat other people better in life in general so that not everyone has to go through heartache after heartache.

I'm glad you've truly moved on Brian. Good for you.

 

[frankfrank]

Thank you for updating us every so often. It's reasons like this, that I'm very happy that the daily emailed updates of subscribed threads is an option on our site. If I couldn't subscribe this way, I would surely lose touch with this great and evolving thread, located in a Forum which I almost never visit.

It's so good to see that things are going so much better, and you haven't even reached the top yet. There will of course be disappointments, but the millstone is no longer yoked to your neck. And despite the dire political and economic outlooks that persist nowadays, an individual can be very capable of living a wonderful and fulfilling life. They only need to find their own determination and drive, and it appears that you've found yours.

Even when there are no postings in here for months, I've never forgotten this thread, and I never will.