Watching Brad

[Friend1720]

Up to 174 on this third time through ... storm was awful and Ted's reaction was shades of the 'great separation.' Not sure that Ted ever really changed in his core, just adjusting as needed. Love parents of both Ted and Brad.

 

[gsdx]

Up to 174 on this third time through ... storm was awful and Ted's reaction was shades of the 'great separation.'

The storm was real. You may remember it sweeping across Ontario in a giant, destructive wave. I always knew they were going to England for the honeymoon, but, to be honest, what I know about England wouldn't pass muster in describing a 2-week honeymoon there. I threw in a few vague references (the Cotswolds, Nottingham & Robin Hood, etc.) just to make it sound as if I actually knew what I was talking about. That's why I timed the honeymoon to correspond to the storm, just to get them home almost before they left.

The truth is out. I feel liberated now.

 

[Friend1720]

Looking forward to the concluding epilogue(s). Will start read four with fresh eyes. Thanks!

 

[MrCollegeboi]

Mr. Neil,

I hope you don’t mind, I’d like to share my own gratitude for this story and how meaningful it has become to me.

I first started reading “Watching Brad” back in 2010, which was a good four years after you first began sharing it. I was a second year in college, and I had only just started the process of coming out to a few friends and family members. I stumbled across your story, and I remember staying up late and even skipping classes and meals to read your story.

That year was transformative for me in terms of learning to accept myself. I struggled with some depression, anxiety, and internal-homophobia. I was so afraid to accept and love myself, but through your story, I found comfort and inspiration in both Brad and Ted’s journey to self-love.

It really is amazing to me how much I can relate to Brad and Ted’s journey. Clearly, many of your readers feel the same, and it’s remarkable thinking that, through all these years, we can all celebrate and grieve and laugh and cry together throughout this story. On a personal level, there are so many moments that I have surprised myself with my own emotional reactions. I remember during one chapter when Brad is talking to Cali, and he says to her “Did you know that you’re black?” It was such a stunning moment for me. I am an adopted gay Filipino American who grew up in a very White, very small-minded town, and I’ve always been hyper-aware of ALL my differences. However, this moment in the story has always stuck with me because I love that Brad is so pure and kind and genuine and loving, and that he sees and loves people for WHO they are on the inside, not what they look like on the outside.

I’ve also been through two significant relationships while reading this story, and while I am now currently single, I have hope that I’ll find a man with similarly amazing qualities as both Ted and Brad. And of course, I’ve been through a handful of life-changing experiences since first stumbling upon your story. I either relate to similar life-changing experiences that Ted or Brad or other characters are going through, or I’ve found comfort in surprising places. For example, Ted and Brad’s mothers stood out to me during my most recent re-reading of the story. I lost my own mother to suicide just over a year ago, and while I will never be the same and will forever be healing from her loss, there was simple comfort in feeling all the doting love from both Brad and Ted’s mothers.

It took me eight years and numerous attempts to get caught up to your most recent chapter. However, each re-reading has been full of tears, laughter, frustration, fear, and numerous other reactions and emotions. You have created a story so real that I’ve found myself thinking about their journey as if they’re real-life friends.

Thank you for sharing such a magical journey with all of us, and for sharing so much of yourself even on the most challenging days. I am full of gratitude for your story and for what it has done for me. Many, many thanks.

Hugs and love,
—HP

 

[gsdx]

I remember during one chapter when Brad is talking to Cali, and he says to her “Did you know that you’re black?” It was such a stunning moment for me.

Thank you for your wonderful post, HP. I've actually had to wipe tears from my eyes reading it. Thank you.

A lot of events in the story are from real-life experiences I've had. The one you mentioned actually happened to me many years ago. There is a man that I've known here in Peterborough since the 80s. He is from Jamaica. He has black skin (not brown) and, although his hair is now white, it, too, was jet black. He still wears the dreadlocks he wore when I met him. As far as I was concerned, he was Jamaican. That was it (although he spoke with a gentle, soothing accent).

One day, my roommate and I were walking to a computer store a block away. We met Milton half-way there and stood talking to him for a few minutes. It was summer. The sky was clear and the sun was bright. At one point, Milton turned his head to just the right angle that it caught the sun in such a way that his face actually began to glow and it was like I was seeing him for the first time. I said, "My God, you're black!"

I apologised and he laughed and told me not to worry about it, but, after all the years I'd known him, it was the first time that I had noticed that he was. It came as quite a surprise to me.

Brad may be based physically on a friend of mine, but there is a lot of me in him, too.

Thanks again.
Neil

PS - We almost lost Milton a few years ago to cancer, but he beat it. He's in his 70s now, but he's still with us.

 

[frankfrank]

Re MrCollegeboi's post, RIGHT THERE, gsdx, your story has achieved its mission entirely. Everything else, including what it did to me, or to anybody else who posted, or anybody who did NOT post, is gravy.

And thank you MrCollegeboi for sharing your reactions with us.

 

[jrsons]

I first want to say that I came across this beautiful story by accident looking for something good to read! I was hooked from the first chapter! I have reserved commenting until now at the end of Part XXXVIII.

I love the relationship between Ted and Brad, at least most parts of it!!! Only a few things have really bothered me in the entire story so far. Number 2 was Brad getting on his knees to give a strange cab driver a blow job. Did he put a rubber on the strangers dick? Did he swallow his load? Does he even understand the risk he took and the risk he placed on Ted by that stupid act! It had nothing to do with him acting like a cheap whore! Which bothered me very much as well!
Even his desperate situation to get home after his mugging was not enough in my mind to justify what he did. Then to lie to Ted like he did about all of it initially, and throwing his little tantrum and treating Ted like he was at fault for all of it after worrying him to death added to my disappointment in Brad! I know he is young, sheltered, and a very naive young man, but why would he not get to a phone and call Ted for help... It bothered me Big Time, and made no sense to me at all.

Now for the reason for this comment at this point! I feel very frustrated that Brad takes second place with Ted concerning Lindsay. How long does Ted feel that he will be satisfied being a second class Citizen in his home? He has already basically made Brad feel like his stay at home second class wife in many ways, with all the domestic duties he has pushed onto him! Brad seems to feel that it is his duty to behave like a good little submissive wife!! Children as important as they are should never be put first in a committed adult relationship! Its almost a guarantee for the relationship to fail in my opinion!! This one thing has pricked at me now through most of this story. I love the way Ted treats and loves Brad, I hate that he cannot make him number one, and Brad deserves to be number one, and so does Ted!! I have nothing against the adorable little unicorn fairy girl. She should be very valued and loved. But she is a child, she should not be so involved with the adult decisions of the household!!! She is not Teds partner, she is a child and should be treated as such... not his committed lover and partner in the family. Is anyone going to realize that Brad needs to be, and absolutely should be number one for Ted if this relationship has any hope of enduring long term. Why would Brad even consider staying with Ted knowing that he takes second place in importance to Lindsay! Maybe he should find someone that will make him number one! I really don't understand it at all! So now that its looking like Ted is planning to adopt two more children, is that going to push Brad to number four??? Ted needs to make Brad his life committed equal partner, and make him number ONE in importance!! Brad is very submissive to every whim from Ted... I hope to see Brad take his place as an equal and responsible partner in this relationship!! Other wise in my opinion he will become tired of knowing he comes in second or forth in importance to Ted... I just don't know why anyone else reading this awesome story has not felt the same way I feel about this and commented on it before now!! Other than these couple of major issues. I am absolutely loving the story...

 

[gsa1234]

I love the relationship between Ted and Brad, at least most parts of it!!! Only a few things have really bothered me in the entire story so far. Number 2 was Brad getting on his knees to give a strange cab driver a blow job. Did he put a rubber on the strangers dick? Did he swallow his load? Does he even understand the risk he took and the risk he placed on Ted by that stupid act! It had nothing to do with him acting like a cheap whore! Which bothered me very much as well!

I may be wrong, but as far as I can remember, Brad only contemplated giving a cab driver a blow job, it did not really happen.

 

[jrsons]

This bothers me so much more, each time i read this declaration right in front of Brad... Now I'm really pissed off about it! Its wrong to place a child ahead of your lover and almost life companion! "Okay, this one I had been expecting. "Never, Sweetheart," I assured her. "I'll always love you just a little bit more than anyone else.

"Just like Brad?"

I nodded. "Just like Brad."

She dropped out of her chair and climbed up into my lap so she could give me a huge, warm hug. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, Sweetheart," I told her. "More than anyone else in the world."

"Even Brad?"

I smiled at her and nodded. "Even Brad."

She smiled at me and stuck her tongue out at Brad. Of course, Brad stuck his out at Lindsay.

Brad should start looking for someone younger, nearer his own age that will make him # 1!!!! Ted is so wrapped up in all his wants and needs, he can't see past his nose. Or even consider how this must make Brad feel! I hate it!!! Move on Brad... Maybe after you leave this idiot, he will understand his mistake!!!

 

[gsdx]

Brad should start looking for someone younger, nearer his own age that will make him # 1!!!! Ted is so wrapped up in all his wants and needs, he can't see past his nose. Or even consider how this must make Brad feel! I hate it!!! Move on Brad... Maybe after you leave this idiot, he will understand his mistake!!!

I'm sorry you feel this way, but you're certainly not getting out of it what I have spent years putting into it. If you haven't been reading the responses between chapters, you will not know that this story was supposed to be 3 or 4 chapters long. (It's currently over 200.) I never intended for them to fall in love in the first place let alone enter into a relationship.

Brad doesn't know why he loves Ted and Ted doesn't know why he loves Brad, and that's because I don't know why, either. It wasn't supposed to happen.

I will tell you one thing, though. Brad would never allow himself to come between Ted and Lindsay, and he would never allow Ted to put him above his daughter. It would be completely out of character for him to do so.

 

[jrsons]

WOW... such a big surprise! NOT... As much as I am loving reading this very well written and addicting story! And I am!! This does not surprise me at all... Brad's reaction! I don't know for sure what has him panicked to the point he now seems to be, maybe there are some secrets! But I wonder if just maybe he is not OK with being "Second or Forth" to Ted's true love... his children!!

Brad's nose has been openly rubbed in that fact now for many chapters. Why would he want to be Ted's partner when it is only two clear that he takes a back seat always to the kids. As wonderful as Ted is in almost every other way, and all that he gives to all involved, its time for him to recognize that in importance and love Brad has been required to be second at best behind these children! I am surprised frankly that Brad has stuck around this long, and been as supportive as he has been. Especially after Ted made this issue so very clear when he all but attacked Brad the time Lindsay had food poisoning... That should have been a Huge red flag to Brad and Ted both. A solid committed marriage or partnership has no solid foundation to begin when the persons involved are not the most important, most valued, and most loved!

It was long past time for Ted to get this wake up call!!! I only hope that it is not to late now for things to be made right between Ted and Brad! As sad as this is, I am not at all surprised that it has finally surfaced, and in a very Big Way!!

 

[jrsons]

"I will tell you one thing, though. Brad would never allow himself to come between Ted and Lindsay, and he would never allow Ted to put him above his daughter. It would be completely out of character for him to do so."

You said it yourself, Brad doesn't know why he loves Ted, or what he wants from this relationship. I am beginning to feel that what I want for Ted and Brad, has no chance of happening now at all, unless feelings and desires change drastically between both of them! I guess I am missing the whole point of the story!!

It seems that there lies the real problem then!! As I continue to read, I hope to be able to figure out what the intended purpose of this story really is. If its not about two men falling in love and trying to make a life together!

I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, with all the hard work you have put into writing this amazing story! Its just how I see it, its only my opinion! But its honest! You say they were never intended to fall in love! Well it seems that they have! So what were they suppose to be just friends with benefits, while doing almost everything a committed married couple with children does together! I guess I have missed something Big as I have read everything to this point! It is just not a normal relationship... Nothing about it!! No worries... I will refrain from commenting any further... and keep my honest opinions to myself!!

 

[jrsons]

OK now I'm feeling very bad for my frustrated, even Nasty comments! This is what I have been waiting for, and none to patiently! I need some of those Kleenex now as well....

Beautiful chapter... Brad is such a strange, but beautiful character! He does things his own way. Seems that he is coming into his own now... Watch out Ted!! I loved this chapter! Great Story.... Gay male relationships very rarely seem or feel all that normal! This story portrays so much that feels very normal as we watch both Brad and Ted become themselves together. I am certain rough times lye ahead for them. But you can feel the Love between them, almost right from day one! Thanks for writing this beautiful story, and for all of the hard work that you have invested in doing so Neil! I am a hopeless romantic, I have never had what these two characters already have together! And I want it desperately!!

 

[Friend1720]

Finished the fourth read using the docx files. Pulled tighter and actually comfortably ended. That doesn't mean I can ever let Watching Brad fade away, but his and Ted's future will now be in my imagination. You will always hold a warm spot in my heart. Many thanks for a powerful work that has touched so many aspects of my real and missing life.

Vincent Journey ....

 

[dazedato]

Neil, I hate to be a bother, but do you have a PDF available of you story Watching Brad? It's been years since I last read your story and would love to revisit Ted and Brad's journey.

 

[gsa1234]

@dazedato, thanks for bumping this story to the front page, I'm off sick and busy with my 4th re-read of Watching Brad . If there is a PDF or word file available please let me know as well, just so much easier.

Neil, thx again for this GREAT story, hope everything is still going good with you.

 

[frankfrank]

Great to see this bumped back to the front page. It should be in MY consciousness and practice to occasionally do so.

I'll be 73 years old in less than six weeks and I consider "Watching Brad" to be, without any doubt, the best fiction that I have ever read in my lifetime. No, let me go a step farther: it's the best *ANYTHING* that I have ever read**. Their love for each other is beyond anything that 97% of us can even hope to ever imagine, and beyond anything that 99.99% of us will actually ever experience. Even the most special relationship WILL have rough spots which must be confronted. It's inevitable.

**I HOPE it becomes the second-best thing that I have ever read. Reading, in November, that the most existential threat to human life and the planet itself won't be around much longer, would actually be BETTER than gsdx's book!!

I actually do know two couples whose love for each other would be considered to be UNCONDITIONAL, which is true of Ted and Brad...relationships are common, but unconditional ones are excessively rare! One special relationship is the gay couple who I know "out East". They've recently celebrated their 50th anniversary in love (and they got married as soon as it was legal in New Jersey); they have actually included ME unconditionally as a third person when I visit there. Almost surely it's the deepest relationship I've ever had with another person, even as rare and occasional as those trips are. There's NO chance they'll get to Chicago - they hate traveling!!

The BEAUTY of the story made me cry almost countless times while reading it. "Crying-of-the-best-kind": YES, the kind of crying as an emotional reaction to something extraordinarily beautiful, can be wonderful! That quote "Are you our new daddy?" STILL hits me LIKE A TON OF BRICKS...my "waterworks" were intense that first time...and I'm not even a "children type of guy"...AT ALL which makes my intense reaction a total paradox.

I've told myself for years that I NEED TO PRINT IT ALL OUT and get it bound into my own personal copy of a *BOOK* which I would forever cherish.

As for Ted loving the children even more than Brad...consider there is an added dynamic with the children that people don't think about. Of course the children, Brad, and Ted, are ALL PART OF THE SAME FAMILY. OK, it's entirely fair for Ted to love his children. They're part of the family, and a family SHOULD be maintained as a well-functioning unit - WHEN the parents are capable of doing so, as both Ted and Brad are eminently capable. However, besides the children being part of the family, Ted (and Brad) are *BUILDING HUMAN BEINGS*! This is an extraordinary task (which I cannot even fathom), and with that additional task aimed at the children, it IS appropriate to love them "more."

Brad understands that, too.

 

[Kulindahr]

^
Well said!

 

[hungbuzz]

Can't wait for part 2

 

[2lennyzanda]

I have only just got back to this after a quite a while away from having access. Do you have a link to the different file formats? as Id like to continue where I left off (if I could remember) Thanks again and from what I have read so far here a lot has happened so im looking forward to getting back into it. Cheers from Australia