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Weirdest thing someone said to you when you told them you were gay.
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irudesan
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First Post!
The first person i told was my staight ex best friend, (he was 22 and i was 19, we were in the same class, and i was absolutely in love with him for like 1 and a half year) he said: "Hmm that explains why you didnt care about Clarissa..." then he said "Have you yet had sex?"
I thought WTF! (i mean i was crying when i told him "i was homosexual") haha, after that he told me everything was alright, but in the end he changed, got away from me and got a girlfrined (we were very close, and always together... even slept together sometimes in the same bed), then he had to do the next semester again and we are now in separate classes. I dont get to see him that much, but everytime we see each other, after 2 years, it seems like nothing had changed (though it has). Sometimes i tell him comments like "hey that beard looks pretty sexy on you" and he just laughes and stare and me.
And the best part is that im not in love with him anymore!
The first person i told was my staight ex best friend, (he was 22 and i was 19, we were in the same class, and i was absolutely in love with him for like 1 and a half year) he said: "Hmm that explains why you didnt care about Clarissa..." then he said "Have you yet had sex?"
I thought WTF! (i mean i was crying when i told him "i was homosexual") haha, after that he told me everything was alright, but in the end he changed, got away from me and got a girlfrined (we were very close, and always together... even slept together sometimes in the same bed), then he had to do the next semester again and we are now in separate classes. I dont get to see him that much, but everytime we see each other, after 2 years, it seems like nothing had changed (though it has). Sometimes i tell him comments like "hey that beard looks pretty sexy on you" and he just laughes and stare and me.
And the best part is that im not in love with him anymore!
M
mabby7
Guest
First Post!
...
And the best part is that im not in love with him anymore!
Don't you want to be in love with him?
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Don't you want to be in love with him?
Nah, being in love with a straight guy where you have no chance of getting together is just miserable. I had one of those for about two years and then he moved away and I never saw him again. Then I realized about seven years later that I had always stayed in love with him but that it was very unhealthy. I had to do a lot of soul searching and meditation to be able to let go. I was invited on a spiritual retreat out in the desert by a friend of mine and she told me to bring along something to put in a sacrificial fire, something to be released into the Universe. So I took a song I had written about this guy and my love for him and I wrote the lyrics on a piece of paper. I put it in the fire and said goodbye for good, then walked out into the desert alone and cried for a long while. It was a wonderful experience. You can't hold something like that inside for so long and not have it affect you.
The funny thing is that after all that I ran into an old friend who informed me that she was dating him. She gave me his number and we talked on the phone (we were now on opposite coasts). It was very nice to talk with him and see he was doing okay, but it was simply as old friends. Whatever feelings I had for him had faded, so I was left with just happy memories.
irudesan, you sound like you are in a good place over this. It's good to move on, you'll be much happier. You'll be able to meet someone who loves you as much as you love them and it will be more incredible than a one sided crush. Trust me. I've been dating the man of my dreams for the past two months and I've never been happier in my entire life.
irudesan
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Well, actually i had a pretty hard time when that happened, it took me like 2 and a half year, but now im sure im not in love with him anymore, when i see him i dont feel "that thing" i just feel as happy as when i see another friend. And no, i dont want to be in love with him!! it was very painful and miserable, like DonDon said...
BTW im glad for you DonDon, things actually can be better without a one sided love (specially with a straight guy). Thanks for your comments
BTW im glad for you DonDon, things actually can be better without a one sided love (specially with a straight guy). Thanks for your comments
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M
mabby7
Guest
I went to have a coffee with my 2 best girl friends and the conversation went like this:
Girlfriend 1: So we heard that you were going out with someone but .. mmm.. you tell him..
Girlfriend 2: ohh yes yes.. but that someone was not like us.. i mean she was not a she .. it was more like...
G1: More like a he.. i mean he definitely was a he... a boy
Me: Oh yes but I stop seeing him like 2 weeks ago
G2: Ohh so it means that..
G1: You really are?
Me: Yes i am
G1: Thats great!!
G2: That means you will have to join us when going shoe shopping!!
What is it with girls and shopping ... lols? Don't get me wrong, I like clothes and stuff, but I kinda "dislike" shopping.
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You know, I appreciate when someone tries to meet you at your level but people sometimes have the strangest misconceptions of what it means to be gay. After I came out this friend of mine was all excited because she had someone she wanted to fix me up with. She said, "You have so much in common, he's GAY too!!!". Turned out to have absolutely nothing in common with the guy and I couldn't wait to get away from him. I appreciated that she wanted to help, but use your brain, saying that any random two gay people would want to date is like saying any random straight guy would date any random straight girl. And then I had a friend who ran around saying how I was her little gay friend who would take her shopping and help her pick out outfits and stuff. I never did that, it was such a bizarre lie. LOL!
M
mabby7
Guest
I realized that by reading people's posts on JUB that gay guys can be as different as apples and bananas.
snoopydog
Porn Star
When I was 16, I lived in an orphanage. There was this guy. He was 17. Tall, blond, braces, thin. We made out every night for like 2 weeks. I honestly loved him in a teenaged, airhead way. We were found out by a staff member. I had to see the orphanage's psychologist. He told me that if I was gay when I was an adult, then that was fine, but as long as I was under 18, I could not be having sex with the other guys there.
When I was 19, I was homeless. I closeted myself after leaving the orphanage. I was hanging out at this guy's apartment with some other people. The guy asked me if I was gay. First thought in my head was 'I'm getting a beating if I say yes'. BUt I was young and dumb. I said yes. He said that it was alright, he just wanted to know the truth.
I moved from the state shortly after that, and remained closeted until I was 37. I was talking to this female online on a forum. She had a way of making me reveal myself somehow. We talked for months. She eventually helped me to find the courage to come out. The first person that I told was my employer. He cried and hugged me. He told me that his son's sister-in-law is also gay. My employer is a saint. My job is a caregiver, and I've been taking care of his mother (90 years old with Alzheimer's related dementia) for 3 years, and took care of his aunt and uncle for 12 years before that.
Next I told his cousin (the son of the previous aunt and uncle), and he cried, and then him and his wife and I went out to eat. Another great guy.
Then I told my birth mother ( I talk to her on the phone FTTT ). I had her sit down, and told her that I'm gay. She still thinks that it was a conscious choice that I made, but she told me that I had to be happy with myself. The fact that I have had an openly gay older brother for years probably influenced her reaction.
My younger brother said that he'd always known. I asked him how he knew, and he said 'I dunno. I just did'.
I told the pastor of the church that I am a member of. He told me to go back into the closet. That made me cry. I gave it a lot of thought, and then I went and got my ear pierced. There isn't a name that you could call me nor a beating that you could give me that would be worse than those miserable, suicidal years in the closet.
I recently found out about a brother of mine that is also gay. I've probably spoken to him 3 times in my life (I grew up in orphanages and foster care). He has a partner. They're both HIV+. They're doing fine right now. A day will come when they won't be, though. I only hope that, when the time comes, they will allow me to care for them. I've been a caregiver for 21 years, and am currently taking classes to become a CNA, then I'll take first aid classes and be certified in, both, nursing assistance AND first aid. My brother hasn't seen me or spoke to me in 28 years, though. He's 8 years older than me, and I was in an orphanage from the age of 2. We didn't grow up together. But yesterday he gave me his telephone number. I'm wanting to call him, but worried about how well it would go.
Oh, and that female on that forum that I talked to came out in the end herself and has a partner. They are soo in love. I'm very happy for the both of them.
When I was 19, I was homeless. I closeted myself after leaving the orphanage. I was hanging out at this guy's apartment with some other people. The guy asked me if I was gay. First thought in my head was 'I'm getting a beating if I say yes'. BUt I was young and dumb. I said yes. He said that it was alright, he just wanted to know the truth.
I moved from the state shortly after that, and remained closeted until I was 37. I was talking to this female online on a forum. She had a way of making me reveal myself somehow. We talked for months. She eventually helped me to find the courage to come out. The first person that I told was my employer. He cried and hugged me. He told me that his son's sister-in-law is also gay. My employer is a saint. My job is a caregiver, and I've been taking care of his mother (90 years old with Alzheimer's related dementia) for 3 years, and took care of his aunt and uncle for 12 years before that.
Next I told his cousin (the son of the previous aunt and uncle), and he cried, and then him and his wife and I went out to eat. Another great guy.
Then I told my birth mother ( I talk to her on the phone FTTT ). I had her sit down, and told her that I'm gay. She still thinks that it was a conscious choice that I made, but she told me that I had to be happy with myself. The fact that I have had an openly gay older brother for years probably influenced her reaction.
My younger brother said that he'd always known. I asked him how he knew, and he said 'I dunno. I just did'.
I told the pastor of the church that I am a member of. He told me to go back into the closet. That made me cry. I gave it a lot of thought, and then I went and got my ear pierced. There isn't a name that you could call me nor a beating that you could give me that would be worse than those miserable, suicidal years in the closet.
I recently found out about a brother of mine that is also gay. I've probably spoken to him 3 times in my life (I grew up in orphanages and foster care). He has a partner. They're both HIV+. They're doing fine right now. A day will come when they won't be, though. I only hope that, when the time comes, they will allow me to care for them. I've been a caregiver for 21 years, and am currently taking classes to become a CNA, then I'll take first aid classes and be certified in, both, nursing assistance AND first aid. My brother hasn't seen me or spoke to me in 28 years, though. He's 8 years older than me, and I was in an orphanage from the age of 2. We didn't grow up together. But yesterday he gave me his telephone number. I'm wanting to call him, but worried about how well it would go.
Oh, and that female on that forum that I talked to came out in the end herself and has a partner. They are soo in love. I'm very happy for the both of them.
snoopydog
Porn Star
Lemme tell ya. I'm pretty much at the point where almost any man will do.
I'm like "He has a heartbeat? Sure! I'll date him!"
boy-i-wanna-make-u-sweat
On the Prowl
Wow, that's worthy of a novel.
M
mabby7
Guest
Haha.
I wish a married guy would say that to me.
Not funny.
umimherekinda
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a friend of mine made a comment to me once
him: "since you're the lead singer of a band, i bet you get a lot of chicks"
me: "im gay"
him: (without hesitation) "since you're the lead singer of a band, i bet you get a lot of dudes"
i tend to befriend people that have no gay friends. something i notice with people like that are awkward, abrupt "good for you's" or long, drawn out, forced supportive speeches on gay rights and how we don't have a choice whether we're gay or not. it's kind of encouraging seeing such a clear dichotomy in comfort between me and someone else.
him: "since you're the lead singer of a band, i bet you get a lot of chicks"
me: "im gay"
him: (without hesitation) "since you're the lead singer of a band, i bet you get a lot of dudes"
i tend to befriend people that have no gay friends. something i notice with people like that are awkward, abrupt "good for you's" or long, drawn out, forced supportive speeches on gay rights and how we don't have a choice whether we're gay or not. it's kind of encouraging seeing such a clear dichotomy in comfort between me and someone else.
