What’s With Mindy’s White-Guy Obsession on ‘The Mindy Project’?

[JPGhost]

I think you hit the nail on the head, some of the middle to upper class Asians such as the Indo Americans, Chinese ect. they do feel there are superior to black people they definitely think they are better.

The American media definitely depicts the Asian Americans as the "model minority" who strive to be closer to whiteness. Now I am not saying, people should not strive hard to move up the social ladder.

But I do get this sense, that some of the middle to upper class Asian Americans definitely think marrying white, means, they fit into the white American cultural fabric.

It is something that is not discussed in the media or pop culture the racism between people of colour.

I definitely think a lot of Asian families would freak out about their daughters or sons marrying a black person.

I remember a sad case a few years ago, I think it was in the American south in Atlanta, a South Asian man married a black woman, and the South Asian man's father had the black wife MURDERED!

It shocked and stunned a lot of people, but as someone such as myself from Canada, where honour killings is a hot button issue I wasn't surprised at all about that sad case.

Also, since some Asians strive to a part of the white mainstream, having their daughters marrying a white man, means they are closer to whiteness.

I definitely get this sense that a lot of Asian people look down on black folks, and yet black people are the ones who fought hard in America for civil rights which Asian benefit from.

Woah...I feel bad for the whole community- there are close minded people everywhere. But hold your ground Morressey..Im very far from black culture- literally and unaware of how black-asian interaction in here. What I know that my profile got alot black guys giving a hint to topping me-- but that's another story.

But nothing extra ordinary ever happened here between black vs. asian...I can say, those asians who did honor killings etc are mostly- either 'traditional' chinese or japanese with serious status issue. You cant say they represent all east-south east asian because many of asian culture usually permissive- they might weep/ threw tantrum but rarely goes that far.

Only "specific" family with status issue- might goes that far and I feel bad for a black woman who died in the conflict. It's ridiculously horrible.

 

[zombiekiller]

Speaking as an Asian guy, I don't care that people don't date Asian guys because we're Asian. I really don't, not anymore. I do care, however, whether they admit it or not.

I've been making this observation for years, that Asian women tend to gravitate toward white guys. They will deny this up and down, and the more they deny, the more likely they actually have a white boyfriend.

Again, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. Quite the opposite. If they want to only date white guys, god bless them. I don't really care. I do care, however, whether they admit it or not.

I've dated black, white, and Hispanic guys and girls. And while I've tried really really hard to find an Asian date (men or women I don't care), I have failed to find one willing to date another Asian guy like me.

Again, I don't care who or what they want to date. Just don't try to deny that they only like white guys, or black guys, or whatever. It's not a bad thing. Don't try to deny it as if it's a bad thing.

Regarding the Mindy project, this is the first time I've heard of this show. It does, however, reflect exactly what guys like me have observed for years.

 

[JPGhost]

Speaking as an Asian guy, I don't care that people don't date Asian guys because we're Asian. I really don't, not anymore. I do care, however, whether they admit it or not.

I've been making this observation for years, that Asian women tend to gravitate toward white guys. They will deny this up and down, and the more they deny, the more likely they actually have a white boyfriend.

Again, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. Quite the opposite. If they want to only date white guys, god bless them. I don't really care. I do care, however, whether they admit it or not.

I've dated black, white, and Hispanic guys and girls. And while I've tried really really hard to find an Asian date (men or women I don't care), I have failed to find one willing to date another Asian guy like me.

Again, I don't care who or what they want to date. Just don't try to deny that they only like white guys, or black guys, or whatever. It's not a bad thing. Don't try to deny it as if it's a bad thing.

Regarding the Mindy project, this is the first time I've heard of this show. It does, however, reflect exactly what guys like me have observed for years.

Well..but trust me, there are minority of asian woman whose not whitewashed as most asian girls are..I have not too far away sample: My sister. Her husband is vietnamese ^^
My mom also find white guys repulsive..so maybe it's genetic. I have BIGGER fascination to white man than all my family combined. Does my dad loves white woman? idk
but hence..I become totally international like right now.
As for your lack of luck finding asian guys as mate maybe it's because your luck, it's still relative assumption because that's not happening with me.

 

[JPGhost]

would venture to say that it does matter and that the message being sent to young minority women who watch “The Mindy Project” – whether they realize it or not — is that the measure of success is not just working your way to the top of your profession but that the ideal signifier for that success is a white partner.

And as for non-white men watching the show, it only reinforces the prevailing standard of attraction that ranks them lower on the desirability scale in our culture.

It taps into some very deeply ingrained beliefs about race that have become so natural to us that we don’t even notice them anymore. Except, I contend that we do on a very deep level and it affects how we feel about ourselves and how we feel others feel about us.

It does ..subconsciously making us (asian/colored/brown wtver) like fetcher/lower in dating scheme. I support that statement by treatments I receive both online/offline, but I think it's not all that..I think the smell of fetish also 'strong' from both sides to make it happen
It's like for better or worst? Love or lust?

 

[bankside]

The American media definitely depicts the Asian Americans as the "model minority" who strive to be closer to whiteness. Now I am not saying, people should not strive hard to move up the social ladder.

What does "whiteness" mean in this context? At first I wondered if you meant physically? Like when asian women get eyelid surgery? And then you mentioned the social ladder and now I'm confused.

 

[Pcp3t3]

Great article: http://www.thewrap.com/fox-mindy-project-season-2-premiere






The reason I didn't put this in the Entertainment Forum is because this isn't about the plot or anything, but it follows a race discussion that we've had. I recently came under fire when I said that media messages tell minorities to put White men on a pedestal.

I believe not only that the media does do this, but because it's become so normalized most of the time, we don't register it as anything abnormal.

Every show appears to have a white prince charming.

 

[JayQueer]

OMG Thank you for this thread

I'm an Indian-American gay man (same ethnicity as Mindy Kaling). Just like Mindy Kaling's parents, my parents immigrated to the US from India.

OMG, I have a White-Guy obsession too!! I wish White guys would notice me though. It's so frustrating!!! I know straight White guys who have told me before how hot & sexy they find Indian women..........but gay White guys only go for other gay White guys.....WHY!?!

White gay men never notice me..........they only go for White guys, or occasionally Latino or Asian guys. But never Indian guys.....

It's so annoying! White gay men love to talk about "diversity", "inclusion" etc etc, they move to diverse cities like NYC or San Francisco, but then all of their boyfriends are as white as they are.

Life is really hard being an Indian bottom!!

 

[MorrisseyX]

I think Hawaii Five-0 the new version Is the MODERN ONLY show I can think of that shows Asian American men as sexually attractive and as HUNKS!

I got to give the casting department CREDIT for showing Asian American men as sexual beings, they get the hot women, they get to have sex scenes, they get to be STUDS, they get to be MEN.

We need more shows like Hawaii Five O, because I am tired of Asian American men being depicted as geeks like on Big Bang Theory, or only speak with accents. Why can't an Indian American male character not be a doctor or be a nerd?

If you look at Hawaii Five O, the Asian men on that show are SEXY, they are also FLAWED people they aren't perfect which is good.

Now, some will say the Asian men on Hawaii Five O conform to the other stereotype of Asian men being gangsters or criminals.

But, I think Hawaii Five O has a balance, at least on that show Asian men are depicted as MASCULINE HETEROSEXUAL MEN.

My goodness, Chin, and Adam Nishimori those guys are fucking HOT!!! Also, there are a plethora of very sexy, hot, muscular Asian men on Hawaii Five O.

Okay, yes, there is the geeky science guy as well, BUT the majority of the Asian men on Hawaii Five O are STUDS.

 

[MorrisseyX]

I read Morrissey's whiteness to mean cultural assimilation. White middle-class values.

There really isn't such a thing any more as more ethnicities make it into the middle class (even though more people are falling out of the middle class in America), and the markers of class become less and less racially defined.

I disagree, Jasbir Puar an Asian American feminist wrote a book a few years ago called Terrorist Assemblages, and in that book Puar talked about the ascendency to whiteness. According to Puar, people of colour are indeed told through cultural scripts the closer to whiteness they are the more acceptable they are.

Black feminists have also written about how black women are brainwashed into believing if they wear weaves, or bleach their skin, they will become more acceptable to white America.

In Africa, India and Asia as well millions of women bleach their skin, to look as white as possible to fit into the standard of beauty which pop culture tells women of colour that to LOOK WHITE means you've MADE IT.

People of colour are definitely told the way to MAKE IT in America is to be as WHITE AS POSSIBLE and the way how some people of colour achieve whiteness is by sleeping white, marrying white OR transforming their bodies to reach whiteness.

Julie Chen the host of the Talk said she had to get eye lid surgery in order to make it into journalism.

Chen said she was instructed that in order to MAKE IT in journalism, she had to have a look that was acceptable to WHITE PEOPLE. She said once she had the surgery her career took off. Chen of course didn't mention she slept her way to top as well. Chen had an affair with her married white boss Les Moovies the CBS president and sure enough he dropped his first wife and married Chen. Now Chen has two shows on CBS Big Brother and The Talk.

It is one of the reasons, lighter skinned black women such as Beyonce, is considered more palatable than say darker skinned black women such as Kelly Rowland or Mary J Blige.

 

[zombiekiller]

Well..but trust me, there are minority of asian woman whose not whitewashed as most asian girls are..I have not too far away sample: My sister. Her husband is vietnamese ^^
My mom also find white guys repulsive..so maybe it's genetic. I have BIGGER fascination to white man than all my family combined. Does my dad loves white woman? idk
but hence..I become totally international like right now.
As for your lack of luck finding asian guys as mate maybe it's because your luck, it's still relative assumption because that's not happening with me.

May be it's the area where I live.

I like twinks. There, I admit it. And unlike a lot of people, I don't just consider white skinny hairless young guys as twinks. I consider any guy from any race who's skinny, hairless, and young a twink.

I realize that not everybody is everybody's type. That's ok. I reserve the right to reject someone if I don't like him.

But the thing is this. I've had great luck with white, Hispanic, and black twinks. And the ones that rejected me at least they talked to me. But with Asian twinks, they just ignore me. And I mean really ignore, as in pretend like I'm not there. A few times after getting ignored by these guys, I've tried to watch them from a distance to see what they do. And always they'd talk to the older white men. They actively seek out white older men.

Again, please don't take this as a negative thing. I think it's neutral. Not everything needs to be good or bad.

I'm just wondering where this attitude came from. Why are so many of our Asian twinks and chicks go out of their way to seek out white guys? I don't get it.

 

[xbuzzerx]

The article has a point, let's be honest here, in a lot of non white communities, except the black community, I think bringing home a white man is considered acceptable.

I think due to the history between blacks and whites, I don't think most black families would be thrilled if a black woman brought home a white man. I think things are changing in the black community but I do believe with blacks the issue is different.

But for Asian people, I think for some Asian parents, they might not be totally accepting at first, but I do believe plenty of Asian families don't mind their daughters dating or marrying a white male.



I think a lot of Asian families probably would accept their daughters marrying or dating a white man over a black guy or a Latino man. The white heterosexual male is indeed a signifier of success in some Asian communities. Now, I know some people are going to say my comment isn't PC, but that's how I notice things.

I notice in Toronto I see TONS of Asian women with white men on the subway, street car, bus ect. I remember reading somewhere that in America 40% of Asians are in interracial relationships, I think the number might be larger but it is a huge number. The vast majority of these relationships are Asian women and white men.

Now, I personally don't have a problem with it, if an Asian woman wants to date a white man that's her business it is her life.

It would be interesting from a sociological level to actually see if more scientific studies could be done about this issue.


This is interesting, I am not Asian, but I read an article on a website called XO Jane, and an Asian woman said the reason she dates white men is to get away from Asian culture. Perhaps subconsciously, some Asian women date white men because they want to get away from PATRIARCHY. This is what the Asian woman said in her article on XO Jane website. According to the Asian lady she also said that Asian families tend to be traditional. I know some people are going to say I am stereotyping but I am just the messenger. The lady also said said she prefers white men because she said they are more liberal.

However, I am concerned, because, just because an Asian woman dates a white man does not mean they can't have racial issues. For instance, some white men who are straight might feed into the stereotype that Asian woman are supposed to be submissive and passive.

Some white heterosexual men also want an Asian woman because they believe they can CONTROL HER.

You are correct that a small part of the issue is that the perception of Asian women is docile, submissive, polite, etc. I have heard many guys say things that would lead me to believe they think an Asian woman is easier to deal with than a white woman in a relationship. As with any stereotype there's layers to that assumption that make it untrue when reality shows up.

But, hitting the bigger point you raised, yes, there are sociological ramifications to how you see pairings happening. There's a reason, for example, that in so many movies stretching back almost to the very beginning of silent movies, you will see the white man capturing the exotic, foreign or non-white beauty, and you will very infrequently (in some eras, almost never) see the reverse happening. It ties into issues of perceptions of cultural dominance. The white man conquering the nonwhite woman is acceptable. The nonwhite man conquering the white woman creates discomfort. You're also correct from everything I've seen in real life and statistics that white male-Asian female pairings are the lionshare of Asian-white interracial pairings. The other side of the issue is media portrayals and reinforcements of beauty standards. There's an enormous media message that white men are attractive, and a somewhat quieter but still big one that Asian women are attractive. There is no major media message that Asian men are attractive-- or Indian men, etc. Stepping onto any college campus and talking to the male geek-field majors will yield endless odes to how much they're into Asian women and so badly want to meet or date one. You simply won't find a white female version of that in our society.

 

[JayQueer]

Whyy did I click on this thread?

I wanted a white boyfriend before..........now I really really want a white boyfriend

P.S. the guy in the upper left corner is a hottie. I wish that was me instead of Mindy standing there.

 

[eastofeden]

OMG Thank you for this thread

I'm an Indian-American gay man (same ethnicity as Mindy Kaling). Just like Mindy Kaling's parents, my parents immigrated to the US from India.

OMG, I have a White-Guy obsession too!! I wish White guys would notice me though. It's so frustrating!!! I know straight White guys who have told me before how hot & sexy they find Indian women..........but gay White guys only go for other gay White guys.....WHY!?!

White gay men never notice me..........they only go for White guys, or occasionally Latino or Asian guys. But never Indian guys.....

It's so annoying! White gay men love to talk about "diversity", "inclusion" etc etc, they move to diverse cities like NYC or San Francisco, but then all of their boyfriends are as white as they are.

Life is really hard being an Indian bottom!!

News Flash! It could have [STRIKE]something[/STRIKE] everything to do with who you are as a person.

 

[MorrisseyX]

You are correct that a small part of the issue is that the perception of Asian women is docile, submissive, polite, etc. I have heard many guys say things that would lead me to believe they think an Asian woman is easier to deal with than a white woman in a relationship. As with any stereotype there's layers to that assumption that make it untrue when reality shows up.

But, hitting the bigger point you raised, yes, there are sociological ramifications to how you see pairings happening. There's a reason, for example, that in so many movies stretching back almost to the very beginning of silent movies, you will see the white man capturing the exotic, foreign or non-white beauty, and you will very infrequently (in some eras, almost never) see the reverse happening. It ties into issues of perceptions of cultural dominance. The white man conquering the nonwhite woman is acceptable. The nonwhite man conquering the white woman creates discomfort. You're also correct from everything I've seen in real life and statistics that white male-Asian female pairings are the lionshare of Asian-white interracial pairings. The other side of the issue is media portrayals and reinforcements of beauty standards. There's an enormous media message that white men are attractive, and a somewhat quieter but still big one that Asian women are attractive. There is no major media message that Asian men are attractive-- or Indian men, etc. Stepping onto any college campus and talking to the male geek-field majors will yield endless odes to how much they're into Asian women and so badly want to meet or date one. You simply won't find a white female version of that in our society.

This could be the reason why Scandal is such a successful show on ABC. It is palatable for the white man to get the black woman, people accept it they think it is hot and sexy. Scandal is a huge hit with women of all races. The white man gets to be the stud who gets ALL THE WOMEN regardless of their race. And for women of colour being with a white man is still seen as a signifier of acquiring a higher social status.


I think it is indeed acceptable in society that women of colour are sexually available for white heterosexual males. I think it relates to white male dominance on television and society.

However, the opposite is definitely NOT TRUE. On television, I rarely ever see a black male character with a white woman except on a couple of soaps such as General Hospital or Young & The Restless.

But this development I think only occurred in the past few years. For a very long time black male characters on soaps were segregated they could NOT get with a white woman always a black woman or a Latina. Like, Neil on Y&R he did have a brief relationship with Victoria but the actors actually got death threats and the interracial storyline was quickly ended.

Even now, Neil is in a relationship with a black woman Leslie but they have no sexual chemistry they don't have sex scenes, and Neil comes across as a father figure to Leslie she's much younger than him.

There is a younger black male character though on Y&R who does seem more interesting and a sign of slight progress. Right now on Y&R there is a very handsome black male character Tyler he's in a relationship with an attractive white woman Abbie. I am not sure if Tyler and Abbie have even had a sex scene? But I know Tyler has had sex scenes with other white women on the show.

But it is still rare, I think only in the last couple of years I have noticed a shift on daytime television where the black man can have sex scenes with a white woman and people don't freak out. It wasn't always the case.

In prime time television, I can't think of any men of colour with white women or with other women of colour.

 

[xbuzzerx]

This could be the reason why Scandal is such a successful show on ABC. It is palatable for the white man to get the black woman, people accept it they think it is hot and sexy. Scandal is a huge hit with women of all races. The white man gets to be the stud who gets ALL THE WOMEN regardless of their race. And for women of colour being with a white man is still seen as a signifier of acquiring a higher social status.


I think it is indeed acceptable in society that women of colour are sexually available for white heterosexual males. I think it relates to white male dominance on television and society.

However, the opposite is definitely NOT TRUE. On television, I rarely ever see a black male character with a white woman except on a couple of soaps such as General Hospital or Young & The Restless.

But this development I think only occurred in the past few years. For a very long time black male characters on soaps were segregated they could NOT get with a white woman always a black woman or a Latina. Like, Neil on Y&R he did have a brief relationship with Victoria but the actors actually got death threats and the interracial storyline was quickly ended.

Even now, Neil is in a relationship with a black woman Leslie but they have no sexual chemistry they don't have sex scenes, and Neil comes across as a father figure to Leslie she's much younger than him.

There is a younger black male character though on Y&R who does seem more interesting and a sign of slight progress. Right now on Y&R there is a very handsome black male character Tyler he's in a relationship with an attractive white woman Abbie. I am not sure if Tyler and Abbie have even had a sex scene? But I know Tyler has had sex scenes with other white women on the show.

But it is still rare, I think only in the last couple of years I have noticed a shift on daytime television where the black man can have sex scenes with a white woman and people don't freak out. It wasn't always the case.

In prime time television, I can't think of any men of colour with white women or with other women of colour.

Literally the only movie I've ever seen that featured Asian man - white women (I know I probably missed a few Chow Yun-Fat or Jet Li ones or something) was Anna and the King. And like all movies before the last 10 years or so that wanted to be tasteful-- they made sure the romantic storyline between them remained romantic only, and never physical.

 

[bankside]

It's so strange to be discussing the global phenomenon of ethnicity, but only through the lens of anglo-centric, and primarily american, media imagery. It's like going to a gallery of cubism and wondering why it seems there are nothing but Picassos on the wall.

When I turn on my TV, what I see is the consistent overrepresentation of black people, and the consistent underrepresentation of brown people. Of course that's using my part of the world as the standard of comparison. But why should television be representative of my part of the world? I don't have that expectation, and it seems strange to me that others do, wherever you are. Watching TV was not something I did to understand my own country or my own place in the world.

 

[zombiekiller]

Literally the only movie I've ever seen that featured Asian man - white women (I know I probably missed a few Chow Yun-Fat or Jet Li ones or something) was Anna and the King. And like all movies before the last 10 years or so that wanted to be tasteful-- they made sure the romantic storyline between them remained romantic only, and never physical.

I have made this observation and pointed this out to people for the last decade. Unfortunately, people have only slowly admitting that this pattern exist in the last few months. Before, it was always me pointing this out, them denying it, me asking them if they could think of any movie at all with an Asian hero getting the girl at the end, and them changing the subject. It occurred to me recently that the reason they always changed the subject at that point was because the thought of it grossed them out, at least subconsciously.

Like my father always say, you can't treat a wound until you admit it's a wound.

 

[xbuzzerx]

It's so strange to be discussing the global phenomenon of ethnicity, but only through the lens of anglo-centric, and primarily american, media imagery. It's like going to a gallery of cubism and wondering why it seems there are nothing but Picassos on the wall.

When I turn on my TV, what I see is the consistent overrepresentation of black people, and the consistent underrepresentation of brown people. Of course that's using my part of the world as the standard of comparison. But why should television be representative of my part of the world? I don't have that expectation, and it seems strange to me that others do, wherever you are. Watching TV was not something I did to understand my own country or my own place in the world.

It's not even about expecting that everything I see on movie screens or the television should match the demographics of my local area. Could you name 20, or even 10 Asian American actors or actresses? Even if you could, I doubt most people could. Seen many Asian American A&F models? See them very often in catalogs, magazines, ads? I don't. Can you name a famous Asian male and white female couple in a major movie or TV show? I can't.

This isn't even a matter of underrepresented. Sometimes it's more like a case of complete invisibility or being stricken from public view and the creation of the beauty standard.

And to me the argument that marketing departments or media companies would give that they are appealing to their main marketshare or whatever else is such bunk-- Asian Americans are ENORMOUS consumers of A&F clothing, as one example. How did A&F react to that? Releasing a series of racist shirts showing buck-toothed chinese laundrymen. Not even kidding.

 

[Native Son]

I've never seen the show.

Nah..............really?

 

[bankside]

It's not even about expecting that everything I see on movie screens or the television should match the demographics of my local area. Could you name 20, or even 10 Asian American actors or actresses? Even if you could, I doubt most people could. Seen many Asian American A&F models? See them very often in catalogs, magazines, ads? I don't. Can you name a famous Asian male and white female couple in a major movie or TV show? I can't.

This isn't even a matter of underrepresented. Sometimes it's more like a case of complete invisibility or being stricken from public view and the creation of the beauty standard.

And to me the argument that marketing departments or media companies would give that they are appealing to their main marketshare or whatever else is such bunk-- Asian Americans are ENORMOUS consumers of A&F clothing, as one example. How did A&F react to that? Releasing a series of racist shirts showing buck-toothed chinese laundrymen. Not even kidding.

My point is, I doubt I could name 20 white American actors. It isn't that relevant.

If 4.8% of Americans have asian ancestry and this was reflected in my knowledge of Hollywood, then I should be able to name 417 other actors for every 20 of asian background. Four hundred and seventeen.

If I could name 20 black American actors, that would mean I would have to name 159 other American actors.

If I could name 20 "Native-Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander Americans" I would have to be able to name 10 000 other actors.

I've heard people complain too about the lack of ethnically diverse gay representation in film. If I knew 20 gay black actors, I would have to list 3970 other actors.

A more realistic standard would improve the discussion.