What are your Porn Pet Peeves?

[electricflame]

Gosh I have so many!

When any one performer stays soft for too long

When you hear straight porn in the background

When there is no kissing

And my BIGGEST pet peeve...when a guy has a really nice smooth bubble butt and it gets fingered and rimmed and worshipped...but you NEVER get to SEE the actual hole because someone's finger/tongue/head is in the way and you're left to imagine what the guy licking or fingering him gets to see.

 

[Kahaih]

I'm content with the notion that porn is produced for other people who must enjoy it the way it is – they buy that crap.



But, to play along;

Tilted cameras, and the views from the ceiling fan, or from under the couch. Is the viewer supposed to feel drunk enough to fuck the mutts? I don't get it.

Any scenarios where the performers are supposed to have found some time to be alone and then cheese it up for the camera.

 

[heir-to-the-wind]

Sleazy music that drowns out sounds of sex.

No attempt at a story line or a theme to vignettes.

Extraneous sounds, talking

Actors looking at the camera.

 

[rareboy]

'Straight' guys faking it.

And all of the above, except that almost any storyline where they actually open their mouths and try to talk makes my eyes cross because it is usually so lame.

 

[Kahaih]

OK, one more;

Sideways sex; where it often appears as though the guy is only interested in blowing or fucking the other guy if he is able to do so from around the corner.

 

[Vannie]

Anything filmed outside...

Anyone who looks and sounds like they are having an exorcism...

Anyone saying Daddy...

 

[Daximus]

Cheesy acting, spitting, pissing, scat play (ugg) and condoms. Yes yes I know the risks but condoms just ruin it for me.

 

[eastofeden]

The following terms: Twink and Daddy

Other than that...generally I am pretty bored by most porn. I would rather masturbate about the guys I was already with and the sex I already had....

That isn't the fault of the porn though..I just like the real thing better.

 

[smokeshadow]

I'd be curious to hear what Jasun has to say on this

I will agree with the cheesy music; it's enough to make one want to gouge their eyes out.

When one can tell that one of the models hasn't prepared (i.e. is unable to cum from a jo). I know that many amateurs don't know their bodies and how to mentally prepare for sex, but geeze, when one is paying (I hope) for porn, I want the models to at least get to enjoy themselves

 

[Kahaih]

Anything filmed outside...

. . .

Especially if they are hairy old bastards and it looks too much like actual Sasquatch sightings.

That shit scares the crap out of me. People shouldn't be jacking off to that.

 

[Vannie]

Especially if they are hairy old bastards and it looks too much like actual Sasquatch sightings.

Hey...I Nair my back once in a while!

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

When they are soft and it takes them ten years to jerk off at the end.

 

[Kahaih]

^Actually, if you have ever seen 'the end' of a porn film, it wasn't any good.

 

[mark1111]

voice over moaning and "talking" when their mouths aren't even open

 

[electricflame]

Hair anywhere near an ass. A hot guy and you finally see his hole except you can't. Because it's covered in hair.

 

[rareboy]

^ Not a turn off for me.

Razor stubble and razor burn on the ass is a boner killer though.

 

[rareboy]

Seeing the bare mattress when the sheets get pushed around.

I'm looking at it thinking 'What the fuck? Don't these people use a mattress cover?'

 

[sixthson]

When they are fucking doggy style and the don't show the top's hole. It makes me wonder if those making the movie are even gay.

When the minute you see the two guys, you know instantly which is the bottom and which is the top. Don't be so predictable.

Condoms.

Bottoms who lay there during the act looking like they have no feelings below the waist.

 

[Charon]

The "straight to gay" scenarios, and the girlfriend "catching" the boyfriend while doing it with another dude. The GIF promos that play on Pornhub are a real boner killer, and make me cringe. Especially when I'm trying to "enjoy" a video of a hot guy fapping.

 

[SaskGuy]

- Straight porn playing in the background; it's a complete turn off to hear a woman whining like she's being injured.
- Extreme close-ups that go on for 75% of the video. Why can't the camera back off a bit, so we can actually see what's going on?
- Straight guys being "converted".... sure it's a common fantasy, but it's unrealistic and it's been overdone to death.
- Straight actors in general. You can usually tell when the straight guys are trying to endure the scene and they can't wait for it to be over so they can get their huge pay cheque. Why can't gay guys do gay porn? They'd at least be into it, even if they're still just acting.
- Terrible story lines, or some writer who thinks they're being creative. I usually just skip the beginning. I watch porn so I can see hot guys having sex or jacking off, not to see a story, especially a badly written one with horrible actors.
- Overdubbed audio. I mean, seriously?! One particular porn I watched had the same sound that repeated at least 4 or 5 times throughout the movie. I thought the audio was a bit out of sync at first, but it was nothing more than two guys fucking, with their fucking sounds duplicated.

Actually, I find amateur stuff more interesting, because it's so much more realistic. The guys are doing it because they want to as well.