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"What can I say to myself when . ." What do you say to yourself? A question about looks

I may not look like Quasimodo but the body dysmorphia can really make you believe that you do and I guess that's why they call it a disorder. It would have been better if I was smiling but I was using a camera app that makes a siren sound as it counts down and I wasn't sure when the photo is snapped.

I will try to reply to this, even though you left a "choice" post comment for me, and you're annoyed at me for some reason. I'm not trying to make light of your situation, as body dysmorphia is a serious condition. I know it's easier said than done, but since you KNOW you have this clinical condition, you should try to realize that you are in actuality a good looking (and very good looking for some) guy, and that it's your BD that's making you feel less attractive than you really are. Those voices will recur, but you may have to keep repeating to yourself "I look just fine, I look just fine" and have it become more second nature whenever those voices trigger you to be upset at yourself. You have to be willing to put up that internal fight. You are stronger than "it". It starts with YOU.
 
Borg,
I understand what you are saying and I dont really feel like I need to say anything in return because you covered what I should be doing. I need to get a life and stop thinking my life will end in doom and gloom. Ive allowed life to pass me by and I need to stop that.

Derek,
Im annoyed at you because you made a false statement as if it was true. Im not going to re-hash it.
 
Borg,
I understand what you are saying and I dont really feel like I need to say anything in return because you covered what I should be doing. I need to get a life and stop thinking my life will end in doom and gloom. Ive allowed life to pass me by and I need to stop that.

Derek,
Im annoyed at you because you made a false statement as if it was true. Im not going to re-hash it.

I apologize if you thought I was trying to make something up. I didn't mean "questions" in the literal sense. I just thought you were resisting some of the help that was offered in this thread. In any case, I even had a ";)" at the end of the post, as I was being more tongue-in-cheek.

I hope you can find the positives for yourself and I wish you the best of luck.
 
It occured to me that my neice has a forceps mark on her cheek from her birth. It is not a very noticeable one but it is there and she uses makeup to hide it. I know people will say "just accept it" but I think I would rather get something that works for me to cover up the dark circles and use it like many woman do in that they wont let anyone see them without makeup.

Maybe a "how to be more photogenic" website would be helpful

Being photogenic requires perfect lighting, clothes that go with that lighting and your coloration, and a ridiculous amount of makeup - that also depends on skin color and lighting. Everyone has one or two photos where their skin looks 'normal', and that's it. I can tell you that people judge people who smile more favorably than those who don't, so it might be something you want to work on. Also, a lot of people think slight gaps in teeth are cute.

However, I have the same problem with those damn dark circles. Mine are a dark purple-ish and they're very noticeable when I take off my sunglasses. The only decent thing is they're even - if you've seen the Addam's Family and Fester's circles, that's what I've got. I don't use makeup to cover them, I tried that quite a while ago for those and some of my more noticeable scars - turns out the two scars I really wanted to cover (because nosy bastards always ask about them) wasn't the kind that can be covered up completely and I can't do the circles because I can't see the left side of my face well enough. Besides, at this point I'm more than used to them and I like to think it gives my sneers a certain appeal. Since it wasn't complete I decided 'fuck it' on the whole endeavor well over a decade ago.

However, here's a quite good video on covering up circles.


There's a second part off to the left. When you go to buy makeup, ask the sales clerk who runs the makeup section at your department store (and there's always at least one, hunt them down if you have to) to match the first layer to the circles - different colors cover different color dark circles, and you'll need also need the foundation to cover that which should be a shade or two off of your natural skintone. I doubt I described it well, as I was never much one for makeup, but they'll know what you need if they're competent. If you go to a mall they'll do the makeup for you and then sell you the products.

However, with the mall, they also try and sell you shit you don't actually need, so watch the videos and pick and choose makeup at the store wisely. There's easier products to buy that work just as well than the twenty buck each set of three 'hydration system'. (pulled that out of my ass, but it's a good-enough example).
 
Thank you luckynumbah7 for the advice about the circles. I appreciate it.

Well, I dont believe this but I posted the photo above on my social app and I had a guy interested in meeting me. He is in Vancouver and I said that I dont travel (that far) but he said he would. I said "its too far" and I dont know him very well. One chat and one photo. But there it is. "I want to meet you"

Then he mentioned the bus and it takes 90 minutes to come here by bus. He was insistent but I was insistent it was too far to come

tumblr_msqasxoD3Y1saa1x7o1_500.jpg
 
I think it's a great start !!!

*I* would prefer you get out, and actually mingle with people... but I've been hard enough on you for one week, and I'll settle for this big step for you. Congrats! I know that was hard for you. Keep it up, and try not to get discouraged!!!






... and just cause you got a reprieve THIS time, doesn't mean I won't come back full force LATER. ;)

~Resistance is Futile. :)


...How does it feel ?
 
Dude,
I've ignored you once. I can do it again :-)

Honestly, you have had great comments and I appreciate everyone (even Derek :-)

Thank you
 
Thank you luckynumbah7 for the advice about the circles. I appreciate it.

Well, I dont believe this but I posted the photo above on my social app and I had a guy interested in meeting me. He is in Vancouver and I said that I dont travel (that far) but he said he would. I said "its too far" and I dont know him very well. One chat and one photo. But there it is. "I want to meet you"

Then he mentioned the bus and it takes 90 minutes to come here by bus. He was insistent but I was insistent it was too far to come
Your insecurities appear to be hampering an actual meeting. Telling him that it's too far isn't encouraging it to happen. I don't know if you're open to a friendship that never becomes sexual at all, but that could also happen and it could be a beautiful thing.

Why don't you guys meet up in Langley or something? I'm sure that you travel at least that far, though from your descriptions I've gathered that you may be as far east as Chilliwack or at least Abbotsford.

I hope you guys meet, and that you find out you like each other - in whatever forms and minutiae the emerging friendship may or may not include.
 
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