On Topic Discussion What do you think about bisexuals?

[LuckysRevenge]

For me the threshold isn't subjective. It's whatever is required to be strong enough to actually act on. It's about what you feel biologically directed to do: not about what you "might be open to doing, possibly, if the right kind of situation fell into your lap." That's why all this numbers/percentages nonsense is just for the sake of discussion.

When people date only one gender all the time... they are showing you what they are biologically driven towards.

Straight guys and straight girls feeling hints of tiny, fleeting crushes on same-gender friends doesn't make all of them bi, to me. Nor do their confessions that they might have thought about it here and there. My series of minor crushes on female teachers up to and including high school didn't make me bi either, because the attraction wasn't strong enough to ever leave the realm of theoretical fantasy.

On the various parameters offered, most of them incredibly broad and simply a matter of interpretive and theoretical wiggle room, I could claim bisexuality and I imagine many gay men could, and a huge number of straight people. Now what you're saying is that everyone with occasional what-if fantasies or passing thoughts is actually lying to themselves and others about their bisexuality?

There are many reasons why people wouldn't act on strong feelings.
Bringing up the sci fi analogy was a poor example. I might actually want to murder someone but because I want to keep my freedom or because of the morals of society etc etc etc, I don't.

There are a myriad of reasons why a bi male hasn't acted on those feelings. I've made out with women, have become sexually aroused but haven't actually had sex with one. And it's not because my feelings are just fantasies. There are reasons I'm not going to get into in this thread but the point is you have a lot of people speaking with authority on things they don't know all the answers to.

 

[Kulindahr]

No they aren't. And if you actually had an answer, you would have given it. Your aggressive evasion here tells me everything I need to know about your house of cards

Most of what you've posted here is nothing but trying to evade objective, rational thought. I'm not going to indulge in your evasions, any more than I would put a section describing a picnic area on the lower slope of a volcano in a paper about the geology of that volcano.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

By this concept, an awful lot of guys I went to college with were asexual: they had attraction to females but never pursued any.

And finding same-gender partners isn't difficult at all, unless you live so far in the backwoods there's no place to go and meet people of the same gender who might return your interest.

Um, where did "random happenstance" come from? Other than it sounds like that's how you think people meet potential partners.

Agree with this. And finding sex with a male is a lot easier for a guy than finding sex with a female these days

 

[Kulindahr]

Sure it does, contemplating it makes me feel like a bad boy, but alas, even for the good of mankind - I'm not a murderer.

I don't understand getting pleasure from thinking about something you'd never do.

 

[Kulindahr]

Generally either not being able to do something or knowing you can't do something or not being willing to do something in reality is why you fantasize about it... it's kind of the definition of fantasizing.

Why would you fantasize about something you actually do all the time in real life?

I wouldn't fantasize about something I actually do because I actually do it -- no fantasy is needed. But I don't fantasize about things I would never do, because there's no point -- there are plenty of things I would do to fantasize about, and for that reason alone it's stupid to fantasize about things I would never do.

 

[TX-Beau]

...but the point is you have a lot of people speaking with authority on things they don't know all the answers to.

That's the definition of the interwebz.

 

[Kulindahr]

The problem though is that many of the exceeding flimsy bases upon which to claim bisexual orientation which are now being vehemently defended as legitimate also qualify large swaths of both gay and straight people as being bisexuals who are apparently dishonest about it.

Orientation is orientation. It's an objective matter that has nothing to do with motivations or choices to pursue it in part or whole.

 

[TX-Beau]

I don't understand getting pleasure from thinking about something you'd never do.

I don't know if I actually believe you or not. I've never met anyone who didn't fantasize about something they'd never do. Be it win the lottery or fuck the neighbors wife.

 

[Kulindahr]

Agree with this. And finding sex with a male is a lot easier for a guy than finding sex with a female these days

Very true, unless you're into sluts.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

I don't know if I actually believe you or not. I've never met anyone who didn't fantasize about something they'd never do. Be it win the lottery or fuck the neighbors wife.

You'd meaning you would. As in if you had the chance, you would. As in you fantasize about what you desire.

 

[xbuzzerx]

There are a myriad of reasons why a bi male hasn't acted on those feelings. I've made out with women, have become sexually aroused but haven't actually had sex with one.

Me too, except I have had sex with them as well.

I guess I'm more bi than you?

 

[xbuzzerx]

Agree with this. And finding sex with a male is a lot easier for a guy than finding sex with a female these days

Nonsense. Hard to believe someone who isn't gay knows about gay apps but doesn't know about OKCupid.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

Me too, except I have had sex with them as well.

I guess I'm more bi than you?

If you want to call it that. The point is your imaginary threshold makes no sense. It assumes that the circumstances are the same for each individual and that sex is readily availble to have.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I wouldn't fantasize about something I actually do because I actually do it -- no fantasy is needed. But I don't fantasize about things I would never do, because there's no point -- there are plenty of things I would do to fantasize about, and for that reason alone it's stupid to fantasize about things I would never do.

Well, that's your personal choice. Plenty of people fantasize about things they'd never do. Most, in fact.

 

[TX-Beau]

Orientation is orientation. It's an objective matter that has nothing to do with motivations or choices to pursue it in part or whole.

Yeah, but the bone of contention is what defines orientation.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

Nonsense. Hard to believe someone who isn't gay knows about gay apps but doesn't know about OKCupid.

And women on okcupid are ready to come over for a hookup? Usually that indicates they're a slut. Different perceptions of women and men lead to different behavior.

I can turn on grindr and have sex in 5 minutes. Not the same for okcupid. You're being willingly dense at this point which is disappointing.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Orientation is orientation. It's an objective matter that has nothing to do with motivations or choices to pursue it in part or whole.

You can repeat this line all day but you're not answering me when I ask what magical difference exists between bisexuals who never pursue women but claim to have an attraction and gay or straight men who do not claim to be bisexual and occasionally feel attraction as well.

You're arguing backwards from "someone said they're bi, so there must be a substantive difference" without even bothering to point out what that substantive difference is supposed to be besides what they feel more comfortable identifying as.

 

[TX-Beau]

You'd meaning you would. As in if you had the chance, you would. As in you fantasize about what you desire.

No, I really really have the desire to murder Ted Cruz, he's like this smarmy 70's vampire I have to apologize for - but I'd never actually do it, chance or no chance.

 

[Kulindahr]

You'd meaning you would. As in if you had the chance, you would. As in you fantasize about what you desire.

Yes. Fantasizing is mentally training for something, as well, so it's pretty stupid to fantasize about something you'd never do. I can't picture any way to make it worth the effort.

Maybe that's why most porn is about as exciting to me as sitting in a ditch of stagnant water.

 

[xbuzzerx]

If you want to call it that. The point is your imaginary threshold makes no sense. It assumes that the circumstances are the same for each individual and that sex is readily availble to have.

I'm fairly sure if you blindfolded me and left me in a room and someone 89 years old who was a decent kisser came in and felt me up and made out with me, I'd get hard. That's what always happened for me with women even though I am a gay guy. Some of these are simple biological reactions to physical contact, and not a function of one specific sexuality.