What Flaws Are You Not Willing To Put Up With In A Partner

[AllMan]

-Masculinity is the biggest turnoff of all
-Followed by bad hygiene, which often comes with masculinity
-And arrogance and inflated sense of self, which also comes with masculinity

So, let me get this correct: you want a flaming queen?

 

[mbamike]

Smoking. A total turn off for me.

Body odor.

Bitchiness.

Disrespectful.

Laziness.

 

[sixthson]

He can't have the flaw of being straight.

The only other flaw would be recognizing his own flaws and being unwilling to change. Flaws such as selfishness, moodiness, lack of heart for others or lack of generosity.

We are all flawed, probably far more than we know. The beauty of love within a relationship is the power it has to change us.

 

[AllMan]

I like how

1.) You act as if anyone who isn't masculine is automatically a flaming queen.

2.) You come of as attacking when you ask a question, when his preferences are what he wants, and that should be respected no less than your own.

Personally, I could never date a guy more masculine than myself. There's just no attraction there.

NO.....let me correct you and get you right first. He, not once

-Masculinity is the biggest turnoff of all

not twice

-Followed by bad hygiene, which often comes with masculinity

but three times,

-And arrogance and inflated sense of self, which also comes with masculinity

said he hates someone who is masculine...so what is the opposite of masculine? You guessed it: feminine. So obviously he wants a feminine queen. He said it not me. I think he is the person you should be addressing. And furthermore....is he stereotyping all masculine guys by saying the only way you can be clean/have good hygiene, and be humble and not arrogant is by being feminine? Well if that's the case, then I would be a stinky arrogant fool then!! So are you and he both saying that no masculine straight men are humble and know how to shower/use cologne? That is entirely asinine. Get yourself together and analyze the facts, before you attack me, buddy!

Secondly, I respect what he likes, but I just find it peculiar that someone ACTIVELY seeks out a feminine/queeny guy-----versus just wanting a naturally masculine guy or a normal acting guy for what he is, instead of dismissing any notions of masculinity. If that's the case, why not just be straight and date a woman? He could potentially miss a good man by being so very closed-minded to one's mannerisms. But whatever floats your/his boat....

Thank you Mr. (or should I say Miss?) Arousal, carry on.

 

[Esquire0399]

People keep saying if you love someone, you accept their flaws. Have any of you ever considered that some of the flaws are what stop the love from happening to begin with?

EXACTLY.

I agree that when you love someone, you accept their flaws, and in fact often times I find that the most attractive part about someone is their imperfections (I love you not for your lack of flaws but rather because of them), but there are certain flaws that reach beyond "I accept that about you because I love all of you," and enter "holy shit I just cannot do this" territory. No one is perfect, no one at all, but there are certain people that also unwilling try to be the best they can be for the person they supposedly love, and that's when the love falls apart. And that's why I don't have a bf anymore, because he refused to even try to be sympathetic to my needs, only concerning himself with his own.

 

[oakpope]

People keep saying if you love someone, you accept their flaws. Have any of you ever considered that some of the flaws are what stop the love from happening to begin ?

Some flaws can prevent someone to fall in love with the person, some flaws can be revealed later in the relationship and be more easily accepted, some flaws can be what caused the attraction in the first place, don't you think ?

 

[AllMan]

I prefer men that aren't masculine. Maybe he prefers men in the middle... like myself. Did he say he wanted the opposite? Maybe we should ask him instead of making assumptions.

Um, that's exactly what I said in my explaination, did you perhaps READ??

And feminine guys are still males. They aren't women. Talk about committing stereotyping yourself.

Say it to me, then ask him the same question also....since he is said the same exact thing I did with his "girly guy" comment

"manly" guy might be attracted to a "girly" guy.

 

[AllMan]

So anything that isn't masculine is automatically feminine? There's no in-between? And anything feminine is automatically a "flaming queen"?

Furthermore, anyone who isn't attracted to masculine men is automatically feminine by definition? I don't take offense to being called feminine, because nothing is wrong with being feminine, but your logic is still heavily flawed. Do you not realize that in some cases opposites attract? Even within the LGBT community?

I've said it before, but I marvel at how few lesbians are irritated when a girly lesbian and a butch lesbian are paired. Yet gay men and this endless obsession with "masculinity" get up in arms at the idea that a "manly" guy might be attracted to a "girly" guy. It's not that serious, bro.

You just contradicted yourself and you didn't even realize it. Your logic is heavily flawed bro. One moment you say "there's no in between?" as if to suggest there IS a middle ground. The next moment you say "opposites attract"...well which is it dude??? Make up your mind which aregument you wanna use. Either there are opposites, or there aren't. The statement doesn't go "in-betweens attract"...OPPOSITES mean at the direct ends of one another----the exact difference.

Check-mate.

 

[AllMan]

You said "So obviously he wants a feminine queen."

That's an assumption.

Ok, sorry Mr. Law Student, I used the wrong choice of words.....maybe I should have said "so seemignly, according to the information provided, it looks as if he prefers to chose a femine queen over a naturally masculine guy".

He didn't say females though. I might be feminine but I don't want to be girl. I'm not transgendered.

You might as well be.....isn't that the whole point of acting feminine, is to try to MIMIC a girl? Most feminine/queeny guys are up the women's department buying their clothes/shoes and wearing all this jewelry intended for a woman, etc. Tell me that isn't true---and I will say you have been living under a rock your whole life. The same argument goes for the comment someone made about lesbians being butch.....what's their point of being butch, other than to MIMIC a man....let's face it, whether you want to accept it or not, in a gay relationship (more so than not) one has to play the role of a man, and the other the role of a woman. So there goes your "men" acting girly, and their goes your "women" trying to be a man. It's common sense, and like I said-----if you don't believe that/realize that, then you have been sheltered your whole life and obviously never been to a gay club or to a big city and experience REALITY.

 

[sixthson]

People keep saying if you love someone, you accept their flaws. Have any of you ever considered that some of the flaws are what stop the love from happening to begin with?

Too many people have the idea that unconditional love means you overlook anything and everything. This is just not true.
Some flaws, like selfishness, are fatal to love. They are altogether different from the flaws of smoking or poor hygiene. They are character flaws. So, yeah, they would prevent love but sometimes flaws don't appear until you are already in love.

Let's use you as an example. You are not interested in having a relationship. Some would consider that a flaw.
I'm sure you would not. As long as you are upfront about it, then it should stop love before it begins.

What is a flaw to one, might not be a flaw to another, however.

 

[G-Lexington]

Gee, I missed the masculine-feminine bitchfest.

There are plenty of traits I'm not crazy about, or I'm not especially attracted to. But I wouldn't consider them dealbreakers, and I certainly wouldn't consider them "flaws". The only "flaws" would be extremely severe ones - being abusive (physically or emotionally), heavily deceptive, things like that.

Lex

 

[FunFunk]

First and foremost, I will not tolerate Dishonesty or Lies of any sort. Lying to me even once is reason enough to end the relationship. I must be able to trust the man I'm partnered with.

Intolerance and Judgmentalism would be big problems too. I have a hard time respecting people who can't appreciate the diversity found in all facets of our world. At least, I have a hard time respecting them enough to be my partner.

Obnoxiousness and Lack of Consideration -- frequently talking loud or louder than necessary, spitting in public, rude behavior, constant cursing, arguing in public, talking to anyone or using his phone during a film or other performance, not listening and other such nuisances are big turn offs.

Other traits that would alienate me are Narcissism, Vanity and Selfishness. How could I be partners with someone who cares only about himself and can't see past his own nose in the mirror?

Finally, Tardiness is a huge turn-off as I can't make plans with a person who may not even arrive on time -- if at all.

I once had the misfortune of dating a guy who had many of those traits, especially the narcissism and tardiness. Dealing with him were some of the most frustrating moments I've had in any relationship.

 

[oakpope]

First and foremost, I will not tolerate Dishonesty or Lies of any sort. Lying to me even once is reason enough to end the relationship. I must be able to trust the man I'm partnered with.

Hate to be negative tonight but really ?? You will break a relationship over a single lie ? Really ? May I be so blunt as to ask you how long your longest relationship was ?

 

[JakeBequette]

I HATE when someone cancel plans. That pisses me off more than anything, especially if I've already changed plans/backed out of something to accomodate YOUR schedule.​

 

[bripatrick]

Yeah, I'm not so sure a single lie is a deal breaker. People lie in varying degrees, and sometimes because they have the best intentions in mind. I think when someone lies in order to cover up a malicious act, that's when it's unacceptable.

I'm a pretty tolerant person when it comes to "flaws" ... but there's three things I don't think I could overcome to be with a guy:

1. No sense of humor - I NEED someone who is at least as sharp as me...I prefer sharper, but hey. If we don't find each other funny and can't share a laugh over something, it's just not going to happen.

2. Smoking/Drugs - My eyes burn, I cough...ugh. Can't do it. And having two cops for parents has imbedded a sense of utter fear when it comes to illegal substances. Not to mention most of those drugs are going to cause you physical and mental problems.

3. Clinginess - I need a certain amount of alone time to function...I think everyone does. I was once with a guy who would guilt me if I couldn't hang out or wanted to do something with another friend or, God forbid, by myself. Never again.

 

[FunFunk]

Hate to be negative tonight but really ?? You will break a relationship over a single lie ? Really ? May I be so blunt as to ask you how long your longest relationship was ?

For a serious lie, yes, I would. I've had relationships that have continued for years. I'm not going to try to maintain a relationship with someone I can't even trust to tell the truth. Honesty is just too basic a factor to be ignored in a relationship and in any case it should be easy to be honest with your loved one.

 

[oakpope]

For a serious lie, you mean cheating, falsely spending a lot of common money, conceal the fact that he lost his job, etc. ? If so I understand you more easily, thank you

 

[FunFunk]

Yeah, I'm not so sure a single lie is a deal breaker. People lie in varying degrees, and sometimes because they have the best intentions in mind. I think when someone lies in order to cover up a malicious act, that's when it's unacceptable.

I'm a pretty tolerant person when it comes to "flaws" ... but there's three things I don't think I could overcome to be with a guy:

1. No sense of humor - I NEED someone who is at least as sharp as me...I prefer sharper, but hey. If we don't find each other funny and can't share a laugh over something, it's just not going to happen.

2. Smoking/Drugs - My eyes burn, I cough...ugh. Can't do it. And having two cops for parents has imbedded a sense of utter fear when it comes to illegal substances. Not to mention most of those drugs are going to cause you physical and mental problems.

3. Clinginess - I need a certain amount of alone time to function...I think everyone does. I was once with a guy who would guilt me if I couldn't hang out or wanted to do something with another friend or, God forbid, by myself. Never again.

That's the sort of lie I had in mind (although small lies wouldn't exactly be encouraged either). I was talking about the kind of lie that could hurt someone (or cover up something that could hurt someone). Small lies wouldn't necessarily threaten the relationship, although habitual lies that build up over time can be a problem. I once had a friend who, I eventually figured out, casually lied repeatedly about various issues, such as why he was often sick and why he was always late and why he needed to call me in the middle of the night, etc. When someone keeps telling small(ish) lies like that and it affects your life and they continue to do so even after you tell them not to, it's time to distance yourself from that person.

But one small lie by itself wouldn't necessarily be The End. However, one major lie -- such as, in the course of a monogamous relationship, I discover my partner has, in fact, been sneaking around with someone else repeatedly for weeks -- could very well end everything. Another example: If you tell me you're HIV negative and then I discover you're really HIV positive and you knew about it when you told me you were negative, the relationship would end. It's the lies that the liar knows or should know, could hurt his partner that concern me most. Telling such lies basically indicates that the liar really doesn't care about his partner. And why would anyone be partners with anyone who doesn't care about them?

Anyway, some of the things you mentioned would turn me off too. I really like guys with a sense of humor that I can appreciate. He doesn't have to be a comedian, but he shouldn't be uber-serious all the time either. I don't like needy and clingy guys either (I once knew someone who, long after we'd stopped dating each other still wanted me to go spend time with him at his place -- as in spend the night -- and he tried in so many ways. It was sad but also irritating.) And don't even get me started about smoking and drugs. (Being from a family of chronic cigarette smokers, inhaling all that second-hand smoke as a kid turned me staunchly against cigarettes and even marijuana. Nor did I ever see the appeal of other recreational drugs.)

 

[Yves Grey]

The list of "do nots" is long, arduous, and futile. So let's focus on the "dos":

Pick up after yourself, be tidy and organized
Keep care of your health and appearance
Be kind to others wherever possible
Have a backbone and a desire to learn and grow
Don't blow my money frivolously


In exchange for that and a little sincerity in love, I will put you up in a castle of stone, a safe automobile, a beautiful property, and a luxurious bed with all the toe-curling lovemaking you can stomach. I will be faithful. I will be your pillar in the storms, and we will find fulfillment in or lifetimes together.


Line starts: here




Love you all! Grands bisous! Bonne nuit!

 

[bi-4u2]

Arrogance- get oger your self
Bad higene- smell
Bitchiness- shut the hell up
Infidelity- get the fuck out
Always on top- umm no
Hurtfull- i will end you
Abusive- i will end you
Always dominant- umm no