What People Should Know About Bisexuals Is...

[Soilwork]

Damn right I get snippy.

In two threads, he blames anyone who doesn't conform to his definition of a "good" gay person, and then he comes in here and slams people yet again for not thinking how he thinks.

Look... I've really got no problem at all with bisexual men... a couple of the Fratmen are bi, and they're among my best friends there. You are what you are and nothing is going to change that any more than I'm suddenly going to become nice. Or tall.

Or bisexual, for that matter.

I just wouldn't date a bisexual guy... am I not allowed to decide who I will and won't date without getting called "Phobic?"

 

[69Strat]

I think the biggest prejudice I've seen pertaining to bisexuals is that they're incapable of committing, especially to a same-sex relationship. I also get the vibe from all the anti-bi comments that bisexuals are just whores. However, who's right to judge bisexuals as being worse off than anybody else? Admittedly, I read a lot of stuff here at JUB and some of it aggravates me. I feel that regardless of orientation and/or sex, a committed relationship is a sacred thing and sneaking around for sex outside of that relationship violates the integrity of it. To say that every singe bisexual does this is not only incorrect, but it's completely ignorant! Aren't the same things being said by some gay folks the same stereotypes that were being said about them not ten years ago?

At the risk of starting a war, shouldn't a community seeking acceptance from a "majority" (for lack of a better term) also be willing to extend that same courtesy to others? If not, isn't it hypocritical to expect equality while casting their worn-out stereotypes onto other people? Bisexuals aren't the only ones that "can't stay faithful" in a relationship. I'm sorry to say that there are straight women in the world who can't even tell which man is the father of their children. There are straight men who ditch their girlfriends/wives to get laid with another woman just because it's "getting boring at home." There are gay men who do the same thing on their boyfriends. At what point is this idea relegated to any single group?

Great post.

Be it gay, straight or bi, my impression over the years is that most men are unfaithful.

 

[VICTORIADON]

I find it most interesting that a bi-sexual who preaches so much about how much they are faithful and never fool around with someone else when they are in a committed relationship would make the statement "I think one mistake should be forgiven"
I'm gay so I've never read the "Bi-sexual Gentlemans' book of etiquitte", but in my book mistakes are not mistakes and if he has done it once, he will do it again. Straight, bi or gay.
http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2174199#post2174199

(as a common courtesy I have PM RRRalph to let him know I used one of his posts in one thread and used it in another)

 

[RRRalph]

So... gay people shoudln't party unless you approve of the way they party?

How dramatic… Nobody needs to have approval to party.

You say you want everyone to accept everyone else without judgement, but you then judge people who party on pride day. So which is it?

Everybody should accept each other. I gave my opinion that i’m not keen seeing naked gay men walking in the streets among others, that doesn’t represents the gay commity and isn’t helping the accpetance. We disagree about this, which is fine by me.

In two threads, RRRalph blames anyone who doesn't conform to his definition of a "good" gay person.

I’m getting tired of you… another dramatic over the top statement. That is simply not true .

I just wouldn't date a bisexual guy... am I not allowed to decide who I will and won't date without getting called "Phobic?"

You decide who you date. You decide not to date a bisexual guy, cuz you have bad experiences with some. So all other bisexual guys are high risks. That’s narrow minded. We are not all like that.

Look... I've really got no problem at all with bisexual men...

Yeah right :

Bi men will date gay men, but the gay man is always a temporary distraction and a dirty little secret from their straight respectable friends.

I think 90% of "bi" men are just gay cowards. I think that the majority of people who claim to be bi think that they're fooling us into thinking that they're somehow better than us because they're "less gay" or something. Kinda pathetic, really...

 

[pauljy]

I can understand the gay crowd feeling insecure about dating bi men and concerned that we'll all eventually settle down with women because it's "more acceptable", but surely unequal "acceptability" is something that (most) gay people are opposed to. If you accept it to condemn us then you implicitly accept it for yourselves. I think that's a mistake. You should resist your urge to feel this way.

For me, gender is irrelevant, I'm not concerned about "acceptability" in the least. Society and it's bigotry can go swivel. I want to form a relationship with someone I feel connected to and passionate about; someone who I can romantically feel is "the one". Why would I ever walk out on that person just because they don't have a pussy or a cock? That would be stupid.

If I ever do walk out on someone it is for one of the same reasons a gay or str8 man would walk out on a partner; I suspect that much of the prejudice has to do with dumped partners looking for reasons that get them off the hook.

 

[RRRalph]

I find it most interesting that a bi-sexual who preaches so much about how much they are faithful and never fool around with someone else when they are in a committed relationship would make the statement "I think one mistake should be forgiven". In my book mistakes are not mistakes and if he has done it once, he will do it again. Straight, bi or gay.

Everyone makes a mistake. I've made one: i cheated on my gf with another girl as you can read over here. I'm not proud of it and I've never done it again. I've learned from that mistake.

Question: have you only been cheated by bisexual guys?

 

[hermanding]

ralph, your use of the word WEIRD does not imply acceptance
ding

 

[Soilwork]

How dramatic… Nobody needs to have approval to party.

Well, *I* think so, you you made a whole thread called "Gay Pride Marches should be Banned"

"BAnned" means "an official or legal prohibition" so yeah... you seem to think that people should get permission from the government (or maybe just you) to throw a party.

I’m getting tired of you… another dramatic over the top statement. That is simply not true .

Yes it is. That "Gay Pride Marches should be Banned" thread and the "What do gays need to do to gain social acceptence" thread where you pretty much said "Start acting like straight people and they will accept you."

You decide not to date a bisexual guy, cuz you have bad experiences with some. So all other bisexual guys are high risks. That’s narrow minded. We are not all like that.

No. Not all. But i believe that MOST of you are like that, and I've seen too many examples in the lives of my friends and myself to ever be convinced otherwise.

Quote me all you want. I don't back off those statements. And you'll see that when i'm slagging guys who aren't really bisexual but claim to be, that I'm not slagging bisexual men.. just gay cowards. you're not one of those apparently, so that would mean that I'm not talking about you.

 

[Un_Golfo]

What people should know about bisexuals is... that it's easy that they feel double rejected, because some hetero people would think they are perverted, and soma gay people would think they are untrustful.

 

[gribbles]

Perhaps the whole argument really stems from the fact that it's difficult for a gay man to accept that his bisexual boyfriend/lover would choose to be with a woman over him. Gay couples break up all the time, yet it doesn't seem to provide the same level of "insult" that losing your man to woman does. Obviously, a gay man is going to believe that a gay lifestyle is the only way to find happiness. Any bi-sexual man not choosing that is just misguided or in denial.

It works the other way too. Women, who lose husbands or boyfriends to gay relationships, are left to wonder what they did wrong, what they didn't provide. And in the end, the real hurt comes from the fact that no matter what you do or say, you can't be the person they want. A man can't become a woman, nor can a woman become a man.

So, you're left to realize that there's absolutely no hope for the relationship at all, no matter how much you might want to work on it. You are fundamentally and permanently flawed because you are the wrong sex for that particular person. And that's what really sucks. The complete finality of it mixed with the insult of losing to someone whom you believe is somehow inferior (let's be honest, you do think women are sexually inferior, don't you?)

I'm continually surprised at how many gay men believe that bisexuality is just a form of denial. We are who we are and we feel what we feel. And I'd venture to say it probably stings a lot less to lose your bi boyfriend to another man than it does to lose him to a woman. If that's true, then the anger directed at bisexuals really isn't fair. Couples are happy, couples break-up. It shouldn't matter if their next relationship is with a man or a woman, as long as they are happy.

Maybe it would be better to stop requiring everyone on this planet to choose sides -- gay or straight -- and just let everyone live their lives in the way they choose.

 

[blueto21]

and soma gay people would think they are untrustful.

Well, what are we suppose to believe when the majority of bisexual men that we know personally are untrustworthy? They cheat on their gay male lovers and wives with other women and men. They break up with their gay male lovers for some chick they had on the side while dating the gay guy (unbeknownst to him) because they no longer crave penises but vaginas instead? Many bisexual men just use their male companions as causal sex partners and they do not intend on having a long-term relationship with a guy but they just want to use him for sex.

Gay men do this as well but I am referring to a long term relationship as in a potential life companion and partner. For the most part, it seems, that bisexual men want to settle down with a female for serious relationships and use their male companions for casual sex and as one jubber put it “no strings attached”. This isn’t about cheating. As Soilwork put it so candidly, and I hope he doesn’t mind me quoting him, “this is "I'm no longer attracted to you because you have a penis". (You don't get that problem with gay men, by the way)” and he is 100% correct in his opinion. Yes many gay men are cheated on by their male lovers but the potential success and outcome of the relationship has greater odds stacked against it than when compared to a gay/bi relationship because of the essential “I’m no longer attracted to you because you have a penis” characteristic. It gives the impression that the relationship is doomed from the get go.

Why should we as gay men open ourselves up to such heartache and set ourselves up for failure even before we can get one foot in the door? It makes no sense whatsoever. Why should we open ourselves up to dating bisexual men when the majority of bisexual men are not interested in settling down with a guy for a long term relationship? Most would rather have the wife and kids and the little white picket fence and be embraced and accepted by society for their heterosexual relationships. I mean even on this JUB forum, most of the bisexual men say they use men for sex and they look to women for quote unquote “serious relationships”. What do you expect us to believe about bisexual men when we hear THE MAJORITY SAYING THAT? Please explain to me why we should open ourselves up to this type of behavior? Explain to me why I should change my perspective? As of right now I don’t see it changing anytime soon. If you can give me a good enough reason then I just might change my opinion.

 

[blackbeltninja]

If you can give me a good enough reason then I just might change my opinion.

I'll do my best to give you a reason: Because the majority is not EVERY SINGLE ONE. There are bad apples; probably too many bad apples in the bunch, but it's not everyone.

As with all things, you have to be a bit selective and do a bit of research before you open your heart and your bed to someone. Find the right one, the one who is interested in a LTR with a guy, and then make your decision. Come on, you would do some research before buying a new car, renting a flat or apartment, getting a new mobile phone or mp3 player, and all those things are meant to be temporary. Do the same thing with your partners! I don't mean hire a private eye or become a stalker, but make the time and effort - as much as necessary - to test the waters and see if the thing has a chance before you get stuck in. If you end up pulling endless one-nighters indiscriminately, or hook-up looking for sex but secretly hoping to find love, you're bound to get the short end of the stick more often than not. Of course I'm not saying that this describes you in particular; but the lessons are common to all of us.

Please don't look at any one bi guy and write him off immediately without giving him a chance because you've been screwed over before.

-d-

 

[VICTORIADON]

As with all things, you have to be a bit selective and do a bit of research before you open your heart and your bed to someone. Find the right one, the one who is interested in a LTR with a guy, and then make your decision.

Your statement clearly leaves anyone who calls themselves "bi" out of the equation. If I am looking for a LTR relationship with a guy, the guy I am seeking will be wanting the same thing, which makes him homosexual/gay. Not bi.

 

[blackbeltninja]

^WRONG. Sorry - try again.

There are bi guys like me who have never fallen in love with a man, but have for a woman (in fact, 3 women in my time). At the moment, I do not know any guys I think I could love. I imagine there is a good chance I will end up with a woman one day; however, if I met a man I think I could actually fall in live with, that would be another story.

However, there are bi guys who are entirely the opposite and have only ever loved men, and there are bi guys who are in-between. All that "bisexual" means is that we are sexually - that is, physically and physiologically - attracted to both genders. It is purely a biological matter in that our bodies and bits and pieces react to both men and women. The emotional aspects of a relationship are another issue entirely - there are plenty of straight and gay guys who are either unwilling or incapable of committing to a relationship.

-d-

 

[VICTORIADON]

physically and physiologically[/B] - attracted to both genders.-d-

^ WRONG! "Bisexual" means having two sexes. Some flowers and worms are bisexual.
Bi-sexuality, when it comes to human behaviour, has only been used since the early 1900s to make some peoples homosexual behaviour "seem" more acceptable to themselves and western society.

 

[blackbeltninja]

^ WRONG! "Bisexual" means having two sexes. Some flowers and worms are bisexual.
Bi-sexuality, when it comes to human behaviour, has only been used since the early 1900s to make some peoples homosexual behaviour "seem" more acceptable to themselves and western society.

Well, I've always described something which has both sexes as a hermaphrodite. There is another term which I have forgotten which describes a species which can change its sex - I think it's a species of frog in which males can become females and vice versa to even up numbers during mating season if there is an abundance of either sex.

The term bisexuality may have been coined fairly recently, but that's only because detailed studies into human sexuality only started in the 1930s and that's pretty much when the practice really came to light.

Nevertheless, from dictionary.com:
Bisexual (bi·sex·u·al /baɪˈsɛkʃuəl)
1. Biology.
a. of both sexes.
b. combining male and female organs in one individual; hermaphroditic.
2. sexually responsive to both sexes; ambisexual.

Needless to say, us bi guys on here use meaning 2 above.

-d-

 

[fireside]

All this would be worlds easier if people would just accept the fact that everyone fits somewhere neatly on a scale between pretty much straight and pretty much gay. I can't wholeheartedly believe there are people that are so straight they only want interaction with opposite sex EVER, and so gay they only want interaction with same sex EVER. So when everyone accepts the fact that the scale doesn't have easily defined levels, everyone wins.

Go Kinsey.

 

[Soilwork]

You really are full of it.
When I get into a relationship with a guy, it means I want to be in a relationship with him.

no no.. we get that.

We just think that because of your sexual fluidity that before long you'll want to be in a relationship with a female and we'll kinda be at the mercy of your uncontrollable sexual attraction pendulum.

 

[Soilwork]

No, I'm basing my actions on my own experiences and insecurities.

You think I don't know that?

 

[VICTORIADON]

The term bisexuality may have been coined fairly recently, but that's only because detailed studies into human sexuality only started in the 1930s and that's pretty much when the practice really came to light.

WRONG- The term "bisexuality" in the human behavior sense has been widely used since 1914. Nothing of any note happened in that year which could have affected western society. Oh, WWI, the "great war" the "war to end all wars" started in 1914. We can't have homosexuals fighting in the fields of honour, no wait...if they have a wife or a girl friend...lets call them...