Why am I only attracted to straight guys?

[medic1]

You have plenty against feminine gay guys. You've said they should start acting like men and stop trying to be like women. The issue here is that feminine gay men are still males.

Shooting guns, working on cars and such? So feminine gay guys can't talk about those?

^^^^
So-so true , in one of his posts he said that all he wanted was to be the wife.

"I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN IN A MANS BODY"

Defence rest`s your Honour .

 

[USEDCAR]

I was always attracted to straight guys in the past until i realize its hopeless falling for straight guys. Its like driving on the road to no where, I understand where your coming from i find straight guys more approachable and easy to talk too its amazing how i can have a good conversation with one.

And on the flip side i talk to a gay guy and its hard trying to get a conversation going. I don't know how many gay guys i tried to talk too and I'm always the one doing all the talking. Its a sad fact if your not cute or have a look they want they are not going to give you any time.

Have you try going to areas where gays hang out?

 

[Soilwork]

Doesn't help that just yesterday, one of the hottest straight guys I knew from the military just told me he's curious about doing something with a guy. Country boy type, huge muscles, wrestler/jock guy. Probably a guy you'd never expect to be curious about messing around with a guy.

Well then..

You go show him how a real man does it. Just take it easy on him.. He's not like us.

Yet.

 

[-Kane-]

I think what Jasun alludes to in his video posting is that there is something maladaptive about gays in society, although he did not put it that way, nor would I guess he would describe it in that terminology.

But, it is what we use the slang term "gaydar" to express. There is a detectable behavioral quirk, and it is not as overt as glancing at a crotch or ass, but it is there. Instead of any one characteristic, it is the composite of several interactive skills and traits, which change from one culture and country to the next. When gaydar is attuned to Norway, it may not pick up the right clues in Myanmar.

We, as like individuals, recognize sameness. It is an evolutionary adaptation that is used in many other situations to help individuals in larger populations.

Whether one buys into a genetic causation model for homosexuality, or one that is driven by interactive development by the individual, the idiosyncratic markers do wind up as evidence, whether they precede the formation of homosexual mentality within the man, or they result after it has formed. The oft-repeated claim that adults can detect homosexuality in young children may or may not be a reality, depending upon whether the markers precede, coexist, or follow same-sex attraction's development..

Wow, I couldn't agree more with this post

I've always believed that gay men and heterosexual women were wired the same as it relates to our attraction and our responses to masculinity. Straight men seem to broadcast a different frequency that appeals to both str8 females and gay men. It could be pheromones or some other chemical (or social) component. (I don't know )

Speaking for myself, I typically find myself attracted to str8 guys as well. I tend to respond to their innate masculinity and their sometimes lack of superficial self awareness. And while I never pursue these desires, I can atleast recognize and identify them within myself and work around those feelings.

 

[refujiunderground]

to me, this is something that i DON'T want to do and for the most part, hasn't happened to me. in fact, i feel 100 percent more comfortable being attracted to other guys that are gay like myself than are straight. i have a lot of straight male friends and i do not feel comfortable even thinking about them like that. i don't even want to get THEM uncomfortable because i feel that as friends, we should be able to talk as just friends. there's that respect that i have for them where i can tell these guys anything without overstepping my bounds or them doing the same thing with me. i don't even want to think of them like that, period even though i've had moments where i've had dreams about them and stuff naked or whatever. i would rather draw my attention to my fellow gay men and there's a lot of hot gay guys outthere.

to me, i feel that being attracted to only straight guys is just as bad as knowing that a woman is attracted to you but you're gay. it's like "she wants me but i don't want her". i like her as a friend and she's cool and all but i don't want to lead her on and hurt her feelings by not letting her know. i would rather let her know that there's no chance that we'll be hooking up and let her deal with it however she wants to deal with it. she'll survive.

 

[Knucklehead]

I guess this is a big problem that a lot of bi and gay guys go though.


I am so drawn to straight men and there are very few gay men that I have been attracted to. To me, I see something different in straight men. I guess it's a more raw masculinity and just like a bold, natural confidence. I don't really know how to explain it. Part of it is the "winning them over" thing, which isn't very realistic.


With most gay men, I find very few that I am attracted to because most of the time there is something about them. Like something is off, or different, and I can notice it in their behavior right away. This isn't always the case, but most of the time it is.


Is it just me, or is it just that I have a preference that is too hard to find? I have met masculine gay guys, but the majority of them had a, for lack of better word, softness to them. When I go online to the gay sites, I never really find many people I'm interested in. I'd imagine it would be the same at bars/clubs.


This is something I could never figure out.


Anyone else felt that way before and what changed your view?

Nah,you're not alone..Lot's of guys like you.They wouldn't walk across the street to spit in the face of a decent ,out,gay man..

Instead,they seek to please and earn validation from other men who,either don't know they exist,don't want anything to do with them,or, 3,use them as a human cum rag and just want a blowjob from anyone---man woman or beast when they are horny..After they cum,it's ''eat it and beat it..''

Homophobic fags sums it up for me..

Good luck ...Or should I say,get used to being all alone..

 

[Keljuki]

Maybe it's just human nature to want something that's unattainable.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Doesn't help that just yesterday, one of the hottest straight guys I knew from the military just told me he's curious about doing something with a guy. Country boy type, huge muscles, wrestler/jock guy. Probably a guy you'd never expect to be curious about messing around with a guy.

Okay... I guess that's cool? So, are you going to suck his dick or something? Or you can come back to the discussion you created where people are trying to give you help and advice about your situation.

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

Alot of people are going to tell you you're wrong for having an attraction to straight guys but don't let judgemental people affect you. As long as you don't act on your lust to straight guys and make them feel uncomfortable, there's nothing wrong with a harmless little fantasy.

There's nothing "wrong" with being attracted to straight guys.

However, if you fixate on them to point that it deters you from attainable men, then it becomes a problem.

 

[Soilwork]

Yeah. Gareth Thomas is such a flamer.

 

[Soilwork]

I just Googled him. His poor wife.

Sad story.

Well his lucky boyfriend now...

 

[MindBlast]

Sultan, I have to say this thread is one of the more honest threads I've ever seen from you.

I understand where you're coming from. I too am attracted to the 'country boy, thick muscular built, scruffy' kind of guys. The thing is, in certain areas, those guys exist and are gay. I think the whole mannerisms and such are a product of the environment a guy lives in, rather than whether he's gay or straight, or bi.

Alberta where I live is a pretty good example of this. There's not much of a "gay community" here, not really any "gay ghettos". The gay guys are sort of spread out, and there aren't many gay bars (2 in Edmonton, maybe 3 in Calgary I think). Being integrated with the rest of society, most of those gay guys aren't flamboyant. A lot of them are downright masculine and you'd never be able to tell.

I think part of your issue is that you really like the chase, and you might actually like it when a guy is UNSURE of himself! I know it sounds contradictory, but if I had to guess, you like the idea of showing one of those guys what guy-on-guy action is like. I think it's cute, the bit of nervousness that a big masculine guy has the first time he messes around with a guy. But I can tell you this, the fantasy does NOT match the reality. I've been there and done that with curious guys, some of who were extremely masculine and confident outside of guy on guy action. The sex was pretty bad. It was fun for a few minutes but after that, it really wasn't. Give me an out (but still masculine) gay man anyday.

From what I recall of pictures of you, you look like you fit into that masculine category yourself. I'm not as muscular as you are, but I try. I'm a hard gainer. I love cars and only drive manual transmissions. I like getting dirty and doing hard work. But the best thing is, there are lots of guys like me out there who are bulkier. I'm not sure if you, or any of the straight-guy-only lovers would find a gay guy like me attractive. I attached some pictures of me, including one of me and my beloved 2007 Acura TL Type-S, 6spd manual. I've got a deep voice and I'm not flamey at all. I'm just curious what you guys think. I've never been with a girl in my life (not even kissed one). I've always been sure of my sexuality ever since I was young, but I don't have any female friends and never did until recently when I became friends with a lesbian.

I just hope that guys like you know that there are GAY guys out there that actually would want you and are actually good in bed. It's just they might not be easy to find because they aren't setting off your gaydar.

 

[Nomenclature]

I think the proper term is "sibilant S."*

Well, it's not really an "S" thing. The typical "gay accent" has more of a complex use of inflection, intonation, pitch range, "vocal fry", etc that's distinctive from the way straight men usually speak.


:: adjusts nerd glasses ::


I think Sultan just needs to find a masculine gay man. I mean, there are butch rugby and football players, for example, that stay closeted for years before coming out to the general public. If Sultan wants a masculine male who doesn't wear his sexuality on his sleeve, then it's possible to find that out there. . .though understandably more difficult.

 

[Soilwork]

Actually, LA (and most of America) is crawling with hot, masculine gay men who play rugby or ride motorcycles or surf or play the male lead in Prison Break or Immortals. (and for posting that I was just un-invited from about 20 pool parties in the hills. Meh, they're boring anyway)

Also plenty of lame-O closet losers who spend all their money on high-price rent boys and marriage contracts to C-list actresses who want to be A-list.

The point is that you have to know where to look and you have to be willing to be "out" and put yourself in situations where you meet those masculine gay men. And remember that those guys generally aren't going to waste their time with guys who are too scared to be seen as "gay" by playing on a gay hockey team or riding with a gay motorcycle club or sparring with a gay Muay Thai group (like my husband does. and yes, I wank off thinking about that)

 

[Asenath]

Why am I only attracted to straight guys?

Because you don't have to date them.

Now, I'm not saying this to bash straight guys. And I'd never lump all straight guys in together, because that's just a big mess of assumptions and fail.

But it's easier for you to idealize a straight guy & pine for him from afar for any number of reasons - Jasun's elaborated some, please ignore dduder's because he's a moron - because you've never actually had to be in a relationship with one.

It's not all happy football games and beer pong and drunk makeouts.

 

[medic1]

Sultan , in thr couple of year`s that i have been reading your posts i have
to say that you are not that same guy .

Back then you posted so many angry and frustrated posts that sometimes i
will be honest and say that i used to think what a twat .

No longer dude the change though slow at times has been really great to
witness , if i can remember rightly you even posted after that silly DADT
rule was wiped from the books that you had come-out to some senior officers.

That takes a lot of courage , i for one am rooting for you , i cannot say that i
understand because i dont , but i can understand your frustations.

Wishing you well , Adam.

 

[MVincent]

Well, it's not really an "S" thing. The typical "gay accent" has more of a complex use of inflection, intonation, pitch range, "vocal fry", etc that's distinctive from the way straight men usually speak.

I Googled "vocal fry" and found this:



What a delicious way to learn what the term means.

That boy could discuss the phone-book and I'd watch for days...

 

[pat grimshaw]

( I wonder if Darren Criss does the Vocal Fry?)