Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

[DigitalFudge]

This statement could be turned right around on its face and we could say-- and it would be true-- that some probably not accurately measurable portion of men with low numbers of sex partners fall into one of these categories:

a) are uncomfortable with sex or their own sexuality
b) have some kind of psychological sex-guilt imposed by abstract concepts of Judeo-Christian morality in western societies
c) have low self esteem
d) are in the closet and have difficulty in finding partners

Nnnnnnnn what kind of backfire.

This thread just keeps giving



What's wrong with having Christian values, though?


Have they ever lead us astray?

 

[Rolyo85]

Nnnnnnnn what kind of backfire.

This thread just keeps giving



What's wrong with having Christian values, though?


Have they ever lead us astray?

Haha, I SALTS'd at that

 

[tigerfan482]

Well at least you are honest about your prejudices and insecurity.

You know on the other side there is also the people who cheat because they never had their wild era (especially people who get married young / have been long term with someone since their teen years/young adulthood). I'm not a fan of putting people in boxes and then judging them based on that so I try to stay away from this type of mindset. I hope someday you will too.

And there are those who don't cheat and never have a wild era. There are people of all kinds out there.

And while you may not put people in boxes and judge them based on their sexual experience, you do put people in boxes and judge them on other criteria. Everyone judges others when it comes to something like a relationship which is based heavily on personal preference. So while I may use your history of who you have slept with when it comes to making relationship decisions, that's where it ends. If I met you on the street, I could give two shits about how many guys you've been with. When it comes to being friends with someone, again, I don't care what your background is in sexual activities. However, when it comes to a relationship, that's when that starts becoming a consideration. I think everyone in here has posted indicating that they have some prejudice(s) when it comes to relationships, so I don't see anything wrong with having those.

 

[bankside]

And there are those who don't cheat and never have a wild era. There are people of all kinds out there.

And while you may not put people in boxes and judge them based on their sexual experience, you do put people in boxes and judge them on other criteria. Everyone judges others when it comes to something like a relationship which is based heavily on personal preference. So while I may use your history of who you have slept with when it comes to making relationship decisions, that's where it ends. If I met you on the street, I could give two shits about how many guys you've been with. When it comes to being friends with someone, again, I don't care what your background is in sexual activities. However, when it comes to a relationship, that's when that starts becoming a consideration. I think everyone in here has posted indicating that they have some prejudice(s) when it comes to relationships, so I don't see anything wrong with having those.

Sometimes they're not "prejudices" though, but "assessments."

 

[MissAnne]

The health part goes without saying of course (i.e. getting tested soon and regularly.) The worst part of it would be that it would mean trust would take a longer time to build. I would have to get over that voice in the back of my head asking things like "can he really turn it on and off just like that?", "will I measure up to the 100+ other guys he's been with?", and "is he really working late or does he have his secret Grindr account?" Granted, there are plenty of people out there who may never think that, but it's my thought process and so it's the perspective I have.

I see these as valid worries.

 

[tigerfan482]

btw, have we all come to an 'agreement' on what qualifies as promiscuity?

I never considered myself myself as such during my single years...but I'm interested in hearing if I qualify(ied) or not...
I was kinda bad...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promiscuity

 

[bankside]

btw, have we all come to an 'agreement' on what qualifies as promiscuity?

I never considered myself myself as such during my single years...but I'm interested in hearing if I qualify(ied) or not...
I was kinda bad...

I don't think you can put a number on it, though I'm sure the usual people assume I do.

 

[Stoowii]

btw, have we all come to an 'agreement' on what qualifies as promiscuity?

I never considered myself myself as such during my single years...but I'm interested in hearing if I qualify(ied) or not...
I was kinda bad...

Ditto.

I'm 26 and have had sex with 9 different men since the age 17. Does that make me a Whore-or-scope?

 

[eastofeden]

btw, have we all come to an 'agreement' on what qualifies as promiscuity?
I never considered myself myself as such during my single years...but I'm interested in hearing if I qualify(ied) or not...
I was kinda bad...

I think promiscuity is something that we need to define for ourselves.....

I defined myelf as a slut once upon a time...and I had alot of self respect. I have to chuckle when people equate other people's sexuality with a lack of self respect. The only time I didn't have self respect was when I compromised myself to fit into someone else's idea of who I should be.

 

[Laufey]

And while you may not put people in boxes and judge them based on their sexual experience, you do put people in boxes and judge them on other criteria. Everyone judges others when it comes to something like a relationship which is based heavily on personal preference.

You flat out said you would be more worried about them cheating on you.

Sure you can call it preference but it's still based on prejudges.

And just because we all do it it doesn't mean we shouldn't try to limit it and criticize those who go overboard with it.

 

[Rolyo85]

Ditto.

I'm 26 and have had sex with 9 different men since the age 17. Does that make me a Whore-or-scope?

Yeah, you're kinda... not really close

- - - Updated - - -

And so far the only relevant definition of "promiscuous" I've ever heard, is "Someone who has more sex than I do".

 

[xbuzzerx]

Yeah, you're kinda... not really close

- - - Updated - - -

And so far the only relevant definition of "promiscuous" I've ever heard, is "Someone who has more sex than I do".

There's an adage in the gamer community:

"Anyone not as good as me is a noob. Anyone better than me has no life."

It seems analagous here.

 

[DigitalFudge]

@OP: The reason why there is a substantial percentage of promiscuous gay men is because when you get two (Or more

) ghey men in a room, there is no one there to say no.



Do I win the thread?

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

a ifs man a drink wata threw nose ans 1 dude use mouth

it make good why fa worlds awsums spend 100000 yrs on?

this was nice

exit right

thankyou

 

[Adrock-JD]

When the vast majority of one's family, friends, co-workers, and all are going to harshly judge any acknowledged relationship with another male, it makes a one-night-stand all the more easier of a decision.

In other words, what difference does it make?

 

[Laufey]

@OP: The reason why there is a substantial percentage of promiscuous gay men is because when you get two (Or more

) ghey men in a room, there is no one there to say no.



Do I win the thread?

You win

 

[MorrisseyX]

When the vast majority of one's family, friends, co-workers, and all are going to harshly judge any acknowledged relationship with another male, it makes a one-night-stand all the more easier of a decision.

In other words, what difference does it make?

I think this is an interesting comment, I don't know about the other guys on this board but although I am out to my family the only person who asks me about my personal life is my sister. We are around the same age. However, my parents never ask me if I have a boyfriend they know I am gay but they certainly don't want to see me bring a man over for Christmas dinner or Thanksgiving dinner. I know my folks would not approve of that. My parents tolerate me being gay but they certainly don't want to see it in front of their face.

So, I think for myself and maybe for some other gay men maybe sleeping around is a way to compensate for these feelings.

I personally would rather not have to go to a bathhouse to get laid or get a blow job but I get horny and I get frustrated with the online crap.

I would like to meet someone one day and have a serious relationship but I'm 36 years old and I am starting to think about it more and more. I read stories on this site about people falling in love and being in happy relationships and it helps me to feel hopeful that maybe one day I can have this. I don't even care if I dated someone for even one year but it would be nice to have someone special one day.

But as of right now, a part of me feels maybe I am too much a dreamer, to think at 36 I can really meet someone when I haven't really had a serious relationship as an adult.

 

[EuroSoccer]

@OP: The reason why there is a substantial percentage of promiscuous gay men is because when you get two (Or more

) ghey men in a room, there is no one there to say no.



Do I win the thread?

 

[Laufey]

I'm not buying the whole gays are more promiscuous because we are judged by others. In fact plenty of guys try not to be because it's a "negative stereotype".

I think the simple explanation of it being two (or more) men weighs the most. Because of biological reasons men are more likely to have promiscuous urges but the difference is that it's easier for gay men to act on it than for straight men.

 

[MorrisseyX]

I'm not buying the whole gays are more promiscuous because we are judged by others. In fact plenty of guys try not to be because it's a "negative stereotype".

I think the simple explanation of it being two (or more) men weighs the most. Because of biological reasons men are more likely to have promiscuous urges but the difference is that it's easier for gay men to act on it than for straight men.

I think there also social reasons that need to be considered though in relation to gay men being promiscious. Although most western countries now have a more relaxed and accepting attitude towards homosexuality there is still a social stigma about being gay in some families.

Gayle Rubin, wrote an essay about different hierachies about sexuality and their acceptability in society a couple of decades ago. Lauren Berlant has also written about hierachies about sexuality and how people negotiate their sexuality in sub cultures since the mainstream still has a problem with homosexuality.

Society does allow gay men to sleep around more at least in the western world but I don't think it always relates to sexual freedom or choice. I do think an underlying reason is about feelings of shame which I think some gay men find difficult to discuss about.

Also, you don't see lesbians cruising in the park, or in public washrooms, or doing the kind of things gay men do. Since lesbians are also women if they took the kind of risks in public gay men do they could be sexually assaulted. I think female sexuality is judged more harshly than male sexuality. Heterosexual women who sleep around are slut shamed and considered fallen women. Even if a straight woman uses condoms, birth control, practices safer sex if people find out she sleeps around she's seen as a slut by some people.