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Why are other gay men so cruel to me?

altlover85 said:
I wrote that you backpedaled through your use of language. I feel this backpedaling was evident by the fact that you added the (not all) after gay men and not before.

I agree to disagree though.
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so because i said something differently than you would have put it means i, myself, might be insecure? hmm.
 
I think the way we choose to write reveals things about ourselves.

To answer your question yes.

Regardless, I feel we could drop this now, if you would like.
 
Self-fulfilling prophecy is right. Even if you are truly unattractive, I know plenty of very unattractive gays who are plenty popular in their social circles with the pretty boys.
 
Lube said:
You'd be surprised. It's not self-involved at all. I constantly have to clue guys in that I'm just being friendly and, no, I'm not looking for sex.
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Yeah ... so true! The reason I say that is I hear it from straight guys (imagine that) who think that any guy who's just being friendly is gay and hitting on them. Puh-leeeeezzzze.......

I think either you're oversensitive and reading something that's not there, or that we'd have to meet you in person to see what the problem is. People's self-image is sometimes completely at odds with how they come across to others.
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My diagnosis? OP, I think maybe you're afraid of being rejected. So, you reject them before they have a chance to reject you. :)
 
Travisevian said:
I've never understood if that kind of response from heterosexual men is arrogance, ignorance, paranoia or all of the above.
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It's getting out of hand. You can't even look in someone's direction without them thinking you're trying to check them out. I feel guilty when I let my eyes wander because some self-absorbed douche might catch me staring in his direction.
 
I look at guys, but most times I don't think they notice and if they do they never make an issue of it. I almost always do it in passing though.
 
altlover85 said:
I look at guys, but most times I don't think they notice and if they do they never make an issue of it. I almost always do it in passing though.
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I find it very very easy to distinguish between someone glancing at me and someone checking me out. It's not easy to hide.
 
Honestly, a lot of gay men who are into the whole club and bar scene are very catty and superficial. Don't even bother with those kinds of people and just concentrate on making friends regardless of if they're gay, straight, bi, etc.
 
If you are going categorize 'alot of the men' who are in the bar or club scene as superficial then you are part of the problem. Reality check...and this is good for anywhere in life...people are individuals...period. If you don't understand that...you are part of the problem...not the solution. Of course there are some shallow people in the club scene but to be fair...we would have to define shallow first.

Why protest a homophobe for making judgements about us if we are going to do the same thing to each other?

What I find...people project things they don't like about themselves onto other people. For instance..the assholes insist that everyone else is a asshole. The cheaters think everyone cheats...the lairs think everyone is lying...the most shallow insist everyone else is shallow...the boring people insist everyone else is boring...and on and on it goes.
 
eastofeden said:
If selves onto other people. For instance..the assholes insist that everyone else is a asshole. The cheaters think everyone cheats...the lairs think everyone is lying...the most shallow insist everyone else is shallow...the boring people insist everyone else is boring...and on and on it goes.
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Wait.. were you trying to address me? :elf:
 
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