Why are you single?

[GM1985]

I agree with the observation that alot of guys just seem to be into sex without a relationship.

Every guy (not that there are many) that I have had some form of sexual contact with were guys that I really liked, though they end up fucking you over for their own selfish reasons. I have been told on a couple of occasions that I may have high standards, I didn't realise that wanting someone who wasn't selfish and untrustworthy was having high standards.

I've been single for nearly 5 years, I'm 24 in august and my longest relationship was 3 months

Recently I have attracted some older guys over the net who are lovely people but I just don't really have alot in common with them.

And as for going out on the scene, I've done that for the past few years and, well there isn't alot on offer in terms of people who like more than shagging for the night.

Other than those reasons, I've actually begun to enjoy being single, I'm working towards a good career and have plenty of geeky interests that most of my friends and family get confused at

Anyways putting aside my self consciousness and akwardness I think it'll only be a matter of time LOL.

 

[spooger]

1) i lacked confidence in being gay for most of my younger years so i avoided the issue

2) my partner of 10 years died tragically, leaving me solo once again

3) i [STRIKE]dsire [/STRIKE] demand monogamy, while so many men i meet want only casual sex

4) i am mostly attracted to men much younger than i, which at my age - despite my fit, healthy, active, young appearance - means there are few who are interested

5) i travel alot both for my job and for fun, leaving little time in one place to feed and water a relationship

6) i have accommodated to being single, despite my actual desire to be partnered

******************************************************************

now for my observations in this thread:

there are many like myself who are single because it requires less effort than looking

there are many who seek a meaningful if not monogamous relationship rather than hit-and-run sex

there are many who think themselves to be less desirable than others who see us from a distant perspective

so why don't we of like minds here on JUB actually MEET each other? ...

i mean .. here we are ... we're looking for the same things, we acknowlege our insecurities to each other ... and yet we keep at a distance.... go figure!

 

[GL]

so why don't we of like minds here on JUB actually MEET each other? ...

i mean .. here we are ... we're looking for the same things, we acknowlege our insecurities to each other ... and yet we keep at a distance.... go figure!

this is just my 2 cents but from my own experience i have come to realize that what some people project here isn't necessarily their true selves. sometimes its an idealized version, for some its a complete fabrication. hell there are people here i've met in real life and came away realizing they are just not good people. i'm sure there are guys here who are on the up and up but its hard to know. the few members i've met in the real world, well there was no romantic spark but many of them are great friends outside of the boards.

My experience with this site goes like this:

The guy we like, that ACTUALLY SEEMS to like us back(not all the playflirting, but the guy you actually "talk to"), seems to live 1000 miles away, out of your feasible grasp.

Which isn't my experience, but i observe alot of things. I can't find any JUBbers in my OWN state to hang with on a regular basis - i sincerely doubt i'd find a date here.

i have to agree with you on all of your points.

 

[ourgaysite]

I have found the same thing. A lot of people feel the need to be someone else online just because they can. You pretty much need to get to know someone all over again once you meet in person.

 

[Ekim23]

"It's funny how a man only thinks about the...
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your...
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your...
There ain't no pain in me looking at your..."

 

[Jory]

Why is it the ones that have partners alway ask us that are single that question?

 

[Ekim23]

^...if that's a PCD song, i'm going to have you hung by your...

LOOOL
actually there's will i am on that song..

and if u think u scare me ... pshh

(he song was on the radio a few minutes ago and when i saw this thread i thought that could fit)

 

[Jory]

Because no one realizes what I catch I am.

Yes, virtually all gay men are moronic buffoons with the discernment and insight of a petrified dinosaur turd.

Who knew?

I think he got it By Jove he's got

 

[USEDCAR]

i am fat and unattractive
I live in a sucky area with hardly any gays and the few gays here are stuck up and picky
plus i don't drunk alcohol or smoke cigs/weed seems like everyone does that
Every time i find a guy im interested in they are in engaged with a baby on the way

 

[belamy]

 

[frankfrank]

I've actually had too many projects, i.e. I've been TOO BUSY to try to cultivate anything like a relationship! Certainly time is needed, it's more than a casual once in a while thing...

I'm trying to change that...

 

[p3jedi]

Because no one is interested in a guy in a wheelchair like me.

 

[r-method]

so why don't we of like minds here on JUB actually MEET each other? ...

i mean .. here we are ... we're looking for the same things, we acknowlege our insecurities to each other ... and yet we keep at a distance.... go figure!

Agreed.

I went to a Dallas JUB meet about 2 or 3 years ago...

It was a lot of fun and the people I did meet were all very nice...

But I felt so akward and out of place. It was literally my first time "out." In public. With others who were as well. I swear that whole weekend I probably said 3 sentences. And when I think about it, I hope the others didn't see that as being too dull, highly shy or down right rude. I left the meet feeling like I could of done more, said more; left some type of positive, memorable impression. But I'm 99.9% sure I didn't.

Dont get me wrong though, the next JUB meet we have nearby I am definitely attending. "Practice makes perfect", as they say.

But hopefully, this time, with more to say...

 

[gaultierfnd2007]

My friends say I'm too picky. I say I'm holding out. There is nothing wrong with standards. Plus, I've heard that I give bad first impressions. Something about me being abrasive and imposing. Though I wonder how a skinny, queeny, black boy with the voice of a WASP (White Anglo Saxon Protestant) can be imposing. But, hey I'm alot to handle I just have to find a boy who can handle it all.

 

[MrWright]

I love this song.