Re: Why do they have to be straight? (I NEED HELP
I've completely resigned to the fact that I will never meet someone as perfect as he is,
Thinking like that, you won't. You need to look to find. You're too busy harping on what you can't have.
You know why gay guys fall for straights? Because they need to replicate the feelings they had when they first discovered their sexuality.
When a gay guy is 12 or 13 and falling in love for the first time, he has intense feelings of pain because he knows it can't be. He feels alone.
A few years later, he's in high school and his sexual urges are much more intense. He's now falling in love again, maybe for the second time in his life or more. And AGAIN, the object of his affection is a straight friend. (You can't blame the gay kid for falling for straights; that's mostly all there is where he is in school or in his neighborhood.)
So now it's a few or more years later and guess what? Gay guy now *CAN* have what he's always wanted. (Personal ads, internet, gay bars, etc.) He *CAN* have returned affection and love from another man. But he does NOT go for it.
Why?
Answer: He gravitates towards what he KNOWS, towards the ROLE he KNOWS, that of unfulfilled, closeted gay guy pining for a handsome, masculine, straight friend. He erroneously tells himself that "all gays are not masculine." But that is not true and that is not the REAL reason the gay guy flocks towards only straights.
He learned this pattern early on when his cock got very excited for the first time. He's programmed himself to replicate this over and over, this falling for what he can't have.
Just like a woman who needs to find out why she marries an alcoholic every time she gets married (maybe 4 times), a gay guy has got to face himself and break this self-destructive pattern.
It's not easy to do. But when you make the effort to put yourself out there, you will find a handsome, masculine stud who will return your love. You will have a healthy relationship.
Sadly, people gravitate towards unhealthy, painful relationships because that's what they internalized early on as to what is sexually exciting. They never knew anything else. Also, their self-esteem is low so they believe they "deserve" to suffer.
Stop playing that role! Give it to someone else and find some happiness out there!
p.s. I learned from the school of hard knocks. After a while you get SOOOOO tired of doing this that you vow to be happy and make a good life for yourself.
The last straight dude who manipulated me was the last straw. He pushed buttons of pain and excitement that I had not remembered since the SEVENTH grade! And I was so hurt you would think I would have RUN. But, no, I ran TO him. I ran TO this pain. It's what I knew. It awakened dormant feelings associated with that early sexuality.
This is why gays run to straights. They need to replicate this role of the unfulfilled gay guy pining for the straight who won't return his love.
I laugh now at how fulfilling my life is sexually with my MASCULINE and GAY partner. And talk about replicating patterns, he looks almost exactly like the straight dude I pined for from 7th to 12th grade.
