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A Hairy Gnome Companion: Lawn Decorum And Vacuum Tales

"eJ"

let it go babe.

He won't remember why he was in trouble anyway.

Hell, last night he told the cab driver to take him home

When the cabby asked where he said

Take Me Home Country Roads, To the place I belong

West New Yorker sing my song. Over snowy roads

To my rock and little Chester take me home country roads.

:cry::##:(*S*):##::cry:
 
(My dad sent it to me . . .)

And think of the age old child rebellion - Long hair was the norm for centuries, till our parent's generation and WWII/post WWII, so what do "WE" do? Grow it long, and it becomes fashionable in moderation.

What do OUR kids do? Shave their heads.

Of course, I know a few "getting on there" "next generation" who are shaving their heads because they inherited the "vanishing hairline syndrome" and don't want THAT to be so visible.

Telley Savalas, anyone?
Which brings us back to the first item in the list.

(On the plus side, it helps keep the lice situation under control.)
 
Lefty said:
"eJ"
let it go babe.
He won't remember why he was in trouble anyway.
Hell, last night he told the cab driver to take him home
When the cabby asked where he said
Take Me Home Country Roads, To the place I belong
West New Yorker sing my song. Over snowy roads
To my rock and little Chester take me home country roads.
:cry::##:(*S*):##::cry:
Click to expand...

Good One, Lefty. And before your AM bowel movement, too.
 
Thanks

but really it was only 'fare'

the 'meter' was off and the

'ride' was a bit bumpy.
 
We know you like a bumpy ride.
better'n "magic fingers" beds at the cheap motels you normally frequent.
 
Motel....motel...:confused:

You son of a bitch

feed me hurricanes all night

then tell me that was the bedroom wing with pool

at your estate....and oh my god,,,,that wasn't your

tongue and fingers and what was I dipping my

...oh no:eek::eek::eek::eek:....antiseptic quick,,,,the whole tube doc.
 
From my recent e-mails . . .

ONLY IN TEXAS...
​
Texas Beer Joint Sues Church ​
In Mt. Vernon, Texas, Drummond's Bar began construction on expansion of their building to increase their business.​

In response, the local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.​
​
After the bar burning to the ground by a lightning strike the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about the power of prayer, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church "was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means".​

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise. ​

The judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply and at the opening hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that now does not." ​

True Story.

Somehow, I believe this one.
​
 
Jews don't recognize Jesus Christ as the Messiah.

Protestants don't recognize The Pope as God's Ambassador.

Baptists don't recognize each other in bars or brothels.

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz :slap:
 
The Mule​


One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway; ​
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and
help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried
horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the wel! l and
happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well
is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.​

Give more.

Expect less​
NOW .......​

Enough of that crap. The donkey later came back,​
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. ​
The gash from the bite got infected and​
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.​
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
,
When you do something wrong, and try to cover
your ass, it always comes back to bite you.​
 
^
another one like that and I will have to consider a catheter when reading here.

btw, did you read my jokes 'en blog'...did you get the rEal-mail ones?
 
I got an e-mail. It took me a few to realize it was a blog post vs. a thread post.
 
DonQuixote said:
He's ALIVE!

Hi, Chaz.
Click to expand...

Yep! The tales of my demise were just a tad precipitous. :lol:

Hi, "Kids"!! :wave:

And, now, I shall continue to scurry about, in "stealth mode", attempting to catch up on what the hell is going on! ..|

If a shadow should waft across your path, that might have been Me. (group)

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz :luv:
 
man misses my 6th anniversary, my 21,000th post and expects me to

just drop everything and run up all huggy and kissy?

well...ok...but just this once. I do have my pride.
 
What day was your anniversary? Only shows Month, year.
I was up until almost your 21K post. but had to go to sleep. I congratulated both you and Kuli on his the very next day.

Here's your hug, ya big lug.
 
donnie.

the :jab:was a giggle with Chaz....you were fine.

my JUB wedding date was 11 Jan 05 hence 6th was

1-11-11.
 
The Big Shit House.

I see another of our MIA comrades lurking around, but no commentary from him.
 
Lefty! :wave:

Congrats on your JUB anniversary, and I'm looking forward to your 21,342 post! (!) (!w!) (group)

Who says I don't pay attention to such things? :slap: #-o:lol:

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz :luv2:
 
Lights are out, but hi to Lefty and Blizz anyway.
The Mule piece was good.
Does anyone know this Chaz guy who showed up?
 
Chaz? Never heard of him before.
He hasn't read countless stories in the stories forum, either.
And, he isn't helping Kuli with some artwork for Fit for Life, either.
Like I said, Never heard of either Chaz or his Partner, Kevin.
 
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