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Being a gay male is a life ruiner. Reddit post.

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^I really do follow your threads with great interest, they give me an insight into the life of an African American i would not otherwise have. And for that i thank you.

However, don't you think you seem to be playing this all encompassing "victim" so much, that it may have clouded your judgement to the fact that there are indeed decent white guys out there. Who have no hidden agenda?
 
medic1 said:
^I really do follow your threads with great interest, they give me an insight into the life of an African American i would not otherwise have. And for that i thank you.

However, don't you think you seem to be playing this all encompassing "victim" so much, that it may have clouded your judgement to the fact that there are indeed decent white guys out there. Who have no hidden agenda?
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Where the fuck are that? I'm getting impatient.
 
I see the pity party is still in full swing.
 
Taralen said:
Where the fuck are they at? You have not once sent me a PM or anything to talk on skype or any of that shit. Why not? I'm the less fortunate one, you should be helping me out, not the other way around.
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I don't owe you anything.
 
Kabluey said:
I don't owe you anything.
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Yes you do. You should check your white privilege.

If you're not going to help me, don't say there are gays willing to help you, when clearly you're not one of them. That number is getting quite low.
 
Taralen said:
Yes you do. You should check your white privilege.

If you're not going to help me, don't say there are gays willing to help you, when clearly you're not one of them. That number is getting quite low.
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You don't need my help.
 
Taralen said:
I respectfully disagree. Verbal and mental abuse is way worse in my opinion. Physical pain is temporary, bruises go away, wounds heal. But it's more of the verbal and mental and psychological abuse is worse. "Fuck you faggot." "I'm not gay, so don't do anything gay around me." The fact that if those white guys who flipped me off and verbally abused me in the street perceived me as a gangster masculine thug, they wouldn't even think twice about doing what the fuck they did. Their asses would have been roadkill.

Since I was a feminine queen in the street, it matters what they think of me. They felt above me, and they always will be above me sadly.

That's why it's important I don't let shit like this slide, and I'm not going change my mind. I'm 26 years old. I had enough.

Even within the community. "Only white gays are allowed in this club" "No blacks, asians etc." The fact racial gays are hardly ever showcased. So you can't win. That shit is even more taxing that being bashed by bigoted straights. Even within the community, you can't be loved.

I care what people think because if I didn't care, I'm ignoring the issues.

If my ancestors didn't care that they were not allowed to vote in elections, forced to participate in freak shows due to them being perceived as low IQ and dumb and thinking we are descended from monkeys and apes, not allowed to go to school and learn, not allowed inside establishments, weren't' allowed to ride public transportation etc. The list goes on.

If they didn't care, I wouldn't' be typing this message right now. So yes I do give a fuck what people think about me. I deserve to be loved like everyone else does. I don't hurt anyone. I go to work, pay my bills, and my taxes and I'm a law abiding citizen for the most part.

We will just agree to disagree. Mental, verbal and Psychological abuse is just as worse if not worse than physical abuse in some cases.
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You are very confused.

Their words can only bother you if you think that they have power over you and a right to judge you. Their words only have the power you give them. So what it is about them that makes you decide their opinions are valuable? Why are they some sort of authority in your eyes?

Consider Martin Luther King and the Deacons for Defense who made his movement possible: the Deacons didn't care what others thought about them; nothing the racists thought made them cringe emotionally the way you do. They knew that the way the racists thought was wrong, so rather than cry about being hurt by words, they armed themselves against actions. It was by standing up rather than whining that they made a difference.

See, you're mixing two things in order to justify your victim image: the political aspect and the personal are two different things. You can't justify your personal victimhood by appealing to the political scene, because your victim issue is all internal. If you have emotional trouble with the way others treat you, you'll never be free regardless of what the law says, because you are assigning value to what the racist and 'phobes say.

Stop letting the opinions of idiots bother your self-image. You belong to you, not to them, and you should grow up and act like it.
 
Taralen said:
Yes you do. You should check your white privilege.

If you're not going to help me, don't say there are gays willing to help you, when clearly you're not one of them. That number is getting quite low.
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This attitude will keep you from ever finding the people Kabluey is talking about. It's an attitude that is both self-fulfilling and self-destructive, because it is self-blinding. A line from an old Simon and Garfunkel song describes it perfectly: "A man sees what he wants to see and disregards the rest."

For your own sake, NO ONE should "help you" until you realize that your problem is YOU.

- - - Updated - - -

Kabluey said:
You don't need my help.
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Oh, actually he needs all our help. He just isn't ready for it, and won't be until he stops defining his problems as being the fault of others.
 
Kulindahr said:
Verbal and similar non-contact abuse only affects you if you give others power over yourself.

To quote the title of a book by Nobel laureate Richard Feynman, "What do you care what other people think?" If people are such slobs and lowlifes so as to lack enough self-control to refrain from heaping audible abuse on others, why do you value their opinions? Their words can only have power over you if you think their opinions are worth something!

Don't link words to physical attacks. Verbal abuse is no different than the growling of a dog: it tells you that an aggressive animal is hostile to you. Regard verbal abusers as dogs, and poorly trained ones at that; they are not human beings worthy of your attention, except insofar as their growling may precede violent action, in which case, as with any rabid animal, the proper response is to put them down so they can't endanger anyone else.
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What you wrote is complete utter bullshit. Words do matter. You tell that shit to all the kids who done tried to kill themselves or committed suicide from being called all sorts of slurs in high school and then have to face the same shit on Facebook.

Not everyone is thick skinned where they can let a word bounce off of them.

Verbal abuse can be just as brutal as physical. Stop trying to tell him how he should react. You should like the type of guy that will tell a woman that she isn't going through a domestic abuse situation because she is being called and told all sorts of mean and fucked up things by her husband and not being hit. Abuse is not just a physical action. It can be mental, emotional and verbal.
 
Kabluey said:
When I read posts like the one on reddit, and how these fuel similar conversations, it reminds me that some narcissists seek attention through appeals for sympathy, rather than boastfulness.
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Convert narcissism. This isn't it. I doubt the op is looking for sympathy but to be understood. Homophobes would agree that he should "take it".
 
refujiunderground said:
What you wrote is complete utter bullshit. Words do matter. You tell that shit to all the kids who done tried to kill themselves or committed suicide from being called all sorts of slurs in high school and then have to face the same shit on Facebook.

Not everyone is thick skinned where they can let a word bounce off of them.

Verbal abuse can be just as brutal as physical. Stop trying to tell him how he should react. You should like the type of guy that will tell a woman that she isn't going through a domestic abuse situation because she is being called and told all sorts of mean and fucked up things by her husband and not being hit. Abuse is not just a physical action. It can be mental, emotional and verbal.
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For kids, yes. Anyone old enough to be on this board should be an adult.

Which is why I said he needs to grow up and take hold of his life, and stop thinking that bigots' opinions are valuable.
 
Like that gay nightclub massacre is purely coincidental.

We need to unite. RIP To all the victims. My gay brothers and sisters and allies in that club.

Praying for the injured.
 
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